“Your Presence Here Will Cause Babies to Die” – Doctor Storms Stage at Anti-Vaccine Conference

The paranoid anti-vaccine conspiracy movie “Vaxxed” is making its rounds in all the hippest circles of gullible mooks who believe Playboy models over medical science. If that sounds harsh, it’s because we absolutely mean it to be.

Whether deluded, willfully ignorant, mentally deficient, or just along for the psychological empowerment provided by feeling like you’re a part of a group ‘in the know’, the anti-vaccine movement is a greater threat to the Human race than any group of terrorists operating today. If that sounds like hyperbole, you should probably contrast the potential numbers of deaths by acts of terrorism, and deaths by global pandemics; even a nuke looks like a bitch to The Flu.

The Spanish Flu… like 9/11 times 33,333.333333333336

We’re not going to waste time rehashing the reasons why vaccinations are important. If you’ve somehow found yourself on this website, reading this article, and you don’t grasp “herd immunity” and related concepts, fuck you. No, really. You, personally, and everyone in your general vicinity too, just in case you’re a reservoir for pathogenic stupidity. And that’s pretty much all the time we’re going to spend on that in this piece.

So it warms our healthily thumping vaccinated hearts when we see doctors standing up to the bullshit, doing war dances of righteous rage–literally in this case–in the faces of the idiots whose stupidity also-literally kills innocent people.

Doctor Lance O’Sullivan was 2014’s New Zealander of the Year, in part, for his selfless contributions to public health and volunteering his time to take care of impoverished and rural citizens of the country. He was invited to attend the screening of “Vaxxed”, a film from disgraced former doctor Andrew Wakefield whose fraudulent research inspired the anti-vaccine movement. The locations of the screening, we should add, were only announced to invitees a few hours prior to the event.

Instead of passively watching the film, Dr. O’Sullivan took the stage to deliver a withering screed against it, and the audience:

I’ve come here not to watch the film, but to continue my battle and my challenge for my people … and importantly, for our children.


I come here with a lot of anger … that’s because I am adamantly opposed to this because this position is, this idea of anti-immunisation has killed children around the world and actually will continue to kill children whose parents are put off immunisation because of misinformation – misinformation based on lies.


Fraudulent people for their own reasons have decided that they would put forward false information that actually causes harm to children.

Your presence here will cause babies to die.

After delivering his message, according to witnesses, he performed the “Haka”, or tribal war dance of the Maori. We don’t have video of that (yet?), so here’s Manu Bennet, fellow New Zealander, who played Crixus in Spartacus and Slade “Deathstroke” Wilson in Arrow. Close enough? Edit: we’ve got the actual video (sorry Manu fans):


The vaccine conspiracy community immediately took to social media to complain that Dr. O’Sullivan attended the film “under false pretenses” (as if there were a good pretense under which to attend it), and he was referred to as a “pharma whore” by one detractor.

The film “Vaxxed” is currently being shopped around at film festivals, and through the efforts of the medical and scientific community, was recently pulled from the prestigious Tribeca film festival. Andrew Wakefield, the former doctor and bag of sentient Clostridium spp masquerading as a Human responsible for the conspiracy theory, is a resident of Austin, Texas.

I don't write articles for people who read the New York Times or Nature, I write articles for people who read microwave pizza instructions more than once but are significantly more dangerous as a group. Head Knuckle at Bullshido.
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