5 Reasons Why Sharing a David Wolfe Meme Makes You an Asshole

Phrost

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April 17, 2017

5 Reasons Why Sharing a David Wolfe Meme Makes You an Asshole

Unless you have carefully curated your feeds and friends lists, your participation on Social Media has probably exposed you to more mental pathogens than you know. The blatantly idiotic, migraine-inducing stuff these days is fairly easy to spot and avoid. But some idiocy is of the insidious variety: hard to spot at a glance, and sometimes dressed up in shiny platitudes and candy coating.

This describes just about everything posted by David “Avocado” Wolfe: nine times out of ten, the things he posts—for the ultimate purpose of establishing his own credentials to spread even more of his bullshit— are innocuous if a bit vapid, and easy to agree with. For example:

Again, Wolfe shares these processed, pre-chewed nuggets of dubious wisdom that are only a stencil and paintbrush away from being on the wall of some divorcee’s McMansion, to spread the reach of his influence. This really shouldn’t need to be explained to anyone with half a brain, except for the fact that this asshole’s got 10,621,865 goddamn subscribers on Facebook alone.

So let’s help fix this problem, shall we? Since this sack of garbage and cacao nibs likes sharing memes so much, let’s post memes with the shit he actually says.

Gravity is a Conspiracy

*Here you go, whip this out the next time Janice shares this asshole’s stuff*

What does Avocado-for-brains have to say?

“Gravity is not intrinsic to matter. That Carl Sagan idea that was sold to us on Cosmos on PBS, was sold to us deliberately to actually confuse us just so you know that. There’s people who have known that gravity is a force that can be displaced. There’s people that have known that since the 50s or even earlier than that. But by screwing up, confusing our mind about things, and giving us incorrect theories we were brain washed into a totally different belief system. That gravity is intrinsic to all matter, we’re fighting gravity, we have to push our way through gravity to launch a craft up into outer space, all this nonsense.”

Yes, PBS and Carl Sagan are conspiring to literally keep you down. On Earth. Instead of floating into space.

Jesus Christ.

Solar Panels “Drain the Sun”

We’ll just quote his memes into a meme. Pimp My Car references are still funny, right?

*That macaroni salad you brought to the potluck isn’t worth all this hassle*

The Earth Is Flat

Of course he believes this.

Of course he does.

Here:

*That rock monster or whatever is looking at the horizon. Think about that for a second…*

Deer Antlers Are Cosmic and “Levitational”

This makes us “punchinal” and “chokeabitchical”:

“Dear [sic] antler is not a product. It’s a cosmic substance. And it’s an androgenic substance, by the way—very androgenic. And it needs to be taken with respect and understanding, which is why we’ve been getting into this whole thing about estrogenic forces and then androgenic forces. You gotta know that deer antler is an androgenic force. And why? Because it’s cosmic in nature. It’s elevating. It’s levitational in nature. Which actually makes you younger. The forces of levity make you younger. Rudolf Steiner said that we gradually age due to substances in our body that are seized by the earth’s gravity. He could have said anything. He could have said anything at all, but he said that. That’s amazing. Then he said that you want to use the force of levity to drive the force of levity into your body. Then he talks about silica, that silica can be made to be levitational again.”

Chocolate is an Octave of Energy

You know what, we don’t even care any more.

Fuck it. Here’s someone else’s meme:

*…that’s not how anything works, Janice.*

Now that we’re thoroughly depressed/angry… deprangry, we’re just going to leave you with the following thoughts:

Sure, David Wolfe is a colossal asshole. For his own notoriety and validation he will sell you on some bullshit raw food nonsense rather than having you seek out actual dietitians, medicine, and medical professionals to address your health concerns. But who’s the bigger asshole: the one who takes the shit, or the one who takes someone else’s shit and smears it all over their own wall?

Do the world a favor and de-friend anyone who follows David Wolfe. Or at the very least, use one of these semi-carefully crafted memes to shame them into not smearing Wolfe shit in the first place.

