1. #1

    Join Date
    Oct 2011

    Inquisitorial Mandates and Awards

    Crime and Punishment

    • We have a grimoire of every recorded Grappling is Gay joke on a shelf in the basement. If we can find yours in the book then your post will be changed to something appropriate.
    • Broken glass is also not funny. Lava jokes are OK as long as the proper royalties have been paid to Mr. Aaron Boyd, Esq.
    • I will delete anything containing the HOW DO catchphrase. Actually, make that any tired catchphrase.
    • Gi vs. No-Gi? Do both. Any threads regarding this topic will be locked up or sent back in time.
    Last edited by Shuma-Gorath; 11/08/2007 8:13pm at . Reason: Condensing forum rules

  2. #2
    Shuma-Gorath's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    BJJ - Homeland Security
    Enemies of the State
    The following posters are being detained without trial or legal counsel until a DHS Inquisitor sees fit to release them:

    • Pizdoff
      Declared Hereticus Ineptus 580.M32
      Threat Status: At Large. Has been caught destroying evidence of his taint.

    • Hannibal
      Arch-crappler incapable of independant thought.
      For each post he manages to drool into this forum I shall inject nightmares into the very core of his feeble mind.
      Threat Status: Banished to the Warp for a thousand years

    • Kikkoman
      Part 2 of the CBJJO / IBJJF / IGJJF sanctions against the state of Maryland.
      Threat Status: Cursed to practise poomse along the Korean DMZ until the North and South reuinite.

    Last edited by Shuma-Gorath; 2/24/2008 6:29pm at .

  3. #3
    Shuma-Gorath's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    BJJ - Homeland Security
    (listed alphabetically)

    Summer 2005
    BJJ Silver Star
    For landing a flying triangle in a street fight, thereby invalidating years of enemy propaganda.

    October 12th 2006
    Department of Defence Distinguished Internet Service medal
    For exemplary constructive posting and utter domination of our enemies in a manner seldom seen in this era of Bullshido's history.

    Lee, Ben
    April 1st 2006
    BJJ Commendation Medal (Beginner)
    For exemplary creativity on the field of battle.

    June 14th 2006
    Judo Commendation Medal
    For quitting the heretical Bujinkan and waging war against those who have not seen the light.

    June 23rd 2006
    Internet Cross
    For dedicated service in the Martial Arts and complete domination of the enemy via Internet both here and abroad.
    Last edited by Shuma-Gorath; 4/06/2007 8:17pm at .

  4. #4
    Shuma-Gorath's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    BJJ - Homeland Security
    The following posts have been merged here and are considered required reading for this forum:
    Quote Originally Posted by Aesopian
    Aliveness is becoming a cliché. The term is getting worn thin, all too often a second hand idea, borrowed without its full meaning being passed on. It gets tossed around by all sides of the argument with or without real understanding. And as a result, it is losing its meaning and the importance it should hold.

    Some revile aliveness, saying there is more to martial arts than just fighting, and aliveness neglects this. Or so they imagine, since sport fighters advocate it. And sport fighters are just a bunch of thugs.

    Others pay token praise to it, and say that every seemingly dead activity they do is miraculously alive. Or so sifu tells them. And they're inclined to agree, since they got a bruise once.

    Still others are sure they train with aliveness -- they roll hard and compete, after all. And they probably do. Or maybe they don't. They don't really know, since they never actually took the time to learn what it means. They just took it for granted.

    And so the meaning of aliveness has become muddied. Few actually take the time to understand the concept as originally put forward. Which is very sad, since it means so much to everyone.

    Aliveness is not just sparring. It is not sport fighting. It is not senseless violence. It is definitely not sensei letting you trade headlocks with your little brother once you're done with your katas.

    So what is aliveness?

    Read Why Aliveness? by Matt Thornton.

    Then read it again.
    Quote Originally Posted by Aesopian
    Now for some required viewing. Matt Thornton speaking about aliveness and training methods a seminar in Denmark:


    Or on Google Videos if you prefer:


    Quote Originally Posted by Aesopian
    Simple Do's and Don'ts of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Covers what to wear, how to tap, what not to yank, basic positions and some rolling and sparring. Great for showing white belts or anyone new to BJJ.


    Produced by Combat Sports Academy Copenhagen for a free DVD given to new students.

