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August is TUF Noobs Suck Month!

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    August is TUF Noobs Suck Month!

    You know the guy, he's the jerk at your gym with the whole TapouT ensemble who's never trained a day in his life. Or he's the kid in your class who's under the impression that he's tough because he watches Pride reruns on FSN. But most likely he's the pimply, morbidly obese guy posting commentary on YouTube videos about "Chuck Lytell" and how he'd "Armbar the heck out of "Rampage Quinton", or how some washed up kung fu douchebag desperately holding a headlock from bottom mount was "using a guillotine choke".

    Don't get us wrong, we love new fans of the sport. I'm always trying to recruit people to watch UFC events over at my house and drag them to local shows in support of the sport. But we're not talking about casual or even hardcore fans here. We're talking about what happens when you combine an unchecked enthusiasm for something you don't fully understand, with the powerful communication medium of the Internet.

    You get people who talk out of their ass, thinking they know everything about Mixed Martial Arts because they watched Gabe Rudiger stick a tube up his. The worst offenders are those who feel that because they post on an MMA forum frequented by real fighters, that somehow their toughness rubs off on them.

    These are TUF Noobs. It's not just that they started following the sport because they saw an episode of The Ultimate Fighter. It's that they're jackasses in general who wouldn't be following the sport if we were still in the "Banned from Pay Per View" days where dedicated fans (almost all of whom either trained, or were fighters themselves), kept it alive on forums like the UG.

    For those of you who are just fans, who don't or can't train, we're glad you're aboard. Just keep this in mind though: watching something on TV doesn't make you tough. Going to MMA shows doesn't make you tough. Wearing TapouT, Sprawl, or Full Contact Fighter gear doesn't make you tough. What makes you tough is getting your ass on the mat 3, 5, 7 days a week; getting humbled by those who are better than you, and learning first hand exactly what it takes to get in that cage and fight.

    Training is the anti-TUF Noob. It keeps you from yelling stupid crap at fight shows ("kick him in the face woooo" when the guy's on the ground). It keeps you from being one of the asshats who boos when a fight goes to the ground. And it just makes you a better fan in general.

    So if you're a TUF Noob, own up to it, get your ass to a legitimate school that trains fighters, and stop shitting up our sport.

    Thanks.
    Attached Files

    #2
    Hell yes.

    I see these guys everywhere. In fact just last week I had two of them sitting behind me when I was at a local MMA event.

    From what I heard they only knew one word:

    Elbow.

    It was used in a variety of ways, such as "ELLLLLLLL-BOW" and "EHL-BO!" I also found it suprising that these masters of the cage that the elbow was good at any range. When the bell for each round would start they'd immediatly shout "ELBOW!!!" for all three rounds of all 14 fights.

    When the fight went to the ground, they started alternating between booing and shouting elbow. Oh yeah, and the people nex to them just had to point out how the fighters "sucked" and were "wussies".

    Comment


      #3
      I remember when I first got introduced to the sport of MMA. I never competed in it, and I don't pretend to be an expert fighter. (I actually try to avoid fights when ever possible).

      It was summer of 2006. I met this kid who said that he was doing judo. At the time, I was still under the mistaken impression that TKD could work in a real situation. So, we decided to spar. Guess who won? Not me.

      Later, that month, I was at the book store where I saw a book called "Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Theory and Technique". I bought the book, and and immediately started to read. Now before this point, I had heard of these competitions where participants didn't just wrestle, or box, or spar, but actually fought each other. I didn't know much about it, but my dad was happy to tell me how it was like "Roman Gladiators", and the "Lowest level of human kind".

      However, this was not the image of MMA that the book painted. The book depicted MMA to be a contest of styles (though it has evolved beyond that these days). Having an open mind I went on youtube and watched a few MMA clips. It was on that day that I became a big MMA fan. It was also on this day that I finally figured out what real martial arts was.

      A few days later I stumbled on this forum while looking for MMA videos and immediately signed up. I am planning on taking up judo when I go to college.

      Comment


        #4
        I don't think we have TUF noobs in England. I haven't met anyone outside of the internet that watches TUF apart from me.

        Comment


          #5
          Yeah, wanna-be tough asses that think they know shit about Pride, UFC, or MMA in general suck.

          Unfortunately, I haven't had the chance to go round and give any of the ones I know an ass beating, considering that my mom thinks I'll be going to a good colelge so she's expecting me to raise my GPA...

          asdfjkadklf

          I don't think mum understands that I'll be more interested in training than studying when in college.
          GUIZ THIS IS LIEK MY SIGNACHOOR LOLOL

          :icon_roll

          Comment


            #6
            What about the, "yeah I train a few hours a week, but I suck and the average girl scout still pins me 2 out of 3." TUF noob?

            Or am I next month?