Fat Acceptance Makes People Fatter

Health
News

Phrost

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April 11, 2017

7

Let’s suppose that the newest “thing” people are doing on this absurd planet is crashing their cars into brick walls. It’s viral, it’s a meme, whatever. Who cares if they get hurt? It’s their car, it’s their business. Live and let live… or at least, let-see if the airbags deploy, as far as you’re concerned, right?

*Peculiarly, this analogy would also have worked about listening to Country Music*

The thing is, that’s not how society works. Sure, if you live in the mountains, hundreds of miles from other people, it doesn’t really affect anyone else if you decide to cut your own brakes and see how far you can roll down that mountain before being impaled on a tree. Maybe in a dozen years some curious hiker will find an interesting skeleton to take a selfie with.

But you don’t live in a shack in the mountains, you live in a society. What you do affects other people, their property, and how we all navigate our daily lives in the wake of your willful stupidity. EMS has to show up, or at best, a tow truck, and even if you’re uninjured thanks to engineers who designed your car with idiots like you in mind, you inconvenience everyone by slowing down traffic.

You see, in a society, the question is always being asked: where do we draw the line as to what behaviors and choices we will, and will not accept? And the follow-up: on what side of that line falls not only self-destructive behavior, but personal health choices that impact the lives of others?

There are a lot of social groups and movements pressing for acceptance of their lifestyles these days, and in a free society there’s plenty of room for accommodation. More importantly, those choices, lifestyles, and orientations rarely have any affect on anyone else, especially if you just mind your own damn business.

The same cannot be said about the “Fat Acceptance” movement.

Heavy Facts

Carrying excess body fat increases the risk of diabetes, heart disease, osteoarthritis, some cancers, and all-cause mortality. [1]
The economic impact of obesity approaches $200 Billion a year in direct costs of medical care alone, not including indirect costs from loss of productivity due to missing work from health conditions. [2]
Nearly 50% of Emergency Medical Workers have suffered a back injury due to moving obese patients [3]

And yet, there are still organizations like the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, pushing the utterly debunked narrative of being “Heathy At Every Size”. We’ve covered the NAAFA before and their destructive, morally negligent message of accepting a dire health condition. So instead of reinventing the wheel (or mobility scooter), here’s a meme to get the point across about them:

The Adverse Effects of Acceptance

In a study recently published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, fewer Americans are attempting to address their obesity.

“Socially accepted normal body weight is shifting toward heavier weight. As more people around us are getting heavier, we simply believe we are fine, and no need to do anything with it.”
-Lead author Dr. Jian Zhang, public health researcher at Georgia Southern University.

Where to go from here

It’s been argued that shaming is not an effective means of changing individual behavior, and there are conflicting studies that show this isn’t necessarily the case. Regardless of its effectiveness, it’s just a shitty thing to do. But even if Shame is a less-than-producitve means for a social group to express that a behavior or condition is unacceptable, the alternative is not Acceptance.

And with science and medicine having clearly drawn the line as to what a healthy amount of body fat consists of in general, it’s perfectly fair for society to refuse to accept the idea that it’s okay to be obese. Because to do otherwise is demonstrably harmful.

Belief in Demons is Harmful to Mental Health

Phrost

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April 10, 2017

1

Belief in Demons is Harmful to Mental Health

With everything going on in the world today —war, terrorism, financial instability, Cheetos— why do people still bother worrying about made up boogeymen?

People who believe in demons or evil spirits are less likely to be in good mental health according to a study from Purdue University. Data from 3290 Americans was used to arrive at the conclusions, from their participation in the National Study of Youth and Religion.

The main results in our study suggest that even after controlling for benevolent beliefs (beliefs in a close, personal God), a strong belief in demons still leads to poorer mental health. Meanwhile, the demonic effect on mental health is one of the strongest among all measures of religiosity…

During childhood, we were told that demons exist and they may tempt us to do things evil. To children and even many adults, we may fear that demons are watching us from behind and attack us off guard when left alone in a dark room. To people who are burdened or dismayed with life issues, the demons-cause-my-misfortune belief might be well accepted. So are demons really that bad? Can our everyday lived experience with demons be scientifically tested? These observations, experience, and questions led me to study this topic.

