Vintage Health Product Advertising BS

Like STDs, Advertising has been a health threat ever since people started screwing each other. But the ads that our parents, grandparents, and their parents were subjected to, were a whole other order of magnitude of threatening to their health.

Some of these are authentic ads, some are photoshops. Can you tell the difference? More importantly, what does it say about our health industry over the years that separating the two isn’t so easy?

Ahh yes, Sugar, as good for curbing appetites as curbs are for your teeth.
Vitamin D-onuts… from the makers of Fried Celery
Remember the movie “Tombstone” where Wyatt Earp’s wife was addicted to drugs so he ran off with an actress instead? This is what she was addicted to.

 

DDT isn’t the name of Jake “The Snake” Robert’s signature pro-wrestling move. It’s a chemical used as a pesticide that caused cancer in people and threatened to wipe out several species of birds.
We’re pretty sure you’d have more success at weight loss on the .GIF diet

 

From across the pond…

 

This one’s on the Yank side of that pond…

 

We almost didn’t post this so as to prevent an unholy alliance between Vapers and Hipsters… Vapesters. God help us.

 

And if you eat enough human feces you’ll meet your daily protein requirements too!

 

Ruth Pfahler disagrees on the subject of Fat Bottom Girls making the Rockin’ World Go Round’. And for a quarter, she can stop all that obnoxious rockin’.

 

DuPont is to blame for the ancestors of the Jersey Shore. Also, infant skin cancer.

 

If you manage to wash away fat you’re probably doing something really, really wrong.

 

Delicious, slimming bile.
More Cancer in the Convenience of your own home!
Ron Swanson’s baby picture…

 

7 Up + Milk = Throw Up 
The nutrition science behind butter and fats in general has reversed in the last decade, but we’re sure this isn’t how lipids work.
Phrost
Phrost
I don't write articles for people who read the New York Times or Nature, I write articles for people who read microwave pizza instructions more than once but are significantly more dangerous as a group. Head Knuckle at Bullshido.
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