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  1. #1

    Michael Schiavello's Classic Commentary Lines

    To be completely honest with you guys up until this day we have never heard of Michael Schiavello's aka The Voice. DREAM 9 was a great event, but Michael made the event that much better. He was very witty, insightful, and informative and he added a new level of excitement to the HDnet broadcast that has been missing as of late. So we decided to dig a little deeper and found a list of hilarious quotes that Michael has compiled over his many years of commentating.

    "A female groupie backstage at an Elton John concert would have more chance of picking up than this fighter does of winning this fight."

    "He's scored more than Tommy Lee at a boat party"

    "I just set up a Myspace Page for him under the name 'Man Who Doesn't Jab' ... he's already got 40 friends!"

    "Ring-a-ding-ding in Beijing!"

    "If punches were people, he'd be China!"

    "You'd have an easier time picking up KD Lang in a bar..."

    "The Cuban boxing team over the years have put more gold around their neck than Mr T."

    "He loves fighting on the inside. He's agorophobic -- he's afraid to go outside!"

    "He's stacking the combinations like a supermarket shelf."

    "He has no chance of winning this, unless maybe a safe falls on his opponnet's head!"

    "I`m sure somewhere in the world Drago is depriving a village of an idiot."

    "He`s doing a Tony Danza and showing him Who`s The Boss!"

    "That`s the worst haircut since Dr Spock" -- on Masato`s new bowl haircut

    "He`s been scored on more times than my ex-girlfriend."

    "Drago`s hungry tonight... he`d probably fight for a rice cake."

    "He`s so short he could sit on a piece of toilet paper and his feet would still dangle."

    "He`s like the Volvo of K-1 Max" -- on Yoshihiro Sato

    "Open the fridge, he`s out cold!"

    "That round was ugly but entertaining... just like the last girl I dated."

    "The wheel is spinning but the mouse inside the wheel is dead. He killed the mouse!" -- on Gago Drago

    "He's so tall in summertime he still gets snow on his head."
    -- On 7'2" Hong Mann Choi

    "He's so tall when he walks past the zoo giraffes are attracted to him."
    -- On Choi again

    "There's more Brazilians in that corner than at my local wax salon."
    -- On Ewerton Texeira's corner team

    "Two things I know for sure: we will never beat Amy Winehouse in a drinking contest, and Texeira definitely won that fight."
    -- On Texeira's points win against Musashi

    "He's an artist. He should cut his ear off."
    -- On Dutch technician Remy Bonjasky

    "He's so pimp. He's a bad ass."
    -- On K-1 heavyweight champion Badr Hari

    "Glaciers move faster."
    -- On the slowness of Hong Mann Choi

    "Look at the redness around his ribcage, it looks like he's been barbecued."
    -- On Hong Mann Choi's badly damaged midsection

    "What happened to his eyebrows? He gave them a Brazilian!"
    -- On Glaube Feitosa's lack of eyebrows

    "Semmy Schilt has less personality than a head of lettuce."
    -- On Semmy's lack of charisma

    "Feitosa is a nice Brazilian... I like a nice Brazilian... I used to tell my ex-girlfriend that all the time."

    "There are two things I know for sure: Britney Spears will never win Mother of The Year and Albert Kraus didn't win that fight!"

    "He went swimming last week and Japanese whaling boats began firing harpoons at him."

    "He's been on his back more than my ex-girlfriend."

    "He wears more hair product than Bon Jovi."

    "I'm so excited I've got goosebumps on my arm... or some other sort of strange growth."

    "There are no windows in Mighty Mo's house. If he wants to let a breeze in he just punches a hole in the wall."

    "He's a stud... there are no such things as lesbians in the world, just women who haven't met Paul Slowinski yet."

    "He's so short he could milk a cow standing up. You know he went to Tokyo Disneyland last week and they wouldn't let him on any of the rides."

  2. #2
    Hesperus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Great Plains
    "You wanna see Bob Sapp eat. This guy gets the munchies and entire farming communities go out of business."

  3. #3
    alex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    New Zealand
    Muay Thai
    yeah ive been listening to mike commentate for a while and chatted to him a few times, hilarious guy. He used to do the commentary on K-1 events over here with Mike Angove, half the time they were more entertaining than the fight

  4. #4
    Deadmeat's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Mixed Martial Arts
    Yeah the voice is HUGE (lol) over in AUS/NZ particularly in the Muay Thai Community. Some love him, some hate him, but all agree he's witty.

  5. #5
    Siniq's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    the woods of eastern Europe
    Gym drifter
    Am I the only one who hates this guy?
    Quote Originally Posted by MrBadGuy
    The Dog kid's mom is parked next to me in the parking lot. He runs up and asks me a question. "Hey dude, where did you learn that stuff?"

    "That was grappling. Real MMA."

    "Where do I go for that?"

    I was a little shocked. Sure, he changed sides quickly, but I guess even a dog can realize it has more in common with the wolf than with the shephard.

    I give him the names of some BJJ schools in the area, and we go our separate ways.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    According to deadmeat in the post above you, there are at the very least several australians that hate him.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Yes Siniq, yes you are. I love this guy, seriously can't get enough of him. I love the one about stealing the round like Winona Ryder, and Paris Hiltons home videos.

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Weight Training
    Quote Originally Posted by Deadmeat View Post
    Yeah the voice is HUGE (lol) over in AUS/NZ particularly in the Muay Thai Community. Some love him, some hate him, but all agree he's witty.
    Is it A-1 he does commenting on as well?
    I used to hear this bloke when I used to watch more Muay Thai fights years ago. I think he commented on both Gurkan Ozkan vs Mike Zambidis fights and I couldn't help thinking that the stuff this nutter said was quite offensive....and hilarious.
    Surfing Facebook at work? Spread the good word by adding us on Facebook today!

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Calgary, AB
    Muay Thai
    "He's seeing more crosses than the Catholic Church!"

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    port kembla australia
    muay thai
    ....and my favourite is
    "he's all over him like a fat kid on a cream cake"
    Just can't be the old ones!

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