Fanhao Nie, Purdue University

Conversely, while the idea of malicious, supernatural creatures lurking around in our lives was shown to adversely affect mental health, suffering from mental health problems did not appear to lead to a greater belief in demons. The study was published in the Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion.

Everything that Went Wrong With Weidman v Mousasi at UFC 210

MMA
News

Lampa

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April 9, 2017

1

Everything that Went Wrong With Weidman v Mousasi at UFC 210

The co-main event of UFC 210 featured a bout between the two most memetic middleweights on the roster- “The” Chris “The All American” Weidman versus Gegard “Moose-sassy” “Musashi” Mousasi. Weidman used the forward pressure and well-timed takedowns he’s known for to distance himself in the first stanza, but an unshaken Mousasi proved difficult to hold in one spot and, by the second opening bell, The All American seemed prematurely drained by the effort. Mousasi inflicted some damage from the outside early in the second frame and tried a takedown of his own to put a button on the performance. Weidman reversed and ended up as the man on top then Mousasi reversed again and got back to his feet in what is colloquially known as a fucking fight.

Leaning on top of Weidman, the Moose let loose with two knees to the head that were, in the moment, questionably legal. What followed was the greatest number of layers of error I have ever seen in a single bad call in any professional bout. So, with a great hindsight view from the comfort of my warm armchair, below is a detailed list of the four separate mistakes that went wrong with the finish of Weidman v. Mousasi:

Knowing that knees to his face were imminent, Weidman reached to the ground with both hands to capitalize on the new definition of a grounded opponent (one with four points touching the floor), so as to make a knee to his head illegal. Mousasi responded by lifting Weidman’s shoulders to peel his hands off the ground just before throwing each of two knees. Both of these knees skirted the line between what is legal under the new sets of rules. A replay would later reveal that both knees were perfectly legit. But, believe it or not, that should not have mattered during the fight.

Referee Dan Miragliotta judged the second knee to be illegal and responded appropriately by calling a timeout, sending Mousasi to a neutral corner and having Weidman examined by ringside doctors to determine if the illegal blow would force the bout to stop.

Mistake number one- the fact that the knee was legal but Miragliotta judged it illegal- is actually both minor and understandable, on its own. The shot was legal, but was a fence-rider and easily could have appeared to be a foul from the referee’s perspective. What should have happened was that the ringside doctor should have immediately conducted the examination and made a determination as to whether Weidman could continue. If he could, the fight resets and goes on with no point deduction. If he could not, the fight is a no contest due to accidental foul. The referee is, by the rules, the final authority on all matters inside the octagon. Even if a blow isn’t actually illegal, the second a referee says its a foul, the blow has to be treated as a foul. There is no replay in New York. Which brings us to mistakes two and three, where things start to get really messy.

Mistake two actually contributed most to the cluster fuck, even though it seems smaller than three. An illegal blow only gets five minutes if it is a groin shot. Every other illegal blow is to be examined by the ringside doctor, immediately, and the call made by the doctor is to be acted upon as soon as the determination is made. The five minute rule, where the fighter gets up to five minutes and then uses his own judgment if he wants to continue, only applies to groin shots because an athlete can’t drop trow and get his down-unders examined live on Pay-Per-View. The fact that officials seemingly started to give Weidman five minutes and then called the doctor in led directly to both mistake three and the final error.

With some extra time on their hands due to mistake two, the officials and commentators all repeatedly announced that, in New York, a replay is not allowed to be consulted in a live referee call- a controversial rule whose primary justification is that overturning a referee call in the middle of a bout, even if the call was bad, can cause confusion and lead to further regulatory errors.

Then, everyone from the officials to the commentators proceeded to consult the fucking replay. The replay revealed that the original call was bad and it was overturned in the middle of the bout, resulting in confusion and leading to further regulatory errors.*

*Note: Allowing replays is now more common than not in most states. Until last night, I didn’t really have a good argument for why there should be a no-replay rule. But, here we are.

Now, Weidman, under the impression that the knee was illegal, was gaming the rules to give him as long a break as possible to recover from being kneed in the face. This is some common gamesmanship and, had he known that the knee would be judged legal, I have no doubt Weidman would have at least made a much greater attempt to power through.

