Diary of a College Samurai

[Shinkengata]

Day 32

Dear Diary,


Now that my hand is healed, im able to write and pleasure myself again. Feels very lovely to do both.

The Judo school continues to harrass me, calling me such names as the aforementioned "Brokeback Bushi" "Samurace"(Pronounced "Samu-rochi")and taunting me with my defeat with addages such as "Elton John over there got pwned by a Ninja!!"

It's incredibly humiliating, but it teaches me patience and tempers my resolve. I will get this Ninja in good time, the filthy dog. I've spread caltrops beneath the windows...a trick i once learned from a Ninja. This plan backfired slightly a few days ago when i woke up and went to the window to pray to the Sun Kami. Needless to say i was awakened with a speed and force that coffee could not hope to match.

I've begun to work and raise the levels of Demon Hunter, and increase his Oni powers so i may be able to perform longer and more powerful combos. Relentless kata serves well for this purpose. When it reaches critical level-breaking power, the deep blue glow that the sword has is most beautiful. A loud Kiai at this time speeds the process along.

I feel as though i am the only true Samurai left living in this world. All of the other so-called "Samurai" i know disgraces themselves with common jobs and do not comprehend the mysticisim of oni powers and kiai. They like to call it "Living in the real world." I call it living like men who wish they were warriors.

I've recently begun studying here at the university, and prompted them to create a major in my honor...."Japanese Studies". As a result, my students have all switched majors, and most of my classes are with them. I remind them to take care and remember that even in the classroom, i am their ultimate teacher, and the professors would bow before me at the flick of my wrist.

Also, it may be worthy to note that i have a court hearing to attend in a few days. I had another confrontation with the campus law enforcement concerning the carry of my sword. They attempted to confiscate Evil Slayer, but i drew him from the sheath and engaged them, before being hit in the ketsu with something they called a "taser". I'm here to testify that it is an extremely powerful weapon, and i was utterly helpless once hit with this "taser". Even more humiliating than this particular defeat was defecating myself uncontrollably as i lay prostrate on the walkway. Evil Slayer was taken from me at my weakest, by cowards, and i am working on a plan to get it back.

I must turn in for the night, Diary. I need my Bushi Sleep.

[Ronin.74]

Shutting UP! I don't need any holes drilled in my knees.

[plasma]

[QUOTE=Ronin.74]

He challenged me to a bokken match, which i promptly accepted. Things went well until i got hit under the eye with a rubber shuriken. I now have a small cut that is healing there.

QUOTE]

PL4zM4,

Didn't something like this happen to you at a university club? It sounds like something I've heard before. Your reputation is spreading!

All will be revealed at the end. For now, shut up.

[Ronin.74]

[QUOTE=Shinkengata] He challenged me to a bokken match, which i promptly accepted. Things went well until i got hit under the eye with a rubber shuriken. I now have a small cut that is healing there.

QUOTE]

PL4zM4,

Didn't something like this happen to you at a university club? It sounds like something I've heard before. Your reputation is spreading!

[Lane]

Only a ninja would leaved a partially-lamed, pissed off enemy behind him. :)

Probably only so that the ninja could force him to eat a frisbee or something, but you know... samurai always kill what they fight, and eat what they kill. They're natural predators. The lions of the Japanese jungle. Ninjers are like hyenas.

[plasma]

You ninjers with your cowardly kote-uchi. Real men tsuki to the throat.

But Tsuki to the throat = dead. Kote uchi = Laugh at the gimp with one hand.

[Lane]

[QUOTE=pl4zM4]

More likely, he got hit alot of the thumb and wrist bokken sparring.

You ninjers with your cowardly kote-uchi. Real men tsuki to the throat.

[plasma]

[QUOTE=devil]

I must cease this writing session for the moment, diary. I still suffer from a quite painful thumb/wrist injury from my battle with the Ninja.

HaHa. You fell victim to the deadly Ninja wristlock, I suppose.

More likely, he got hit alot of the thumb and wrist bokken sparring.

[Devil]

[QUOTE=Shinkengata]
I must cease this writing session for the moment, diary. I still suffer from a quite painful thumb/wrist injury from my battle with the Ninja.

HaHa. You fell victim to the deadly Ninja wristlock, I suppose.

[Shinkengata]

Sephiroth says:


That is irrelevant, peasant. Do not bring up such things or i will travel to your hometown and smite you with an amount of Oni power like you have never witnessed or felt.

[Neildo]

edit: deleted by original poster.


Lol, pwn3d by a ninjer....haha....oh. What? My avatar? That's uh......er....

*smoke bomb*

[Shinkengata]

Day 27

Dear Diary,


I've been in hiding for the past few days. I was confronted and challenged by a Ninja in front of my class, and suffered a supremely humiliating loss. These Ninja have absolutely no honor, they attack with surprise and trickery. He challenged me to a bokken match, which i promptly accepted. Things went well until i got hit under the eye with a rubber shuriken. I now have a small cut that is healing there.

I offered to rematch him with live blades, but he refused. What a coward he is. My Samurai honor is insulted and i shall deal with him in good time. I lost several students over the course of a couple of days to "Ninjutsu".

I will not kill myself in shame, because that is the act of a Samurai with a lord, and i am lordless. I will merely train and meditate harder. Astos stayed with me, so i thank the Kami for that.

I had another confrontation with the campus law enforcement regarding the carry of my sword. I politely but firmly informed them that in Japan, law enforcement bows to Samurai. Of course they pulled the incredibly convenient "Well this ain't Japan, Scooter."

It's Sephiroth, dogs....

I must cease this writing session for the moment, diary. I still suffer from a quite painful thumb/wrist injury from my battle with the Ninja.

Until next time we meet, Diary...

[Airman Kai]

Our samurai is certaintly making someinteresting lifestyle choices.

I mean, choji oil over wd-40? Come ON!

[MacWombat]

Ka-kaw-ka-kaw-ka-kaw-ka-kaw!!!
God that was a great show... nice sig.

I too loved Arrested Development, too bad it's gone :(. This is even funnier than the ninja thread. The last post was even a little disturbing when reading about the horse stances.

[Ronin.74]

I have an idea where our College Samurai's story is heading, but I will wait for the next several installments to see if I am right.