Curls: Why Do Any Other Lift?

Okay bro, look. There are only two reasons to lift weights:

1. To prepare yourself for a situation in which being strong is essential to your survival

2. To get into ladies’ pants.

And since we live in the safest time in all of human history, your fantasy about zombie invasions or robot apocalypses or gremlin attacks isn’t justification to spend all that effort on something that doesn’t involve impressing the ladies.

supinating-dumbbell-bicep-curl
Biceps: because legs mean squat

From an evolutionary perspective, the male of our species was designed to be strong, to protect the tribe. Females look for mates who will pass on stronger genes and will be able to protect their offspring. And that’s why bigger arms equal a bigger dating pool. So you want to be drowning in it, you’ve got to pump those pythons like a Hulk Hogan sextape.

mtv-jerseyshore-season-pool-acb-fa-cf-guidos-496548780
What are you going to do if you’ve got noodle arms and find yourself in this Situation?
Phrost
Phrost
I don't write articles for people who read the New York Times or Nature, I write articles for people who read microwave pizza instructions more than once but are significantly more dangerous as a group. Head Knuckle at Bullshido.
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