Instead the doctors, who took their sweet time getting to Weidman, changed the standards by which they were judging him, mid-examination, from the knee being a foul to being a legal blow. So, Weidman’s perfectly normal behavior of trying to get a few seconds added to the break due to an illegal blow suddenly became tacit admission that he was not able to intelligently defend himself. Weidman, not even aware that the call was overturned because it fucking can’t be overturned according to the rules, looked on in stunned silence as he lost by TKO after the fact- the fourth and final error.

The New York State Athletic Commission has shown a pattern leading up to this event in Buffalo- not everyone in the commission has a full understanding of all the states’ rules and just shoots from the hip. Pearl Gonzalez was informed the day before her weigh in, meaning well after she applied for and was approved a fighter’s license, that her breast augmentation disqualified her from fighting in New York- a call that stinks of “oh shit, did you read this!?” Then, after much public outcry about the last-minute decision and probably significant grumbles from the UFC, Ms. Gonzalez was once again back in the game- a call that stinks of “oh shit, did you read this!?”

What we saw last night was just the simple fact that the Empire State, the last one to the MMA party, is also the furthest behind the regulatory learning curve. And with that, I just torpedoed my idea to do some side work as a judge.

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu On Medication

Pandinha

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April 6, 2017

2

Starting Jiu Jitsu on medication? I’m on statins, blood thinner, and blood pressure medication. Been on them after my heart attack some years back. They’re also responsible for me not being on the mats the past two years. I burned out, hated my body not working the way I wanted it to. Bruises lasting for weeks. Not being able to last the warm ups or drill. I’ve changed a couple of meds, and so far it’s been working for me. I would be lying if I said they don’t affect my performance. I get winded quickly, still bruise easily, and get light headed if I push too hard. Or at least when I started back training. It hasn’t been too bad lately, but that would have to do with what we all deal with getting back on the mats, the body toughening/hardening to the rigors of Jiu Jitsu. Still, when I don’t feel it, I don’t spar. Today was an example of that. Didn’t get much of a warm up, and spent the drilling sessions with a new student going over kimura, hip bumps, and americanas.

What you should do before even contemplating training Jiu Jitsu on medication, talk to your Doctor. You should also ask if you are healthy enough to participate. Jiu Jitsu is intensive, even if you don’t spar. While drilling is at your pace, if your cardiovascular system isn’t ready for it, it can tax you heavily. Trust me, I talk from anecdotal experience which you should consider gospel. Be smart, get a check up first.

So you pass all the checkups, Doc says it’s okay to train, you signed up and gung ho. Things to consider. Depending on the gym you join, warm ups can be intensive. They are done so to prevent injuries to you during the course of training. A warmed up body is a pliant and ready body for contusions. Be prepared to sweat, and more important, don’t think you have to keep up with the Twenty somethings. One day sure, but not today, or next week, or next month. Warm up at your own pace.

When it comes to learning a new move and drilling, being twisted up and put in crushing positions can be a pain in the ass. If you’re like me and work a desk job, you most likely suffer from tight quadriceps, calves, hip flexors, have anterior pelvic tilt, and tight hips. Yoga and stretching are your friends. Your BFFs for life type of friends. I’ve found that after class is a fantastic time to work on flexibility. You’re already warmed up, sweating, and pliable. I’ve found the free videos on youtube by the people at Yoga For BJJ is a superb place to start. They are full time BJJ players and certified yoga professionals.

I’ve touched on sparring on my last blog post, won’t delve into it too much in this one. Sparring is what Jiu Jitsu is all about. This is where you pressure test your technique against a training partner of equal or greater skill level. Starting out, I’d suggest you take it easy, and see how a few rolls affect you if you are on medication and have an existing health issue. Ramp up as you see fit, and how your body feels. It is rough, it is fun, and it is an integral part of your journey.

Sure you can go to the gym and lift weights, run on the treadmill. Or you can get all of the benefits training BJJ while learning to defend yourself. There’s so many positives in training in Jiu Jitsu, decrease stress levels, getting fit, mental toughness, losing weight, and getting flexible. If you have the access to a great BJJ Academy, do it. Bodybuilding is so passe, we don’t lift weights, we lift people. Get on the mats and train – But get your Doctor’s recommendation first!

