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  1. #1

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    Need advice: how to help an alcoholic friend?

    I have an alcoholic friend, but she won't just acknowledge her problem. What steps should I take to help her?

  2. #2

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    Depends on how involved you want to get and how much risk you wish to place yourself at.

    The reason addiction is such a problem for society as a whole is precisely because helping, or even being near, addicts is a painful, potentially dangerous process that can end with all sorts of bad things happening to you as a result of your good intentions.

    So the first thing to think about is "Why do you want to help her?". Not just "because she's a friend." That won't do. You really need to sort out your own motivations.
    That will determine to what efforts you are willing to go in order to help.
    Outside of that, is this person in a life position where some societal authority figure can become involved? Teachers, parents, college administrators, police, social workers... so on.
    If so, seeking assistance in that area is a good start. If not, go back and get those motivations clear again, bring them back to us and we can go from there.

  3. #3

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    Step 1: Intervention type conversation. Let the person know you care about them a lot and that you don't want to see them drink their life away and not live up tot their potential. Always use words of encouragement.

    Step 2: Be there for support.

    You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. If your friend truly wants to get better your job of helping them won't be difficult. If they don't truly want to get better then this could end up consuming your life. You have to take care of yourself first and not be codependent etc. Some people end up suffering a great deal trying to help people that just aren't ready to take the steps to get better. Never put yourself out.

  4. #4

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    Give her a red grapes juice in bottle of alcohol that makes her think that she is drinking vine but in actual he drinks a juice.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by cafefino View Post
    I have an alcoholic friend, but she won't just acknowledge her problem. What steps should I take to help her?
    The best alternative is to find her problem because this is the actual reason that make her drink too much.

  6. #6
    Ulsteryank's Avatar
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    That's a hard one man. A lot of the time it takes them to hit rock bottom hard enough to where they acknowedge, and want to do something about it. It's a vicious cycle. Maybe help by never enabling them.

  7. #7

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    This is good advice. Many people who have friends with problems will end up bleeding their sanity and patience dry trying to help, only to find that it's pointless.

    Honestly, anybody who has a real alcohol problem needs professional help and friends/family are beyond being able to help.

    If you can avoid drink for 24 hours, or when you do drink you can actually stop at any point (like if you know you have to sober up to drive etc or you just don't feel like it), chances are you don't have a real problem. You can spot advanced alcoholics because they tend towards binging to oblivion and can't avoid alcohol for very long, being physically required to consume it regularly. They also talk a lot...about wanting and getting help, but in the next breath will badmouth groups like AA because "they're for different people". The shame of admitting you have a problem to friends is why AA is a group of strangers...you're often more likely to open up to strangers about your issues than to people close to you.

    And you can spot friends of alcoholics by their even-dwindling, finite amounts of patience and understanding. At a certain point, every one of us has had to effectively stop answering the phone calls and "cries for help" that are more or less the same old song as the last dozen.

    Quote Originally Posted by boldeagle67 View Post
    Step 1: Intervention type conversation. Let the person know you care about them a lot and that you don't want to see them drink their life away and not live up tot their potential. Always use words of encouragement.

    Step 2: Be there for support.

    You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. If your friend truly wants to get better your job of helping them won't be difficult. If they don't truly want to get better then this could end up consuming your life. You have to take care of yourself first and not be codependent etc. Some people end up suffering a great deal trying to help people that just aren't ready to take the steps to get better. Never put yourself out.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ulsteryank View Post
    That's a hard one man. A lot of the time it takes them to hit rock bottom hard enough to where they acknowedge, and want to do something about it. It's a vicious cycle. Maybe help by never enabling them.
    I don't believe in rock bottom anymore. I've seen too many people (especially veterans) hit what seems like the bottom, and break right through the floor to continue their plummet.

    Heart attacks, police problems, relationship problems, lost friends...24 hour intoxication...and it's still not over. Sometimes, people just want to die slow and numb.

  9. #9

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    Whats she like when shes not boozed up? Also what she like when she is?


    I’ll be honest though, i wouldnt bother unless it was my parents/brother.

    I have a meth head cousin who has done some bad and dark **** because of his addiction, everyone who tried helping him has suffered.

    I now have my close group of friends who are addicted to drugs (they pretty much are always on something apart from heroin or meth). I now have seperated myself from them and havnt seen them in a good 3 weeks. Im not going to bother helping them, they’ve called me a downer and dont want to aknowledge their addiction so now they can spiral downwards if they choose.

    Like Ace mentioned, if you really want to help. Be certain of your motivasions, it will be a struggle and seem pointless. Dont put yourself through this **** unless your reasons are bulletproof.
    Last edited by Kravbizarre; 2/27/2018 12:49am at .

  10. #10
    ghost55's Avatar
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    Your friend is just a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.

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