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  1. #1
    battlefields's Avatar
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    Enema Of The State

    I did a search, but nothing directly addressing the issue came up unless I went back to 2004 so I figured I'd put a post up that would collate this community's knowledge on the subject. I want to know if enemas are effective, or if they are just a bunch of woo-woo nonsense with pseudo-science backing.

    I'm interested because I love two things:

    1. Not being full of ****.
    2. Sticking things up my arse.

    Just kidding, I don't know what it is like not being full of ****. Metaphorically or literally.

    Anyway, my interest was first piqued waaay back in the early TUF seasons when that dude, can't remember who, was eating like he didn't have to make weight, because he was convinced that the last time he had an enema he lost X amount of pounds and kept it off because something something, water, something, absorption. At the time it seemed scientific, until he didn't make weight due to all the cake he was eating, plus he got the pleasure of having the UFC literally fund him to shove a tube up his arse. So a win? Not sure.

    That's not the point.

    I don't know about you guys, but I struggle with fringe "health" activities. Even not so fringe, like remedial massage and (depending on how you view it) chiro. My housemate reckons he feels incredible after remedial massage, loose and free of muscle soreness. Me? I feel no different.

    I even tried that float tank, sensory deprivation ****, again, had numerous reports of the benefits of it, that it made you feel completely relaxed and blah blah blah. Nothing.

    It could be that I am already a relaxed dude. It could be that my tension isn't held in my shoulders, back, or legs (likely, it is possible it is in my hands, feet, and head, I do like them getting rubbed, but I'd rather have them focus on something else, ay-yo!). I get a bit out of yoga, but I also get a lot out of stretching too, so *shrugs*.

    This year I have been on a significant amount of medication, particularly anti-biotics, so my digestive tract is likely affected. During my stint in hospital, I had scary digestive issues (those poor, poor nurses). I don't have the best diet, despite this fact slowly changing. I currently refer to going to the bathroom as "unleashing", and admonish myself when leaving for being a "sick, sick man".

    The reality is that I don't particularly want to spend money to have someone stick a hose up my arse if there is little to no benefit. Anyone had any experience, or know if the science is real or bullshit?
    GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devil View Post
    I think Battlefields and I had a spirited discussion once about who was the biggest narcissist. We both wanted the title but at the end of the day I had to concede defeat. Can't win 'em all.
    Quote Originally Posted by BackFistMonkey View Post
    I <3 Battlefields...

  2. #2
    submessenger's Avatar
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    I think that in recent decades, the whole enema thing has become relegated to quack science, except for when they need you to do it ahead of colonoscopy or other similar procedures. I think, in fact, that some of the science has shown that cleansing can actually remove natural bacteria which aids with normal digestion. I'll see what I can find, because I've been wanting a high colonic, too.

    WebMD has a pretty good start: https://www.webmd.com/balance/guide/...s-it-necessary

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    Take a strong diuretic then donít consume solid food for 24hrs, same effect and no tubes up your bum?

  4. #4
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    Nothing is stuck in the digestive system of any remotely healthy person. The inside of your intestines is made similar to the inside of your mouth. What's the longest you've had anything stuck to your cheek, for example? That's less time than anything would stick in your intestines, since it will have been... processed, we'll say, by that point.

    That said, you want to stick stuff in your ass, go nuts, just go slow, use lots of lubricant, and don't pretend it's for health reasons.
    "Systema, which means, 'the system'..."

    Quote Originally Posted by strikistanian View Post
    DROP SEIONAGI ************! Except I don't know Judo, so it doesn't work, and he takes my back.
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    Why is it so goddamn hard to find a video of it? I've seen videos I'm pretty sure are alien spacecraft. But still no good Krav.
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    At the point, I must act! You see my rashguard saids "Jiu Jitsu vs The World" and "The World" was standing in front me teaching Anti-Grappling in a school I help run.
    [quote=SoulMechanic]Thank you, not dying really rewarding in more ways than I can express.[/[quote]

  5. #5
    BackFistMonkey's Avatar
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    *sigh*

    You might get good information on the topic by interacting with your local Kink/BDSM scene.
    ďI don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.Ē
    BILL HICKS,
    1961-1994

  6. #6
    battlefields's Avatar
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    I like to keep my kink separate from science.
    GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devil View Post
    I think Battlefields and I had a spirited discussion once about who was the biggest narcissist. We both wanted the title but at the end of the day I had to concede defeat. Can't win 'em all.
    Quote Originally Posted by BackFistMonkey View Post
    I <3 Battlefields...

  7. #7
    submessenger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lant3rn View Post
    Take a strong diuretic then donít consume solid food for 24hrs, same effect and no tubes up your bum?
    Use a magnesium based laxative. Ignore the recommended dose if this is your first time, use half that. Take a liter or three of water during the next several hours, and woooosh! Try not to get any on the ceiling.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by submessenger View Post
    Use a magnesium based laxative. Ignore the recommended dose if this is your first time, use half that. Take a liter or three of water during the next several hours, and woooosh! Try not to get any on the ceiling.
    Yah I meant laxative my bad. You can combine the laxative with diuretic for last day weight cutting.. I have seen this done but I’m not sure how good it is for your health.

  9. #9
    BKR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by submessenger View Post
    Use a magnesium based laxative. Ignore the recommended dose if this is your first time, use half that. Take a liter or three of water during the next several hours, and woooosh! Try not to get any on the ceiling.
    That's what you do before a colonoscopy, essentially, plus a bit of fasting and diet restrictions.
    https://www.webmd.com/colorectal-can...-colonoscopy#1

    Like you wrote, no need to stick anything up your butt, the colonoscopy prep procedures work like a charm.

    Not that it made me feel any better, other than not having any polyps or other colon problems.
    Falling for Judo since 1980

    "You are wrong. Why? Because you move like a pregnant yak and talk like a spazzing 'I train UFC' noob." -DCS

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  10. #10

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    Hooray, for colon health!

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