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  1. #1
    Coach Josh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Lafayette, LA
    Judo, MMA, White Trash JJ
    Gladiators Academy Lafayette, LA

    How To Beat The Piss Out Of An Alien

    God's honest truth this was sent to me today from LT. X (Dr. X's brother?). This guy and Oliver are in the same boat. I loved the email's subject How To Beat The Piss Out Of An Alien. While I am a Kirk fan and know he personally had a brown belt in Judo. I really think this is a funny attempt to get someone to buy your stuff. Its really funny but at least he is drawing paralells from fantasy show to fantasy art not college to performance art school.

    Hi Josh,

    Although we rarely recognize it, mythology
    continues to be strong part of our culture.

    Folklore has evolved significantly, as America's
    legendary heroes have been frontier trappers,
    cowboys, policemen, soldiers, masked men, caped
    superheroes and science fiction men-of-action
    such as Buck Rodgers, Flash Gordon, Han Solo, and
    of course...Captain Kirk of the Starship

    Replacing Indians (the Native American kind),
    "commies", and Nazis with Aliens as the bad-guys,
    and foreign lands as undiscovered planets, from
    September 8, 1966 - September 2, 1969, Bill
    Shatner kicked extraterrestrial ass for 79
    episodes using World War II Judo and Jujutsu.

    Amazingly, with all the far-out and high-tech
    phasers, photons, and other assorted high tech
    junk they could have used to save the day, Kirk
    and his boys often reverted back to the
    hand-to-hand combat moves they must have learned
    from their great-great-great-great-great-grandfathers.
    (That, or in the future the military actually
    bought a clue and decided to start teaching what
    actually works again!)

    Now, whether you're a pointy-ear-wearin'
    "Trekkie" or not, definitely check out an episode
    or two next time your surfin' by the Sci-Fi

    You'll notice that the aliens that the crew
    encountered were often physically dominating and
    at times much larger and stronger, therefore
    calling for a smarter and more effective approach
    to combat than the wildly thrown "haymaker"

    While actual terms like close-combat, martial
    arts, Jujutsu or Judo were left out of the
    script, the knowledgeable observer will
    immediately recognize where the devastating edge
    of hand strikes, brutal kicks, and ferocious
    throws come from.

    In the famous episode "Arena", Captain Kirk has
    to fight the reptilian commander of an enemy
    vessel in one-on-one combat. Kirk attacks the
    alien with a flurry of blows including all those
    found in the WWII military combative systems we

    In "Day of the Dove", Kirk and the rest of his
    crew are pitted against Klingon warriors in
    close-combat as both sides are restricted to only
    their own respective warrior codes for guidance.

    My own personal favorite, "Bread and Circuses",
    Kirk, Spock, and McCoy use fists, swords, and
    anything and everything else they can get their
    hands on to battle technologically advanced

    Alhough there is no real Vulcan neck pinch, Gene
    Roddenberry and the others who helped to create
    Star Trek were products of a generation that knew
    how to fight. In fact, Roddenberry himself had
    law enforcement experience and piloted a B-17 in
    the Pacific during WWII.

    During this time, the United States military
    practiced hand-to-hand combat training based off
    of what was taught by W.E. Fairbairn and other
    pioneers of REAL close-combat. After the war,
    many military veterans became Hollywood stunt men
    and when fight sequences were setup, did what
    came natural to win a fight...Their training from
    actual combat.

    While many fight sequences of the 60's were still
    choreographed in the classic style of the Western
    barroom brawl, only Star Trek utilized these
    authentic, proven combat methods in the majority
    of its scenes.

    As time marched on, and the world became
    "sissified", martial arts shown in TV shows and
    films changed dramatically in order to appear
    more impressive to the audience. After all,
    nobody likes to see the hero drop his opponent in
    only a few "ugly" moves (Except for maybe Austin
    Power's recent "Judo Chop"...Edge of hand anyone?).

    No, they want high-flyin' wirework, drunken
    monkey foolishness, and ridiculous
    split-the-crotch-of-my-pants high kicks.

