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BJJ Practitioners Take On the Yellow Bamboo

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    BJJ Practitioners Take On the Yellow Bamboo

    No doubt you have all heard of Yellow Bamboo, the self proclaimed self-development, protection, healing and white magic non-profit association (1) based in Bali, which boasts over 30,000 (unconfirmed) practitioners worldwide. Proponents of Yellow Bamboo (YB from now on) claim that performing certain exercises in order to cultivate and direct your "chi" grants the practitioner powers that can only be described as magic, and that include levitation, longevity, healing, and, last but not least, the ability to knock down an aggressor from a distance, without making any contact. For those interested, you can take a look at what a part of their training routine looks like here.

    In addition to making such extraordinary claims, YB practitioners are notorious for spamming internet communities dedicated to the practice of martial arts of all sorts in order to attract more converts into their organization. This practice has led to a number of internet confrontations and challenges, as it usually is the case with such things, none of them have ever been carried through from the interenet to real life; until now, that is.

    What started as a series of discussion on the usenet group rec.martial-arts, spanning at least a couple of years of heated debate, has finally matured into a physical test of these supposedly magical powers, announced in a post here.

    Two Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu practitioners from Australia (THEMAD1 and GreenStar) have stepped forward to challenge their local YB representative to prove once and for all that no-touch or Chi knockouts are, and have always been, complete and utter bullshit. The test was set up as follows. The YB practitioner assumes a stance on the sand and is given time to prepare his Chi in accordance with YB practices. The challenger then runs 20 feet across the sand and attacks the YB practitioner. As the challenger is making his run, the YB practitioner has to effectively disable or deflect him using his chi. Here's how it played out.


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    1) www.yellowbamboo.com
    Attached Files
    Last edited by HAPKO3; 2/10/2005 12:10pm, .

    #2
    My spelling and grammar suck, so please make whatever corrections you need and post as news.
    Last edited by HAPKO3; 2/09/2005 4:10pm, .

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      #3
      I request that they be called bambookoonas or whatever that guy called his fellow gotards.

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        #4
        Sadly your english-fu is better than mine.

        I would change the first bit "No doubt you have all heared of Yellow Bamboo", no reason to assume people know about them. Along the same lines, if you say "so obviously it follows", it usually doesn't.
        Just deleting up to "Yellow Bamboo" from the first sentence should be sufficient..

        Where's Wastrel? This is his bailiwick.

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          #5
          Phrost, will this do?

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            #6
            I think you spelled "until" "untill".

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              #7
              Nice.

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                #8
                Yeah. Going to dig up and add a picture in there, but other than that, it's great.

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                  #9
                  That's great Hapko3, an awesome find. Those YB guys crack me up. YYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

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                    #10
                    PWNED! Good Post.

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                      #11
                      that's awesome. my only complaint is that the bjj guys sprinted up to the YB guys - i would have taken a leisurely stroll (or maybe the moonwalk?) , and then just stood right in front of them for a moment before taking them down.

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                        #12
                        Can someone rerun it through the spell checker and edit it. (Just because it is on the front page).

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                          #13
                          They gave them a lot more than 20 feet. Looked more like 50-100 feet. 20 feet is surprisingly little.

                          Just a nitpick, since there wasn't much left to be said. What can you say?

                          The most priceless moment, to me, is the second time the slimmer YBer got up after being choked. He spreads his hands and appeals to the Giver of Answers to explain to him why his Chi failed to protect him. He looks like he's honestly mystified.

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                            #14
                            Yellow Bampoo. Good post, I like the end..."They're losers!" lol

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                              #15
                              Yep, real damn hard to argue with that.
                              And that's when I figured out that tears couldn't make somebody who was dead alive again. There's another thing to learn about tears, they can't make somebody who doesn't love you any more love you again. It's the same with prayers. I wonder how much of their lives people waste crying and praying to God. If you ask me, the devil makes more sense than God does. I can at least see why people would want him around. It's good to have somebody to blame for the bad stuff they do. Maybe God's there because people get scared of all the bad stuff they do. They figure that God and the Devil are always playing this game of tug-of-war game with them. And they never know which side they're gonna wind up on. I guess that tug-of-war idea explains how sometimes, even when people try to do something good, it still turns out bad.

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