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  1. #1
    JackHanma's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
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    MantisShrimpFu

    What MMA now needs

    MMA needs new packaging. Because of the "War on Terrorism" we need to starting using paramilitary terms and wearing camo. :qtank:

    Selling knives and Guns would be a nice touch as well.

    What do you suggest we should call the triangle choke? Maybe the Dynamic Leg Compression...

    Ok, what Bullshido needs to do is make a list of the regular techniques of MMA and rename them with quasi-sciencific/military terms and talk about "tactical principles" a lot.

    After we have the list, we'll pretend to be a RBSD site for a month. Perhaps we might actually save RBSD from itself! If you can't beat the paranoia, make money from it!
    Last edited by JackHanma; 11/24/2004 9:46pm at .

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    2,796
    Style
    TSK
    round # = battle #
    jab = harrassing fire
    hook = envelop
    knockout = kill
    ring = kill zone
    MMA short = battle dress skivies
    lateral movement = manuever
    punch/kick combo = combined arms assault

    loser of bout = frenchman

  3. #3
    Founder/GrandSensei of Joint British / Papua New Guinean Non-contact Lawn Bowls Jiu Jitsu Committee
    supercrap's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Least Cool Guy in all of Japan
    Posts
    2,296
    Style
    BJJ
    I think it's a stupid idea but it sounds like fun. Kind of like Orwellian doublespeak.

    Choke - Grevious Oxygenation Impairment
    Arm bar - De-calibration of elbow joint
    Takedown - Induce Unforeseen contact with the ground
    Sprawl - Preventative Base Blast
    Triangle - Equilateral Artery Disabler

    etc.
    Imports from Japan, Shipping Worldwide! Art Junkie, Scramble, BJJ Spirits, Reversal...
    Scramble Stuff

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Buenos Aires, Argentina
    Posts
    1,918
    Style
    Pimpin/Tango-thanks Xango
    Thai kick - Attack the supply line
    Boxing Cross - Reserve Strike
    Axe kick - Tactical Strike
    Pulling Guard - Sending 'hoes with STD's
    Takedown - Battlefield reformulation
    WC lineage massacre - Tautology
    Scoring a couple of points and turtling in the guard until the end of the match - Entrenched till reinforcements arrive
    Hitting the ref - Von Clauswitz
    Joining a Gracie team - OTANization
    Fighting Cro Cop - Kamikaze squad
    Canuckyokushin:

    These women can do back flips right over my head and still land on there feet .GRrrrrrrr!

    feedback:

    THAT'S NOTHING, I USED TO KNOW SOME 12 YEAR-OLDS WHO COULD FIT INSIDE A SUITCASE AND STAY ALIVE FOR 7 OR WAS IT 6 HOURS

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    247
    Style
    shorin
    Those sound like special moves in a fighting game...

  6. #6
    JackHanma's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    639
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    MantisShrimpFu
    We could claim the art was created for special Brazilian Security Personell who protect wealthy Brazilian families.

  7. #7
    JackHanma's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    639
    Style
    MantisShrimpFu
    Chokes and Strangles= Cardio-Pulmonary Interference Tactics=CPIT

  8. #8
    chaosexmachina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Calgary, Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    4,509
    Style
    MMA/Pankration
    Elbows from mount = Facial Distortion Procedure
    Sweep = Dominance Nullifying Maneuver
    Backmount = Taking the Flank
    Knees from top turtle = Shock and Awe
    "Prison is for rapists, thieves and murderers. If you lock someone up for smoking a plant that makes them happy, you're the fucking criminal." - Joe Rogan

    El Guapo says dance!

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    ADL, AU
    Posts
    2,812
    I'm not sure whether to be in awe of this thread or to call it MAS.

    Quote Originally Posted by chaosexmachina
    Elbows from mount = Facial Distortion Procedure
    Though I think this takes first prize. :icon_eek:

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Houston Tx. area
    Posts
    491
    Style
    Haganah, Boxing, MT
    lethal techniques = rendering combat inefective

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