Who Promoted Convicted Sex Criminal Paul Saucido to Black Belt?

Phrost

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April 6, 2017

0

Who Promoted Convicted Sex Criminal Paul Saucido to Black Belt?

The black belt is a symbol of mastery. Should it be a symbol of character too?

In 2009, at a party, Paul Saucido sexually assaulted a woman who was passed out in a bathroom. He then followed her home and assaulted her again, according to the arrest statement. He plead guilty to avoid felony charges and was given four years probation with fourteen years on the sex offender registry:

https://records.txdps.state.tx.us/SexOffender/PublicSite/Application/Search/Individual.aspx?IND_IDN=12321661

“The woman drank too much, an arrest affidavit says, and blacked out in the bathroom after getting sick. She awoke in the bathroom to find Saucido raping her, she told police, and she screamed in pain before blacking out again…

…(The friend) knocked on the bathroom door, as it was believed that (the woman) was inside. After a moment … (the friend) heard the bathroom door open and saw Saucido look out, then close and lock the door again,” the affidavit says. “Once Saucido opened the door, (the friend) saw (the woman) was in there with him. (The friend) said Saucido carried (the woman) to the taxi.”…

…Half an hour later, the friend and boyfriend heard noises coming from the living room, the affidavit says. The boyfriend went to investigate and found Saucido again having sex with the woman, who was still passed out face down on the couch, the affidavit says….

…On police request, the victim agreed to a recorded phone call to Saucido, during which she asked him about the assault, the affidavit says. The papers say Saucido told her during the call that while the incident was happening, he thought to himself, “I don’t know what … I’m doing. I need to sober up.”

Saucido, a local celebrity in Austin, Texas, until very recently taught Brazilian Jiujitsu at Austin Zen Fit. Public pressure over the recent revelations of his criminal record seem to have resulted in him no longer working there. And until he resurfaces to teach women at some other unsuspecting school, the question becomes about the credentials he’d use to get the job.

Unlike other professions, a Martial Arts Instructor has no formal requirements for opening or teaching at a school. There’s no license required beyond those standard for doing routine business. There’s no accrediting body or commission. There’s only the belt rank – publicly understood as the most important qualifier of someone’s skills to both perform and teach the style for which the belt was awarded.

*Screenshot from Austin Zen Fit’s instructor bio page prior to removal, claiming Saucido received his black belt from Rigan Machado*

Previous belt ranks were granted to Saucido by 8th degree black belt Rigan Machado, considered a legend by many in the Brazilian Jiujitsu world. In 2013, once word of Saucido’s conviction became known, Machado disavowed all connections with him:

And yet, in 2014 they’re posing for selfies together:

And then, Saucido wearing a black belt, having “gotten his butt kicked” by Rigan:

It won’t need to be explained to people who do martial arts, but for the sake of those who follow Bullshido for our work on other subjects such as fitness, health, and science; we’ll point out that it’s extremely unlikely for a practitioner of a style to be promoted up to the rank before black belt and then switch lineages to obtain the next rank, only to maintain the association with his former instructor and lineage.

This is from 2016:

So the questions remain: if Rigan Machado did not grant convicted sex offender Paul Saucido a black belt, who did? And in a broader sense, does credentialing someone as a black belt in your system endorse that person’s character, or simply their skills?

Do instructors who earn their living teaching students the skills to fight off criminals and predators, have any responsibility to protect the community at large from predators in their own ranks?

Probably Get Some Heat For This…

Pandinha

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March 30, 2017

0

Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. Teaching the white belt class tonight, I said it more than times than I remember. How many times have we all tried to power through a move, forget a piece of the equation that finishes a move? This leads to the move not working, or working poorly. Or at the worst, injury. On the flip side, how many times have we sparred with our Head Coach, and been swept so easily, and at half speed by Coach? It’s trusting the technique. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.

