Stupidest thing you ever tried in a fight

[kayman101]

This was a response I posted in the mega-thread, Stupid things you use to believe about MA. Thought there would be some interesting stories about failed 'deadly techniques' during street/training encounters. Here's mine:

I bought Chris Clugston's Combat JKD tapes and thought they were the shit! There is a move called 'the dive' where you go on your belly and sweep the opponent's legs with the inside of your arm.
One night at a bar, I unfortunately attempted this deadly technique and failed in the worst possible way. The opponent sat there shocked for a moment as I placed myself at the mercy of his right leg, then he kicked me in the chops hard enough to bruise my family tree. It was kind of like when Obi wan kanobi lowered his lightsaber to Darth Vader and met his maker. Moral of this story: The dive sucks ass.

[Ninnong]

My friend takes sort of the same approach at wrestling but when it doesn't work 300 pounds of sad falls down on him.

[Arskanator]

I once had a squabble with a mate of mine, where I tried to roundhouse him to the head. I missed, but I used the momentum, spinned around like a ballerina and did another roundhouse kick, which missed too. Then, the stupid TKD kid that I was back then, I spinned again and did a third kick. He caught my leg and punched me in the dick.

Stupid TKD...

[TheMightyMcClaw]

In my last MMA fight, I got punched in the head hard enough to think that a flying scissor from across the ring was a good idea.

[kayman101]

[

table] He caught my leg and punched me in the dick.
[/table]

That makes my experience seem trivial.

[vaquero de las nalgas]

I watched this guy that was probably borderline dwarf size try and kick me from waaaaay too far away. He lost his balance so I slapped the back of his head to further his progress towards the asphalt. His hair was a greasy, disgusting mess. For a minute I thought I was going to puke.

[JKDChick]

Jumping knee.
Followed by examining the ceiling.

[nightowl]

Going into the turtle....


...in a BJJ class.

[Arskanator]

[

That makes my experience seem trivial.

Nothing that causes damage to the 'family tree' is trivial ;)

[MMAMickey]

trying a headkick in a fight when I was in school.. I then realised that after years of shotokan karate I'd trained myself to miss, kiai and walk back to my starting point

[jeffphansen77]

It was once revealed to me that part of this Goju kata I was learning was a hidden move, where you hold your opponent's head down by the hair while dropping a downward elbow onto the neck.

I found myself in an epic after-school brawl with a rare shorter opponent who suckerpunched me & I ended up grabbing his long hair & dropping repeated elbows that kept slipping right off either side of his neck (thankfully, in retrospect).

In those days I fancied myself as an iron-jawed reincarnation of Rocky Marciano or something & prided myself on taking a good shot. So in the same brawl this guy had me up against some poor mother's car at one point & was wailing on my ribs.

So I raised my arms up sideways, palms up, giving the audience an "is this all he's got" sorta gesture. No pain at the time but when I rolled over in bed the next morning my ribs made me very aware that this was a foolish move & that I would not be doing any MA workouts for a few days.

[Jcbal93]

Used TKD in a fight in the 4th grade.
According to my dad... Pull guard and getting an armbar is one of the dumbest things I've ever done and I shouldn't do that.
Keeping my hands down while sparring...
Trying to win a fight in the 8th grade I unwillingly got into with only my left jab... I still won, but I realize it was stupid.

List goes on and on.

[Conde Koma]

I learned one judo class that Sumi-Gaeshi doesn't work against people who outweigh you by two hundred pounds.

[pokeroo]

When I was in school, lets see, hay-bailers, and the hockey punch (punching with the strong right while holding the opponent's coat with the left - This actually worked well. Judo that I learned from a book (so couldn't do the technique correctly).

[Flail_Crapple]

the hockey punch (punching with the strong right while holding the opponent's coat with the left - This actually worked well.

Provided it's done well, I don't really see anything particularly dumb about that.