1. #1
    Tenebrous's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006

    On proper knife handling.

    I was opening a package with a overly large knife today, when it snagged on something, cut free just as suddenly, and went into my leg. I think my dad always used to tell me to cut away from myself. At 30 I remember about 50% of the time. Maybe by 60 I will remember every time.

    I had, as a reflex, pulled it back out as fast as it went it, So I was stuck staring at an inch long hole in my shin. It went in mostly sideways, so while nothing important was damaged, it does gush decently, and does not fit together. So stiches are expensive, and I don't really care about scars anymore. It's a shin, and I'm not really frightened by the sight of my own blood anymore. I have been injured too many times over the last half a decade for that to really be frightening.

    So the skin flap comes away with the tissue paper. And I wonder whether it didn't hurt because the nerves are damaged from years of sporratic attempts to learn muay thai, or whether near daily randori has bludgeoned the squeemish out of me. In any case, it has certainly made me a much calmer person, so I decide to stop wondering why this doesn't bother me as much as it should and patch this thing together. Then I think, I was sitting cross legged, at least my shin was in front of my testicles. My shin seems fine by comparrison.

    We don't have any medical supplies. "What would mcguyver do," I ask myself. He'd clean this bitch out with something with some nearby thing with decent alcohol content. What do desperate drunks reach for? My shin won't be getting gingivitis any time soon. And when I feel nothing, I figure that it's more dead nerves than manliness in action, after all.

    So I shave the hair off my my lower leg. Apply the old tube of ointment fished from the back of a drawer. Strap a maxipad over it, and sports tape the lower half of my leg until it looks like a roman sandal.

    Now I can focus on the more important things, like being a little smug about being slightly less of a wuss than years prior, and choking people without bleeding through my pants. I can't help but think the me from a decade ago would have been paralyzed, and that he probably only remembered to cut away from himself a quarter of the time, so who cares what he thinks?
    I'm picturing you drooling onto the keyboard as you type, one eye rotating independent of the other as your hands mash the keys. - Sophist

  2. #2
    money's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Huntsville, AL
    BJJ, MT, MMA, 9mm
    You should be more careful. Also, this thread is worthless without pics.

  3. #3
    Permalost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    San Diego
    street paddleboarding
    My dad used to install carpet, and when I was a kid I saw him come home with all kind of Macguyver'd solutions to cuts. It's the razorbladinest job I've seen. One day there was a piece of carpet insulation wrapped in duct tape around his arm.

  4. #4
    Mr.Miyagi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Brisbane, Australia
    Make sure you keep that sucker clean, though. Sepsis sucks.
    Daniel: I don't know if I know enough karate.

    Miyagi: Feeling correct.

    Daniel: You sure know how to make a guy feel confident.

    Miyagi: You trust the quality of what you know, not quantity.

  5. #5
    ChenPengFi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Hung Gar, Choy Lay Fut
    Butterfly that sucker with some tape.
    Alternately the super glue thing works when it's not bleeding.


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