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  1. #1
    Lampa's Avatar
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    New York MMA Examiner
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    The celebrity stalker (long post)

    So, I used to be an active member of this community who now adays just drops in once a year to tell a crazy story- and this one is the nuttiest, by far. Unfortunately, I'm an ancillary player in this one and I promised to remove any identifying information from the tale for the privacy of my family that is involved. I understand this makes an already strange story fairly unverifiable, but you'll just have to take my word for some of this until enough time passes that I can release details:

    So, my girlfriend's mother was once the head of a B-list celebrity's fan club and stalked him all over the country. This is a celebrity that everyone here is probably familiar with, but, since he's always a bit-player, you would all probably be surprised that he's got a long-time, heavily devoted fan base.

    Side note: My girlfriend and I have been living together for quite some time. It's more of a wifey situation as far as my level of exposure to her family.

    Anyways, so, this celebrity starts having some problems at home and starts talking to the head of his fan club, my girlfriend's mother, both online and in person. The other members of the fandom, all ladies with some issues, from what I can tell, turned on her for having real contact with their idol. My girlfriend's mother had to put in a concerted effort to hide herself and her online presence, but still, apparently, talked with this B-list celebrity.

    Fast-forward to today. Mr. Celebrity is having a rough time of things. He's gotten a reputation for being hard to work with and has been kicked or phased out of any of his well-known projects. I find out that he's used what we can only guess is some kind of keystroke logger to gain remote access to my girlfriend's mother's computer and pick up all kinds of personal information.

    He's been making threatening statements and apparently is in the middle of some kind of meltdown. He used his remote access to also look up my girlfriend and her two sisters: He saw that one of them had some nasty things to say about him and defensively responded that she was "some kind of nerd."

    Anyhoo, from here it probably sounds more scary than amusing, except that exactly who this dude is makes it so absurd it's hard to take seriously: the washed up old dude from some of my favorite low-rent action movies. And the situation isn't quite resolved- it could just as easily peter out to nothing as it could end with a fistfight whose circumstances are worthy of a Seinfeld episode. I just needed to share on account of this feels kind of bonkers.

  2. #2
    ghost55's Avatar
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    Steven Seagal has a fan club?

  3. #3

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Do you want me to beat his ass? I can take Jeff Speakman.

  4. #4
    Lampa's Avatar
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    New York MMA Examiner
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Holy Moment View Post
    Do you want me to beat his ass? I can take Jeff Speakman.
    Swing and a miss. Though now I'm not sure if that would be better than the real guy.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lampa View Post
    Swing and a miss. Though now I'm not sure if that would be better than the real guy.
    In that case, I've got a spiked ring with Richard Harrison's name on it.

  6. #6
    JohnnyCache's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lampa View Post
    Swing and a miss. Though now I'm not sure if that would be better than the real guy.
    I got a real lorenzo llamas vibe off your story


  7. #7
    ermghoti's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Gary Busey?
    Michael Ironside?
    Roger Corman?
    "Systema, which means, 'the system'..."

    Quote Originally Posted by strikistanian View Post
    DROP SEIONAGI ************! Except I don't know Judo, so it doesn't work, and he takes my back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devil
    Why is it so goddamn hard to find a video of it? I've seen videos I'm pretty sure are alien spacecraft. But still no good Krav.
    Quote Originally Posted by Plasma
    At the point, I must act! You see my rashguard saids "Jiu Jitsu vs The World" and "The World" was standing in front me teaching Anti-Grappling in a school I help run.
    [quote=SoulMechanic]Thank you, not dying really rewarding in more ways than I can express.[/[quote]

  8. #8
    Bneterasedmynam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Holy Moment View Post
    Do you want me to beat his ass? I can take Jeff Speakman.
    I want proof of this statement, you must now challenge Speakman to a fight via Facebook errr if he's on Facebook.

  9. #9
    Bneterasedmynam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ermghoti View Post
    Gary Busey?
    Michael Ironside?
    Roger Corman?
    Busey would just be sad, also more like "C" class celebrity.

  10. #10
    Bneterasedmynam's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Is it Michael Biehn??

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