Three top reasons why we rush:

1. Afraid the move won’t work
2. Afraid the move won’t work
3. Afraid the move won’t work

Ways to fix it. Drill with a compliant partner. You should already be doing that. Drill with a lightly resisting partner. Flow roll with partner. The older grappler has to train smarter, we don’t heal as fast. In fact, we aren’t as fast as we were a few decades ago. The only way we beat age and athleticism are with technique and timing.

What I’m doing to stay healthy and keep me on the mats. I limit the amount of sparring I do. And when I do, it’s to work on what I’ve been drilling on. I use sparring to test what I’ve been drilling. Don’t go into rolling without a plan. Stress test that half guard to full guard retention. The sweep you’ve been laying the smack down drilling. This isn’t me suggesting you follow my steps, I’m suggesting you train smart and moderate the amount of sparring. It’s the one thing that will wear you down physically and mentally. It took me about 5 years total mat time to get to Purple. I started in 2001. A lot of that time wasted not training was due to injuries, some to burning out. I’m the last of my circle of friends still training that all started at White not a Black Belt. Train smart, train longer.

As with everything I post, this is my experience and my way to keep training till I’m in my 60’s. If you find it helpful, add it to yours. If you think I’m full of it, cool. Thanks for reading!

Frames – Not Just For Pretty Pictures.

Pandinha

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March 17, 2017

0

Over the years, I’ve changed my game drastically. I used to love passing loose, and use my athletic ability to pass guard, go for subs, attempt to hang with the young-ins. Well as much as a 250+ man can anyways. Those days are long gone. When I’m on the mats, nothing hurts, now I’m at home, and life sucks. Almost three hours on the mats today, training, drilling and teaching. Like you, life stops on the mats, and it’s only Jiu Jitsu, in the moment.

So what’s changed? Frames. Everywhere. Frames were there before, but it took time on the mats, experience, and pain to take notice of them, and their power. When you’re a white, you’re all about GO GO GO! Pass that guard, fuck technique, get around that leg, get the head and crush. Somewhat less at blue, but I remember rolling with a brown that for the life of me, not crush, not get a limb, and would escape and put me back in guard with ease. And it was all frames. The realization that when you are defending you want space, and when you are attacking you want no space using pressure, and that frames are the key to defending. Ryan Hall has a great breakdown on guard defense, first, second, third and how you intermingle the legs, arms, elbows, into different frames to either go secondary back to primary (Guard), to sweep and attack. If you get a chance to watch his DVD, I’d highly recommend it.

But that wasn’t my first experience with learning frames. As a new blue, I bought Roy Harris “BJJ OVER 40” DVD. Basic info compared to what is out there now, but it was a game changer for me. As with all of us, we’re voracious in our search for knowledge, and piecing it all together. Keenan Cornelius once said they trained for transitions, to expect the moves coming and be prepared for it. All about the frames, baby. The frames.

Where to begin? Let’s talk about the guys at BJJ Curriculum. Coach Doug from Vanguard Gym is a fantastic instructor. He filmed a 45 minute video that will push you to the next level as a grappler. I learned a few new tricks and got reacquainted with technique I’ve lost. When I say you need to watch this, I mean it. You will never worry about your guard being passed and being stuck under side control, ever again.

I know I’ve lost you for the whole video. It’s cool, it’s fantastic and full of information. Who likes getting stuck under side control? Not me, and I know not you. That’s only part of the equation, half guard is another position that frames shine. And that leads me to my next video for you to watch. Cane Prevost from Straight Blast Gym, where the “Stoned Squirrel” originated from, is a fantastic teacher. Simple technique, can be done by anyone, and again, will erase any apprehension you have going against a bigger, stronger, younger training partner.

Half Guard Bottom “A” Game

In short, as I get older, I’m not looking to be Mundial Champion. I’m looking to survive. One of my best friends, Dave Novigrod, one of Rigan Machado’s earliest American Black Belts told me once when I was a blue was, don’t worry about tapping someone. Work on not getting tapped, your defense is what matters. Once you can defend, you can attack. Of course this was after the first time we sparred and he dragged me through the garden of pain. I threw up twice that day. Old school BJJ Black Belts and their fucking pressure.

