1. #1
    Lily's Avatar
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    Coach worship - kids edition

    I see my 5 year old already idolising his male sports coach. He talks about him often at home, strives hard during class and helps his coaches pack away at the end of training (no one else does) . The coaches (male and female) seem very experienced with redirecting this energy into performance. The male coach doesn’t give any child special attention, while the female one calls my child ‘baby’ and ‘sweetie’ at times, not the other kids, just him. But my child couldn’t care less that she does that.

    What is it with the student-coach relationship that engenders such devotion from the child? Is it something that the child/person is missing from their life (if so, then i as a parent would work on that) ?
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  2. #2

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    Your kid likes their training and probably thinks the coach as a father figure. Kids do the same with school teachers they grow fond of or older people in general, family or friends or family of friends. If the coach is a good role model then its better your child sees him as a hero vs someone on tv/youtube.

  3. #3
    BKR's Avatar
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    Parents can't be great at everything. Coaching/ teaching kids at various stages of development is a specialty.

    Kids need to develop healthy relationships outside family. Your job is to guide and monitor, and do what you do best.
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  4. #4
    Dung Beatles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily View Post
    I see my 5 year old already idolising his male sports coach. He talks about him often at home, strives hard during class and helps his coaches pack away at the end of training (no one else does) . The coaches (male and female) seem very experienced with redirecting this energy into performance. The male coach doesn’t give any child special attention, while the female one calls my child ‘baby’ and ‘sweetie’ at times, not the other kids, just him. But my child couldn’t care less that she does that.

    What is it with the student-coach relationship that engenders such devotion from the child? Is it something that the child/person is missing from their life (if so, then i as a parent would work on that) ?
    As long as your coach is acting like a responsible adult, this is probably a good thing.

    Your son is creating a scaffolding out of observed behavior to model correct behavior in his mind and is learning how to be a man through observing men that are in leadership positions. It's very common for young kids to do this.

    It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong, it's just how kids learn.
    “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.” Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas 1971, Raoul Duke

  5. #5
    Diesel_tke's Avatar
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    My kids have played sports their whole lives. Everything from wrestling, soccer, gymnastics, and Lacrosse. Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't. But it's a good thing. You've heard that it takes a village to raise a child? Well, this is part of it, in my opinion. Use it to your advantage. Just consider the coach as another person helping to raise up your kid. As he gets older, this is probably going to wear off a little and he won't idolize the coach quite as much. And that's ok too. When he is a teenager, it's a good thing. While your kid is rebelling against your authority, you can use the coach to keep him moving in the right direction.

    TL:DR: you aren't doing anything wrong.
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  6. #6

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    *shrug.

    The parent here use me as the boogey man. "Do this or we'll tell Sifu/Coach". Some weird approval thing.

    Of course that's why so many people in power often abuse it.

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