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Guy Who Does Curls in the Squat Rack: Douchebag of the Month - May 2009

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    Guy Who Does Curls in the Squat Rack: Douchebag of the Month - May 2009

    In this article there will not be any long-winded introduction, no witty insights or attempts at topical humor. There will only be glorious, righteous rage.

    The kind of rage fueling the right hook of Buzz Aldrin after being told by a nutjob that he's lying about landing on the moon. The kind of righteous anger in the heart of Eddie Bravo on finding out they managed to permanently remove all THC from hemp plants.

    The kind burning in the eyes of a temple guard chasing down a Philistine who took a shit in the Ark of the Covenant.

    That kind of rage.

    Ok, maybe not that last one, that's a bit much in comparison to:


    Let's talk about THAT GUY for a minute. He's the stuff of Douchebag Legend, occupying a rack designed for doing one or more high-weight olympic lifts, with his creampuff little plates on the end of a bar... because he's too goddamn lazy to bend over and pick up the damn bar.

    That guy.

    Oh, you're one of the fortunate few who hasn't run into this ubiquitous asshole? Well I managed to capture pics of this creature in the wild, yesterday:

    If you look closely you'll notice the reflection of your intrepid author in the reflection, standing in the middle of the weight floor taking the picture of "THAT GUY". For the record, he was curling 75lbs. The 24 Hour Fatness I currently go to has both Ez-Curl, and straight-curl bars, all the way up to 100lbs.

    You'll also notice the 275 in the power cage next to him, which is what your diligent journalist was there to squat for reps, in the squat rack, as Odin and Krishna intended. That's why instead of two noodly little bars like they have in the power cage, the squat rack has thick, reinforced bars that don't occupy your thoughts with useless concerns about the possible consequences of catastrophic structural failure if that last rep just doesn't go well. 275 may not be a remotely epic weight for squatting, but it's enough to compel you to seek out a set of crash bars that are thicker than your finger.

    And regardless, the main reason why curling in the squat rack levels you up to Champion Hero Douche is because there is no curling exercise that can be done by a healthy human being that requires such weight as you cannot lift it off of the ground yourself to begin the exercise, necessitating the use of a rack. Nope, none. Zero. Zip-ity fucking doo-da, go grab a Gin and Colonic and die of alcohol poisoning you developmentally stunted fratboy fuck.

    Now we here at Bullshido aren't the types to just complain about a problem; we provide solutions. So here's my solution to the problem of THAT GUY WHO DOES CURLS IN THE SQUAT RACK:

    It looks just like a squat rack, you don't have to do all that horrible, deadlift-like movement of bending over and picking up the bar, and the best feature is that it won't cost your gym much of anything at all since it's made out of the same stuff as a Little Tyke's playhouse because it only needs to support the weight of a chubby toddler and his Big Kids Meal.

    That means your gym only has to shell out about $50 or so, for you to have your own little squat rack-looking device for you and the other cupcakes who are afraid of a little extra exertion at the motherfucking gym.

    Last edited by Phrost; 5/19/2009 2:18pm, .

    Hear hear!


      Is he swinging his body to make those curls? his legs look less blurred than his head and upper torso. Hopefully he will hurt himself soon and stop going to the gym altogether.


        I read your post but I still don't understand what is wrong with this. just because he occupies your squat rack? I think most people don't think about these things.

        well written post though;)


          I'd also like to extend this to the guy that uses the squat rack to do shrugs and the douchebag at my gym who always lays on the floor in the middle of the rack, holds the bar, and then does leg lifts for what seems like half an hour.

          Oh, and the "butt-to-bench" squat guy. If you can't put your ass to the floor then reduce the weight. No one is impressed.


            Originally posted by Scrapper View Post
            Hear hear!
            +1 to that.


              God I hate curls and people that do them regularly followed up with bench, dips, chest flies, incline bench, shoulder press, lat pulldown, sitting rows and tricep kickbacks. On machines when applicable.

              >:[ Fuck those guys.


                Bastereds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they suck oh so much


                  I just love it when I go to squat, only to discover that half the racks are being used by guys to curls, pull ups, resistance band exercises and bench press. There's ample locations to curl (you just need floor!) pull ups can be done at the pull up bar that is set up all of 20 feet away, and benching can be done at any of the open benches. As for resistance band exercises, I don't know.


                    because of knee problems, i don't use free weights for lower body resistance training. however, i absolutely LOVE listening to the real lifters at my gym go apeshit over the douches occupying the squat rack for curls. coincidentally, these are the same people with invisible lat syndrome.


                      Oh no


                        I was actually guilty of that today.... I have been weight training my friend and he went over to the squat rack and started curling.... I told him ... but noooo.... In all fairness it was planet fitness... fuck planet fitness...


