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  1. #1
    BudoMonkey's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Fighting for money

    So, I'm having a little issue. As some of you know, I had to take 3 years off of competing due to a serious injury sustained during muay thai training. Now, prior to that, I fought often- in muay thai, boxing, and karate tournaments. Now, in my younger years before this layoff, I had no problems with motivation. I was ferocious. I would enter damn near every tournament I could, never thought once about the safety of my opponent nor the reason I was fighting- I just stormed in there and wrecked people.

    But, something has changed in me. I am 23 now, and I have a 2 year old son named Felix who is the best thing to ever happen to me. Like I said, this has changed my whole outlook on life, and now I am having a little problem with motivation. During my last tournament, an iska sanshou comp, the following thoughts kept popping up into my head: Why am I here? What am I trying to prove? Why did I pay money and drive all this way to spend time away from my son? I'm sitting here waiting around all day...I should be up in the hotel room playing with him. I should be taking him to frickin universal studios. (which I did after the fights)

    And more disturbing, I found a severe lack of motivation to hurt my opponents. I kept thinking, 'these kids have fathers too. what if that was my son in there? I wouldn't pick my own son up and slam him on his head...I don't wanna hurt them''
    Like I said, I never used to have this issue, but is was largely present this time around. I'd never even thought of these things before, and had no problem seriously injuring other competitors with no remorse.

    Everything has changed in me. Now, I can't think of any reason to fight if it's not for money. It better be a nice chunk of change too, something to make it worth my while. It's just the only motivation I can think of to be away from my family and hurt people.

    Anyhow; what does that make me? I don't feel like a ***** for it, but it feels weird to be missing that natural drive, to even need motivation in the first place. But that's how it is. Is it wrong to feel this way? Does anyone else have this problem?

    I am competing in NAGA either way, in October, but only cause I've just started ju jitsu so I need to test myself. Plus, I don't have to worry about the risk of injuring others or myself so much in grappling anyways.

    Oi, thoughts or comments please.
    "This is why we are here. Because the Martial Arts for too long have been cloaked in an unnecessary level of secrecy bordering on mysticism, and its in these shadows that the cockroaches love to hide. -Phrost"

    Quote Originally Posted by Squerlli
    And of course, our resident hard man, underground fighter, kitten rescuer, loving father (I'm serious), and over all very sexy furry ************... Budo monkeh.

  2. #2
    WARNING: BJJ may cause airway obstruction. Join us... or die
    EternalRage's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    If you fight for money, your thoughts are probably just going to change to "**** there's safer ways to make money without jeopardizing my health for my family". Also if you've got doubts about what you're doing, fighting for money may not be a good idea overall.

    It's just a matter of thinking through priorities, try and balance them if you can, and if you can't, well then something's gotta change.

  3. #3
    BudoMonkey's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I have no problem fighting for money. As long as there is that incentive, I'm there.

    I just feel like maybe I'm losing 'the spirit of the thing' by not caring as much about other comps.
    "This is why we are here. Because the Martial Arts for too long have been cloaked in an unnecessary level of secrecy bordering on mysticism, and its in these shadows that the cockroaches love to hide. -Phrost"

    Quote Originally Posted by Squerlli
    And of course, our resident hard man, underground fighter, kitten rescuer, loving father (I'm serious), and over all very sexy furry ************... Budo monkeh.

  4. #4
    Southpaw's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Not wanting to fight is the least of your problems as a father. Just wait...soon you'll start tearing up when watching Disney movies. :)

  5. #5
    I'd like to leave this world like I came into it: Screaming, naked & covered in someone else's blood supporting member
    Asriel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southpaw
    Not wanting to fight is the least of your problems as a father. Just wait...soon you'll start tearing up when watching Disney movies. :)
    Or when reading the last Harry Potter book... *ahem*
    " The reason elite level MMAists don't fight with aikido is the same reason elite level swimmers don't swim with their lips." - Virus

    " I shocked him with my skills on the ice becuase Wing Chun is great for hockey fighting." - 'Sifu' Milt Wallace

    "Besides, as you might already know (from Virus, for example) - there's only 1 wing chun and it sucks big time" - Tonuzaba

    "Even when I'm promising mayhem and butt-chicanery, I'm generally posting with a smile on my face." - Sochin101

    "That said, if he blocked my hip on a drop nage, I would extend my leg into a drop tai Otoshi and slam him so hard his parents would die." - MTripp


  6. #6
    BudoMonkey's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Lol, too late. All this stuff I used to think was cheesy as hell gets me all misty now...it's awesome. You really see things differently.
    "This is why we are here. Because the Martial Arts for too long have been cloaked in an unnecessary level of secrecy bordering on mysticism, and its in these shadows that the cockroaches love to hide. -Phrost"

    Quote Originally Posted by Squerlli
    And of course, our resident hard man, underground fighter, kitten rescuer, loving father (I'm serious), and over all very sexy furry ************... Budo monkeh.

  7. #7

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Nothing makes a person grow up faster than fatherhood (I know, given some of the "fathers" we've all seen, it doesn't always work, but anyway...)

    You still want to compete, maybe for money. You've chosen a good middle ground: getting into the grappling side of things. Still fighting, still training hard, but not as much bashing and smashing.

    Sounds like you're realizing that a few changes have happened (and everything changes over time), and you've already made the right decision. Props and best of luck, whatever route you take from here.

  8. #8
    It is Fake's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Southpaw
    Not wanting to fight is the least of your problems as a father. Just wait...soon you'll start tearing up when watching Disney movies. :)
    Watch 300 you'll be fine.

    Oh and Godzilla movies, **** Disney.

  9. #9
    You have to work the look. supporting member
    CrackFox's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    BudoMonkey, do you get many paid fights at the moment?

  10. #10
    BudoMonkey's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Well, that's a tricky question for me. Never had a paid, sanctioned fight persay, but I wasn't really looking.

    What I have done: I've fought and won muay thai tournaments where there was a grand prize, but I was never paid to show. That's good enough for now.

    Also, about two years ago, when my son was born, I'd carved a nice little niche for myself in the local scene bare-knuckle boxing at south beath clubs, backyard, and private parties. It's kind of big in this area. Often the clubs will hold 'amateur fight nights' and it leads to people moonlighting. I was winning very consistently, but the level of my competition was not what you would find in a martial arts competition. Almost all of my fights were open-weight, and I never fought for less than $1,000, except for my first fight which was for 500. Most of the time it was straight bare-knuckle boxing, sometimes though it was an 'all-in' fight, where almost anything goes.

    I actually was able to make a steady living off that for about a year, only working as a dishwasher at a jamaican restaraunt a couple days a week to supplement. I was pulling in about 3 grand a month, all in fights. It got dangerous, and I quit when the brother of my opponent pulled a gun on the crowd.

    I realize to fight for money in a professional sense, I might have to work my way up through some un-paid tournaments and amateur fights, if that's your point. That is O.k, as long as it at least an investment towards doing this as a career. Even still, I'd like to skip right to getting paid if at all possible.
    "This is why we are here. Because the Martial Arts for too long have been cloaked in an unnecessary level of secrecy bordering on mysticism, and its in these shadows that the cockroaches love to hide. -Phrost"

    Quote Originally Posted by Squerlli
    And of course, our resident hard man, underground fighter, kitten rescuer, loving father (I'm serious), and over all very sexy furry ************... Budo monkeh.

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