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              #7
              Originally posted by krazy kaju
              I don't think mum understands that I'll be more interested in training than studying when in college.

              Training rocks, but you might want to rethink that strategy. Otherwise you'll end up working a blue collar job - 60 hours a week because you need the overtime. No time to train, because your efforts to feed yourself and your family have left you exhausted. Or, you can have a white collar job, work 40 hours a week for more money, and have plenty of time and energy left for training.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by seanyseanybean
                I don't think we have TUF noobs in England. I haven't met anyone outside of the internet that watches TUF apart from me.
                Well it's not so much people who watch TUF as noobs to the sport in general who think they're tough.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by seanyseanybean
                  I don't think we have TUF noobs in England. I haven't met anyone outside of the internet that watches TUF apart from me.
                  yeah I think their natural habitat is the internet. In person you can clearly see that they've never trained, so they shut their mouths and try to blend in.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by devil
                    Training rocks, but you might want to rethink that strategy. Otherwise you'll end up working a blue collar job - 60 hours a week because you need the overtime. No time to train, because your efforts to feed yourself and your family have left you exhausted. Or, you can have a white collar job, work 40 hours a week for more money, and have plenty of time and energy left for training.
                    Jesus Christ... MUM! I didn't know you're an MMA fan too!

                    LOL :laughing7

                    I'm still trying to figure that part out now.

                    I have something like a 3.1 or 3.2 overall GPA, I would have like a 3.3 or 3.5 if I didn't screw up and get a 2.8 and 2.9 (or was it 2.5 and 2.8? lol) my freshman year.

                    In any case, I'll probably end up going to Michigan State or somewhere decent like that anyways.

                    I'm pretty good at procrastinating anyways... Usually, during wrestling season, practice doesn't end till like 6:30 and I still manage to get most everything done. I'd be guessing it's going to be a lot different/harder in college though...
                    GUIZ THIS IS LIEK MY SIGNACHOOR LOLOL

                    :icon_roll

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by HappyOldGuy
                      What about the, "yeah I train a few hours a week, but I suck and the average girl scout still pins me 2 out of 3." TUF noob?

                      Or am I next month?
                      I think we're next month.
                      Mushi mo atsui hodo
                      Mushiatsui

                      Originally Posted by chuey
                      ...Well fuck if that isn't the most anti-Mr. Miyagi shit I have heard in ages.

                      Two wrongs don't make a right, but
                      Three rights make a left.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Good choice this month. I had a friend that was all about the UFC in the early days and he would play me the bootlegged tapes he bought off of someone in New York. I didn't really understand it then, although I did appreciate it to some extent. Years later after he had been wrestling for the school and doing other grappling arts I told him that I could keep him off of me with my jab...and I couldn't. After getting pinned and submitted a fair number of times by a guy who I had thirty pounds on and seven or eight inches I took another look at what he was preaching. So if it weren't for my friend I might be a TUF noob too (without thinking I was tough though).

                        I do take solace in the fact that I never bought into the TKD, Ninjitsu or kung fu mythos however.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          These guys are my favorites:

                          Start BJJ in January. By mid-February, have their MySpace page decorated like they're a pro fighter, complete with full TapOut regalia and pictures of themselves in all their rashguard glory. Don't forget 150 UFC fighters on their friends list.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            I felt like a bit of a poser when I bought my first Tapout shirt a week or two ago. I bought it a month after I started Muay Thai, and now I'll be training in BJJ alongside MT for 5 or 6 days a week so now I don't feel like a friggin wannabe.

                            I started training because I like MMA and wanted to lose weight. So far I've lost 25 pounds in two months but I am nowhere near looking cut. I still find it funny seeing those fat drunk dudes in the stands of UFC fights thinking they're bad because they're wearing a Tapout shirt or Punishment Athletics jersey flashing for the camera. :qleft5:

                            Comment


                              #15
                              LOL. Reminds me of an interaction I had with one of my students recently (I teach massage therapy). When he heard I liked the UFC and train a (very) little bit, he came over, practically sputtering with glee...

                              Him: "UFC, blah, blah! This stuff is sooooo coooool!!! Whats yer favorite submission?"
                              Me (shitty grappler): "Favorite submission? Uh, well, um.... I can sometimes get the tap with an armbar, and, uh, the rear naked choke is great if you can take their back. Uh, whats your favorite submission?" (assuming by his enthusiasm and athletic build that he trains too)
                              Him (glowing with pride): the GOGOLPLATA!!!!
                              Me: "WTF? No one uses that!"

                              Looking at his thick frame, I could tell there was no way in hell he was flexible enough to pull such a thing. Then I rememberd that Diaz had tapped Gomi with an amazing gogoplata the previous weekend and it all fell into place.
                              "You know what I like about you, William? You like guns AND meditation."

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