                          I'd like to add Guy Who Spends Forever Loading Bar For 1-Rep Max And Then...

                          Okay, it's a shitty title but the incident happened at a gym I frequented... dude comes in and puts his towel on the 'good' bench... and then drags it under the squat rack.
                          This is located right next to the Smith machine.
                          I don't like the Smith machine either, but dude's benching on his own and logic would suggest the Smith would be a good bet for him.

                          He wanders around the gym for five minutes collecting plates up and starts loading the bar up. He stops after a while and gets his phone out and rings his phone-a-friend.
                          "What's my one-rep max again?"
                          *unheard reply*

                          He gathers more plates, and starts to make an impressive pattern with the weights as he's loading the bar (not replacing the ones he's discarded, mind you... there's just a stack of orphan plates scattered around the bench). We guessed he was thinking about aerodynamics.

                          My buddy and I watched with interest, not least because we were going to be squatting in a while (small gym with a lot of machines, but only 1 squat rack & decent bar).

                          So, Guy Who Spends Forever Etc surveys his construction. He has the self-satisfied look of an Egyptian pyramid-builder as he admires his handiwork. He sits on the end of the bench, looking much unlike a man who is about to bench press (I think) about 150kg. A minute or so later, his phone comes out.
                          "It's all ready. Have you left work yet?"
                          *unheard reply, but definitely negative, possibly mentioning the guy's hungry and he's going to get food before he comes to the gym*
                          "Yeah. See you later then"

                          Guy stands up and walks away from the bench. Looks like training partner/phone a friend guy has stood him up.
                          We rejoiced, for is it not said that one man's disappointment is two dudes' bonus happy squat time?
                          It isn't?
                          Oh, how right you are, gentle reader.

                          Just as I'm about to shout "Selena, you forgot your towel", the guy (now being referred to as Dickhead) ambles back through with a couple of penis-weight dumbbells and proceeds to do limp concentration curls on the edge of the bench.

                          We went off to do some more warm-ups. The lunging was done in studied, angry silence, with just the sound of our teeth grinding and our inseams stretching.

                          At the end of my patience, I went through to Dickhead. About 45 minutes had elapsed since he'd come in. He'd tied two stations up, and could have made a fort out of discarded plates. I did the decent thing and asked him if he'd like us to spot him.
                          He goldfished a moment (mouth open/mouth close, eyes blank), before saying that his mate was coming.
                          Me: "probably safer if the two of us spot you... that's a decent weight you have on there"
                          Him: "I've nearly lifted this on my own before. But I was tired, so I didn't quite make it"
                          Me: "Mate, that's a LOT of weight to lift with only one spotter. Honestly, we don't mind spotting you." this was true... it was a very friendly gym, hence us not being more forceful. Plus it was attached to a karate school and you never quite knew who was a AssMegaKickBot 2000.
                          Him: "well, it's only around my bodyweight, so I don't see the need, but thanks"
                          He looked about 70kgs max. There must have been 150kg on the bar. Quick translation... he's probably 155 pounds and he's loaded 330+.

                          Realisation hit me like a well-constructed metaphor.. "mate", I said, "your friend meant pounds, not kilos"
                          MOAR goldfish.
                          Him: "Oh. Right. Just, in my old gym, they were all in pounds. The weights"
                          Me: "Well, no harm done. What say we set this up for you properly, you can do your 1-rep max, we'll spot you anyway, for safety..."

                          Guy was a little shaken, realising he almost dropped a big bollock, so he agreed.
                          My buddy and I broke the bar down and re-loaded it with about 72 kg (but no pretty pattern, sadly) and assumed the position.
                          "Ready?" I asked, eager to let Dickhead (I now felt a little sorry for calling him names) bang out his 'one rep max' - which we established was actually his personal best - and we could go to squat land.

                          "We still have to wait for my friend" he said.
                          "Why?" I asked, being incredulous in the style of a straight man setting up a punchline.
                          "He's got the camera. We're filming it for YouTube."


                          If you PM me, I'll tell you where we dumped the body.


                            As far as I can tell, the rack shown in the picture is open game. Seriously, it isn't the power rack with the adjustable pins. Not many people use that rack in the picture (at least at my 24 hour) for squats. I use it for deadlifts (need the bar), curls (OH NO), shrugs, and any other exercise that requires a bar that I can load weight on. I always make sure I ask people standing around if they want to work in between my breaks, but still, that rack is fair game.

                            Now the power rack with the adjustable pins? No curling there please.


                              Originally posted by Emevas View Post
                              Oh no
                              It's that time of the month again!

                              Originally posted by ChickenBeakFist View Post
                              Oh, and the "butt-to-bench" squat guy. If you can't put your ass to the floor then reduce the weight. No one is impressed.



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