  5. #5
    Cassius's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
    Rescued from the Abyss:

    Quote Originally Posted by Boyd
    Actually, I was going to wait a few hours to make my next post to give you ample opportunity to inform me that, contary to the contents of my previous statement, passively pulling guard is NOT an effective tactic against multiple opponents. But we can just assume that you did, or made some equally absurd non-sequiter and move on with our lives. You can thank me later.

    Contemporary attitudes of BJJ and its practioners vary wildly from person to person, but among some circles--namely psuedo-progressive hyperapologetic traditionalists TOTALLY NOT NAMING NAME THOUGH--there tend to arise certain misconceptions both about the nature of BJJ (and, as Cullion himself as made amply clear, BJJ and not submission grappling, wrestling, or Judo). These mentalities always follow a lovely, circular three-act progression, a delicate arc resembling a rainbow or the crest of a single drop of dew, perched precariously atop a sliver of glass in the early New England morn.


    Having been introduced to the key players, setting, and plot, the Psuedo-Progressive Hyper Apologetic Traditionalist (or P-PHAT, for short), will by now begin to make judgements about both the quality and intensity of training. Once he read on Bullshido.net that BJJ usually doesn't allow leglocks and begins to already shrewdly discover chinks in its armor. On another instance, he reads about how wrestlers tend to be in much better shape than BJJers. And they train in gi's! Who wears a gi in real life??? "Ah-HA!" he muses aloud, stroking his neckbeard. "I'll bet they must go home crying to their enormous framed pictures of Royce Gracie who they no doubt talk about every day in class when they think about that!" Fully equipped with the facts (and not a single actual BJJ class under his belt), P-PHAT can now make educated guesses that BJJ must be really easy and all about pulling guard and jutting out your chin and exposing your legs and whining about rulesets.


    Having made several hundred posts on Internet martial arts boards berating those vile Wastrels of ill repute that make snap judgements about Chinese Martial Arts, P-PHAT has been inadvertantly exposed to an equal number of pro-BJJ posts. He does not question BJJ's efficacy in the ring or on the street, for that would be bourgeoise, merely the training methodology. He points out that BJJ does not deal with slams, or cervical locks, or heel hooks, or (close tab: www.bullshido.net/forums. open tab: CBJJ rules) poor sportsmanship, whereas an art like, say, catch wrestling incorporates all those techniques plus their Americana is, like, a wrist lock also. But being ever open-minded, P-PHAT opts to visit a BJJ school, because "it'll blend well with my Xing Yi which is really more like boxing and we have people come in and do Kali seminars".


    During his first lesson, P-PHAT asks several passive-aggressive questions about guard slamming and knee compressions. He is shocked to discover the school has several students competing in MMA, that Judo blackbelts and collegiate wrestlers intermingle with the student body and often stay after to work takedowns. This isn't BJJ at all!!!!!!!!!!!! "But Jeff," he queries, feeling visibly uncomfortable calling an instructor by their first name, "What about the Aliveness Brigade? What about all those people that don't train MMA, that don't box? Aren't they just total pussies?"

    "I don't know what an Aliveness Brigade is, but see if you can stay in that three-stripe white belt's guard for two minutes without getting swept. Then we'll talk about striking from the guard."

    P-PHAT complies, and using the principles he was taught in Xing Yi, grunts loudly and wiggles his elbows into his opponent's thighs. He is summarily swept and armbarred.

    Now, most people could be complete retards and have this lesson banged into their heads over the course of several weeks. God knows I've met enough people that say "I could just punch you" from here and then get magically triangled thirty seconds later. But P-PHAT....he's a pretty slick fellow. And after having a 230-pound man drive his knee directly into his diaphragm for three agonizing minutes, he realizes that even in sport Jiu Jitsu, relief is not "always a tap away. " And he realizes that, after several sessions of having his limbs tied into knots and a coarse gi raked across his face and a fat man sitting on his head and his arms cranked in funny places that, indeed, not only is this tougher than it looks, but exquisitely "alive".

    After his breakfast epiphanies giggle snort, P-PHAT renounces his old ways. Although he continues taking Xing Yi, he takes pride in saying he does Jiu Jitsu. Having interacted with living, breathing BJJers, he understands that few, if any, consider sport Jiu-Jitsu equivalent to MMA. Those that train MMA consider it a valuable aspect of their training. And the whole street vs. sport thing...well, that's just asinine.

    "No. Listen to me because I know what I'm talking about here." -- Hannibal


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