Give me feedback. Let me know your thoughts. Till next week Homies.

Teaching Yourself How To Suck Less

Pandinha

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March 7, 2017

0

Depending on your level, teaching is one of the pillars of growing as a Grappler. Teaching is learning twice. If you have had the chance to read “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell you are already familiar with 10,000 hours and perfect practice. If not, I’d suggest strongly doing so. Teaching imho is another extension of perfect practice. You have to be detail oriented to teach. We all know how one little tweak, one move a half inch can change a move from almost getting it, to fully locked on. One step out of an equation can let your partner escape or reverse a position. That’s why we drill, ad naseum. Teaching lets your body rest and your mind run through the steps, continually correcting and adjusting your training partners. Learning twice.

To be clear, I’m saying do this as a supplement to the Coaching you already receive from your Academy. Your Head Coach knows best.

I’m not saying if you’re a white belt you should be instructing another white belt, you don’t have the experience yet, one day, but not right now. But even as white belt you have the perfect student, yourself. Find your training partner to drill, and coach yourself through movements. If you make a mistake, start from scratch. There should be no one harder than yourself teaching you. How is this different from drilling? Drilling is continuous practice on a pattern you’ve already learned and now perfecting. Teaching yourself is learning a new pattern. This is where being detail oriented is what will separate you from everyone else who just wants to “ARGGH SPAR ROLL HULK SMASH”. Teach yourself till you can check off on your mental list that you have the technique down and can pass yourself. Try this, I promise you, you will find that you as a Coach will piss yourself off as a student.

For the colored belts, you have a little more leeway with being able to teach someone a new technique. But as a Blue, you’re really nothing more than a 5 stripe white belt. You’re still learning the nuances. But you aren’t a Spaz anymore, so you have that going for you. You’re already starting to see when people are making mistakes, can start feeling their weight not balanced on you properly, you might be able to capitalize, or you just might freeze up thinking what the Hell do I do now? I know five million moves and I can’t remember one of them. All part of being a blue. One of the hardest belts in my short career. As a white, no one really expected much of you, as a blue, you’re looked at someone who knows the basics and that is something you can pass on. You’re the perfect candidate to be coached by you.

By the time you are a purple, you’ve put in some time on the mats. The faixa roxa is a Professional Belt. The commitment to the art can’t be denied. And you speak Jiu Jitsu with your technique.

And I should elaborate with that. There’s a meme flowing on the web about belts and what they mean. I can’t find it, which is par for the course, so will go from memory.

White Belt – You’re learning a new language and picking up a word here and there and what it means, you know armbar but you can’t say it properly yet.

Blue Belt – You’ve learned more words and can put them together to be understood. You now know the word Kimura, and that it goes with the Kimura sweep/hip bump. As well as other words that are not flowing and coming together. But you can see the flow.

Purple Belt – You’re having conversations now in Jiu Jitsu. You either can speak it real well, or you can read it real well, in some cases you’re able to do both at will. Being fluent isn’t that far away. In fact you can safely say you can converse in Jiu Jitsu.

Brown Belt – You’re writing dissertations with your Jiu Jitsu. You are fluent, and can teach the language to others.

Black Bet – You’re speaking with a Brazilian Accent and calling everyone a Palhaço.

BJJ belt progression via black belt Matt “Aesopian” Kirtley – Aesopian.com

In each and everyone of those levels, being able to teach or convey a technique gets easier and easier. But you have to start with the first student who you can trust, you. Invest in yourself, mentally. Don’t go through the motions. Let’s face it, us older guys know we have a finite amount of time on this planet. We have to spend it wisely.

Caveat – Don’t be a technique collector. Learn in threes, it’s easier on the body, and on your brain. Three passes, three guards, three subs, three side controls, and on and on. Carlson Gracie once said, “You know a thousand moves, and you suck at every of them”. Don’t be that guy. Build a solid base.

If I’ve wandered around in this post, I’m blaming the two white belts I worked with all night on how to do a tripod pass with shoulder pressure. I’m mentally beat.

TLDR; Teach yourself, help teach others, get swole, hulk smash, BJJ FTW.