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  1. #21

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Edinburgh, UK
    Quote Originally Posted by It is Fake View Post
    The guy who wrote this? LOL.

    ...but Patty Cake is better? LOL
    Feckin' hell. I had to stop reading when he called spitting, pinching and fish-hooking "the most effective [techniques]".
    The self-delusion is strong with him.

  2. #22

    Join Date
    May 2010
    Aahahhaha I forgot about that one. Oh man....between orifices and biting, his essay had me in stitches.

    Where would martial arts comedy be without chunners....god bless 'em.

  3. #23
    ermghoti's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Huh. The early UFC was far more permissive than the current ruleset, including almost everything on that idiotic 2 d34dI33 laundry list.

    To wit:
    Butting with the head
    (head-butting is a widespread technique in the street!)
    Eye gouging
    (jabs to the eyes are very effective, e.g. in groundfighting)
    IF you are in a postion to gouge the eyes, which you won't be if you havn't been working on grappling.
    (biting comes from our primate ancestry, and is even quite common amongst boxers)
    Only highly skilled WT practitioners can bite in a fight. Don't try this at home.
    Hair pulling
    (even children do this in the school playground, don\'t they?)
    Putting a finger into any orifice
    (normal behaviour in a real fight)
    Groin attacks
    (normal behaviour in a real fight)
    Small joint manipulation (e.g. finger)
    (bending an opponent\'s finger back e.g. to release a grab is normal)
    Striking to the spine or the back of the head
    (anybody who turns away must expect this)
    Striking downward using the point of the elbow
    (part of our normal repertoire, e.g. if a freestyle wrestling attack seeks to take our legs out from under us)
    Throat strikes of any kind, including grabbing the trachea
    (only attacks to the neck have a fight-stopping effect against a physically superior opponent)
    (even ladies do this)
    Grabbing the clavicle
    (damaging the clavicle is normal practice in kung-fu)
    Kicking or kneeing the head of a grounded opponent
    (this is the 5th phase of today\'s ritualised combat in the street)
    Kicking to the kidney with the heel
    (an obvious target on the ground)
    Author has no idea what this rule refers to
    Spiking an opponent to the canvas on his head or neck
    (happens during almost every throw)
    Throwing an opponent out of the ring or fenced area
    (in a real fight, the opponent is thrown against radiators or downstairs)
    Cage. The only fighters that can hurl a grown man out of a cage turn green when they are angry. Dumbass.
    Spitting at an opponent
    (not uncommon in ritualised combat)
    Teh Deadly saliva, oh noes!
    Using abusive language in the ring or fenced area
    (this is how ritualised combat starts)
    Teh deadly taunting, oh noes
    Attacking during or on the break
    (fights in the street continue to the bitter end, with no breaks)
    No breaks in early UFC, dumbass
    Attacking an opponent who is under the care of the referee
    (there is no referee to protect us in the street)
    An opponent under the care of a referee had already lost, dumbass.
    Attacking an opponent after the bell has sounded the end of a round
    (there are no bells out there, only the ones ringing in your head)
    As above. Two bells. One start, one finish.
    Avoiding contact with an opponent
    (sensible behavior in the real world ...)
    Teh deadly RUN AWAY... actually, that's a pretty good idea. One point for the dumbass.
    Third-party interference
    (this is to be expected in a real fight)
    If you can't beat one guy...
    The bolded quoted techniques were all legal originally. Yet, the early UFC was dominated by grappling to a far greater degree than today's UFC. All the deadly in the world is ineffective against a better fighter. Dumbass.

    And the fascination with "ritualized combat..." pure idiocy, the most easily avoidable violence. "Oh, sorry man, you're right." Problem solved.
    "Systema, which means, 'the system'..."

    Quote Originally Posted by strikistanian View Post
    DROP SEIONAGI ************! Except I don't know Judo, so it doesn't work, and he takes my back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devil
    Why is it so goddamn hard to find a video of it? I've seen videos I'm pretty sure are alien spacecraft. But still no good Krav.
    Quote Originally Posted by Plasma
    At the point, I must act! You see my rashguard saids "Jiu Jitsu vs The World" and "The World" was standing in front me teaching Anti-Grappling in a school I help run.
    [quote=SoulMechanic]Thank you, not dying really rewarding in more ways than I can express.[/[quote]

  4. #24

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    I was impressed with Wing Chun secret wepon which cannot be used in the UFC.................Name calling

    That its TMA are awesome for realising this, **** Judo im off to find the nearest blue collar debate team
    Last edited by Nickosaurus; 12/01/2012 6:30pm at . Reason: removing swears

  5. #25
    Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn supporting member
    XXIV's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Mount Olive, NJ
    Jits [2 Stripe White]
    Ah good gravy man! I knew my training repertoire was off.. Some jerk Chunner comes up to me in the street(TM), amidst the steaming lava flows and gardens of used and shared syringes. We throw down on the concrete and glass - I have the upper hand, a dominant position but NO! NO!!!

    My weakness!

    He starts cursing at me while poking my orbicularis oculi with rapacious intent to steal my retinas. Names like 'doody head' and 'salmon sucking **** spitter' are thrown in a volley of verbal vitriol. All the combat in the world can't save me now - I am paralyzed by this barbaric form of ritualized combat that dates back to our primate ancestors. I lay there, helpless as he pokes my eye sockets and hooks his fingers into my nose repeatedly while stomping my lady bits.

    If only I had trained in the art of taunting.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nickosaurus View Post
    I was impressed with Wing Chun secret wepon which cannot be used in the UFC.................Name calling

    That its TMA are awesome for realising this, **** Judo im off to find the nearest blue collar debate team

  6. #26

    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    We're still primates, that's the thing that bothered me that no one has mentioned yet.

  7. #27

    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Brazilian Jiu - Jitsu
    damn man, those were masters of wing chun! not even jackie chan can fight like them!
    and i was wasting time watching chinese movies....

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