    But given a real, drag out, no-holds-barred,
    fight for your life, I'd put my money on Kirk and
    his "Crew" as opposed to Neo, Morpheus and the
    rest of those Matrix computer geeks any day of
    the week. (And Kirk would have beat the snot out
    of that flashlight-wielding sissy Vader too)

    Train Smart,

    Lt. X

    PS. To see even more "authentic" and "real"
    combat moves in film, go check out James Cagney
    in 1945's "Blood On The Sun". Or...If you want to
    learn these brutally effective, no-bullshit
    close-combat techniques for free, visit ==>

    And claim your free Accelerated Battlefield
    Combative training package before some rowdy
    alien does.

    To unsubscribe or change subscriber options visit:!

    [email protected]

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Fredericton, New Brunswick
    Rusty muay thai
    Heh, I liked that. At least he's a creative bullshitter.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Tampa Fl
    Uechi Ryu
    He did fail to mention, Spocks ninja death pinch! Damn, even ninjas of the future get no respect.

  4. #4
    Still digging on James Brown

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Lund, Sweden
    BJJ & Judo (1k)
    Haha, here's a clip from Blood on the sun, the film he mentions.
    The man in black needs to rethink his approach to guardpassing.

  5. #5
    Dark Overlord of the Bullshido Underworld supporting member
    Tom Kagan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    New York, NY USA
    Taai Si Ji Kung Fu
    When did Lt. X decide he wanted to start channeling Sigourney Weaver?

    Quote Originally Posted by MEGALEF
    Haha, here's a clip from Blood on the sun, the film he mentions.
    The man in black needs to rethink his approach to guardpassing.
    True, but at 1:15 he pulls off the anti-grapple.
    Last edited by Tom Kagan; 2/07/2007 1:28pm at .
    Calm down, it's only ones and zeros.

    "Your calm and professional manner of response is really draining all the fun out of this. Can you reply more like Dr. Fagbot or something? Call me some names, mention some sand in my vagina or something of the sort. You can't expect me to come up with reasonable arguments man!" -- MaverickZ

    "Tom Kagan spins in his grave and the fucking guy isn't even dead yet." -- Snake Plissken

    My Bullshido fan club threads:
    Tom Kagan's a big hairy...
    Tom Kagan can lick my BALLS
    Tom Kagan teaches _ing __un and bigotry?
    Tom Kagan: Serious discussion here
    Lamokio asks the burning question is Tom Kagan a ***** or just cruising for some
    I'm Dave the gay Kickboxer from Manchester and I have the hots for Tom Kagan
    World Dominator 'Kagan' in plot to lie about real Kung Fu and Martial Arts
    Tom Kagan just gave me my third negative rep in a day
    I am infatuated with Tom Kagan
    Tom Kagan is a fat balding white guy.

  6. #6
    HonkyTonkMan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Black Belt City, Mississippi
    TKD, BJJ
    Cool clip.

  7. #7
    Here's looking at you, squid. Join us... or die
    OnceLost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    North Florida
    Ke?po, MMA ultra-newb
    Heh, Ninja Death Squid have already fought off several alien necks, you know, so you can't get the nerve pinch locked on.
    Spaceballs, anyone?
    "What are you doing?"
    "Uh, well... I was trying to knock you out..."
    "That's not how you do it! Come on, it's higher..."
    "Like this?"
    "Yeah, just like tha-"
    "Reason is a choice. Wishes and whims are not facts, nor are they a means to discovering them. Reason is our only way to grasping reality -- it's our basic tool of survival. We are free to evade the effort of thinking, to reject reason, but we are not free to avoid the penalty of the abyss we refuse to see."
    - Terry Goodkind, "Faith of the Fallen"

  8. #8
    Guess which finger is the fickle one... supporting member
    FickleFingerOfFate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Up in your grill.
    Karate/ Arnis
    Oh my God, I'm surrounded by assholes,

    * closes helmet *

    Keep firing assholes!

  9. #9
    Guess which finger is the fickle one... supporting member
    FickleFingerOfFate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Up in your grill.
    Karate/ Arnis
    Quote Originally Posted by MEGALEF
    Haha, here's a clip from Blood on the sun, the film he mentions.
    The man in black needs to rethink his approach to guardpassing.

    Our hero pissed away a perfect RNC.


  10. #10

    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    CMA,Muay Thai ,Yudo,TKD
    I clicked on this thread hoping to find vid of one of our Bullies finally getting their hands on a Grand Celestial Do guy. :(

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