Diary of a College Samurai

[Robstafarian]

My thread has officially been hijacked.

Except that everyone is in awe of your work, a new entry will instantly recover the thread.

[Ronin.74]

I can picture some scrawny 18 yr old white kid with a pony tail, slurping noodles and beating the dolphin while he watches Samurai Champloo or Inuyasha or Naruto or whatever other anime Samuari/Ninja dvd he get his hands on, until like 4 in the morning.

I think the delusions of this characer are even greater than that of the ninja, I can't wait for the next installment.

[plasma]

Not to nitpick, but maybe he only thinks he could make clean cuts through these things?
In the real world, trying to cut bike tires, basketballs and even soda cans cleanly with the United Cutlery stuff would result in high frustration. It's not the steel; the blade geometry sucks and it takes some skill to make clean cuts on difficult targets. Clean cuts through basketballs, for instance, would actually be very impressive.

I hate people who tell Shinkengata what to do, but I'd love to hear about what happens when Sephiroph tries to demonstrate his cutting skills in front of people.

I believe, due to his arrogance he believes his own lies, (come on, 8 bokkens broken over him?!). Therefore, it will up to the reader to figure out what is true and what his demented samurai imagination.

[Bluto Blutarsky]

great stuff, I think so far you have surpassed the original.

I'd be curious to see if he ends up sparring with a real sword group.

Keep em' coming.

[Shinkengata]

Day 9

Dear diary,


I went to the doctor today after i fell ill on monday night. He informed me that i had contracted a foodborne illness due to undercooked or uncooked meat. I think this is a lie, because grandmaster taught me years ago that a samurai develops his sixth sense by eating raw and uncooked food. Maybe it is merely my body getting used to eating food the way a warrior should.

I attended the local flea market and purchased katana for my students, blessed them and named them, and presented them today. I procured some rather long carpet-roll tubes from the local flooring business, and we spent the entire class practicing tameshigiri. One student practiced a forward roll with his sword, and the sword slipped from his grip, flew, and sliced open his partner's achilles tendon. He lay there bleeding and in pain, and i reminded him that if he accepted defeat and succumbed to the pain, he must kill himself in shame. This sparked his motivation and he resumed class. There are pretty blossoming bloodstains on the carpet now. I am quite pleased.

What i am not pleased with, however, are the students forgetfulness in addressing me as "Oni-Sensei". I am supremely insulted everytime i am referred to as Sephiroth, or Kenneth (my birth name). I choose to no longer use my birth name, because it is american and i am chosen nihongo.

I discovered that there is a beautiful female who lives in the apartment dwelling next to me. I like to sit outside and await her emergence from her dwelling, and meditate...and i sound off a loud Love Kiai to spark her interest and draw her in when she comes outside. She hasn't yet spoken to me, other than to ask me "What the fuck are you yelling about?". She will soon succumb to the Love Kiai, and i will take her and show her my tachi, then we will watch Final Fantasy and eat Ramen noodles while she brushes my hair and does my topknot for me.

A samurai dreams.....

Until we meet again, Diary.

[plasma]

Day 9

One student practiced a forward roll with his sword, and the sword slipped from his grip, flew, and sliced open his partner's achilles tendon. He lay there bleeding and in pain, and i reminded him that if he accepted defeat and succumbed to the pain, he must kill himself in shame. This sparked his motivation and he resumed class. There are pretty blossoming bloodstains on the carpet now. I am quite pleased.

Holy Fuck!

[Master Bait]

greatness!


.... Keep it coming!

[datdamnmachine]

Damn, I see some domestic violence issues with this particular one.

Loud "Kiais" don't get the ladies, unless you practice the Kwon Do from what I hear!

[Master Bait]

Sounds like one of my first NCO's. My last set was pretty cool actually. We used to spend a lot of time on our site doing nothing so our NCO's got tired of it and started coming back to the barracks(our barracks didn't have our offices for the company there like my previous unit) and just relax til last formation once all our work was complete. If there was anything extra that needed doing, we would only get those people involved. Help cut down on a lot of the bullsh*t stress of the military.

PLEASE stop hijacking this thread!

I want to read about our Samurai. Start your own damn thread if you want to talk about military.


....( oh, and thanks for serving and protecting freedom)

[datdamnmachine]

PLEASE stop hijacking this thread!

I want to read about our Samurai. Start your own damn thread if you want to talk about military.


....( oh, and thanks for serving and protecting freedom)

That was something I was going to write but left for lunch and submited by mistake when I came back. I edited it just for you. Because I care.

[johnny3443]

New guy here, just thought I'd say that this is a great thread. Keep 'em coming. Thanks -john

[polishillusion]

I believe, due to his arrogance he believes his own lies, (come on, 8 bokkens broken over him?!). Therefore, it will up to the reader to figure out what is true and what his demented samurai imagination.

Common, its not like like he had a samuri battle with a moving train or a city bus or suv or something and claimed to have gotten hit and survived. that would just be silly.

[Ronin.74]

Holy Fuck!

My thoughts exactly.

[Airman Kai]

Sorry for staring that random tangent, please continue.:eusa_sile

[Metsudragon]

Haha, the price tag for the sword bit made me lol