Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Martial Holidays: Getting more personal with your skills

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Martial Holidays: Getting more personal with your skills

    Always looking to hone my craft... man, I was about to type out "bone my craft." I've spent too much time with my brother these few weeks... Anyway, always looking to hone my craft, I try to find different ways to incorporate my martial arts skills into my daily life. Whether it be threatening other drivers on the road, practicing hook punches at abortion clinics, closing doors with back kicks or turning off the shower with front kicks, I'm always looking for more ways to constantly be training.

    Some people think that holidays should be for being nice and singing songs and being gay or whatever. But no, that's just bullshit. There should never be a reason why you SHOULDN'T be kicking ass and taking names. Granted, most of you can't kick ass and sometimes I wonder how you keep breathing without being reminded, but still, kudos on the effort. Keep trying, one day you'll get to the top shelf.

    Always looking to assert physical and intellectual dominance over family members, these last few days have been very giving. Most of the year I try to avoid my family. Some of them i manage to avoid for several years at a time. What I'm saying is I should have a black belt in ninjutsu for this. This is real ninja shit. None of that shitty running around in your pajamas bullshit. No, avoiding your family for years on end even at family holiday reunions while still making them all fear and respect you? THAT is ninja. This year however, I decided to be a little more active in my family.

    I have a pair of uncles that are relatively close to my age, only about 6-8 years older than me. Growing up they always picked on me. They were always bigger and were into sports like wrestling and basketball. So growing up my uncles would beat me up and pick on me. As they got older and gave into society's pressure and gave up all the things that made them happy so they could work 80 hours a week, they gave up wrestling, boxing, etc. This year they asked me, "...do you still practice kung fu or whatever?" to which I replied, "...umm... I don't think I ever did kung fu."

    The message was clearly a challenge or something, because my older uncle picked up my boxing glove set and said that he and I should spar. Now mind you, I've been practicing very very hard and upping my training for the last year while he's been wasting away his spirit and getting fat on working for the last 8. He's somewhere around 230lbs now and really shouldn't be putting his heart through this kind of trouble. Up until last night, I hadn't done boxing with him since I was about 10 years old, but that wasn't so much boxing as it was getting my ass kicked. I tell him that he probably doesn't want to do this, which only makes him more eager to do so. He threw some punches at me which I easily maneuvered away from via head and body movement I've been working on for the last 6ish months. I hit him with a body shot and a straight left after he was tiring from throwing useless jabs and crosses that did nothing but hit air. He was done after my straight left hit him hard enough to daze him. I can't tell you the supreme amount of bullshit testosterone I was basking in from that. It was a long time coming.

    My other uncle, who was a regionally ranked wrestler in middle school, found out I had been doing judo and wanted to wrestle me. He is 6 years my senior, I believe and about 100lbs heavier than me. He attempted a single leg which I countered with a sprawl and worked my way into a no-gi harai goshi variant that landed him in side mount into a crucifix (thank you Omega) neck crank. It was quick and it was beautifully fun. I fought the urge to slap him and making him say uncle.

    This got my cousins into wanting to wrestle so for the next two or so hours, I played grapple with my 5-6 year old cousins and when my 15 year old brother wanted to play, I had him in s-mount and beat his face in with a pillow, then allowed my cousins to beat his face in with a pillow.

    Oh the holiday cheer, how I punched you in your stupid face. Holiday cheer is nothing more than self-serving bullshit to make you feel better. This was my holiday cheer, kicking the shit out of family members and then getting my ass kicked by 6 year old children. Fuck yeah. Merry Christmas, assholes.
    Last edited by King Sleepless; 12/26/2009 2:11pm, . Reason: Edit: Grammar and shit.

    #2
    You're funny, in a sad kinda way. You'd make a good clown.
    Soon-to-be BJJ sandbagger?

    Comment


      #3
      I choked my brother out from the backseat of the truck this year....

      Comment


        #4
        LOL

        In the Navy I always run across guys that 'used to do something something in high school"

        I always ask them the same question: "How long has it been since High School?" People seem to think that past training from decades ago is still useful no matter what has changed!

        Good that you had a fun time!

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by 2003volusia View Post
          LOL

          In the Navy I always run across guys that 'used to do something something in high school"

          I always ask them the same question: "How long has it been since High School?" People seem to think that past training from decades ago is still useful no matter what has changed!

          Good that you had a fun time!
          I had to try really hard to not hit my uncle with that straight left hard enough to KO him. I just wanted him to know he was outclassed.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by SoylentNinja View Post
            I choked my brother out from the backseat of the truck this year....
            Extra points if he was driving.

            If he wasn't, then you're just a pussy.

            Comment


              #7
              I avoided getting my ass kicked this year. All 3 of my nephews, who are all under the age of 8, live in a different part of the country now. I was free to read my books.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Demon Eyes View Post
                I avoided getting my ass kicked this year. All 3 of my nephews, who are all under the age of 8, live in a different part of the country now. I was free to read my books.
                I built a fort for all the kids with the couch and then captured them in the blanket and carried them around on my back like Santa Claus for a while.

                Having the proportional strength of superman over children really leads to good times.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Always does. I love grabbing one of my nephews and using them like a battering ram against the others. Good times.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Sircmas View Post
                    Always looking to hone my craft... man, I was about to type out "bone my craft." I've spent too much time with my brother these few weeks... Anyway, always looking to hone my craft, I try to find different ways to incorporate my martial arts skills into my daily life. Whether it be threatening other drivers on the road, practicing hook punches at abortion clinics, closing doors with back kicks or turning off the shower with front kicks, I'm always looking for more ways to constantly be training.

                    Some people think that holidays should be for being nice and singing songs and being gay or whatever. But no, that's just bullshit. There should never be a reason why you SHOULDN'T be kicking ass and taking names. Granted, most of you can't kick ass and sometimes I wonder how you keep breathing without being reminded, but still, kudos on the effort. Keep trying, one day you'll get to the top shelf.

                    Always looking to assert physical and intellectual dominance over family members, these last few days have been very giving. Most of the year I try to avoid my family. Some of them i manage to avoid for several years at a time. What I'm saying is I should have a black belt in ninjutsu for this. This is real ninja shit. None of that shitty running around in your pajamas bullshit. No, avoiding your family for years on end even at family holiday reunions while still making them all fear and respect you? THAT is ninja. This year however, I decided to be a little more active in my family.

                    I have a pair of uncles that are relatively close to my age, only about 6-8 years older than me. Growing up they always picked on me. They were always bigger and were into sports like wrestling and basketball. So growing up my uncles would beat me up and pick on me. As they got older and gave into society's pressure and gave up all the things that made them happy so they could work 80 hours a week, they gave up wrestling, boxing, etc. This year they asked me, "...do you still practice kung fu or whatever?" to which I replied, "...umm... I don't think I ever did kung fu."

                    The message was clearly a challenge or something, because my older uncle picked up my boxing glove set and said that he and I should spar. Now mind you, I've been practicing very very hard and upping my training for the last year while he's been wasting away his spirit and getting fat on working for the last 8. He's somewhere around 230lbs now and really shouldn't be putting his heart through this kind of trouble. Up until last night, I hadn't done boxing with him since I was about 10 years old, but that wasn't so much boxing as it was getting my ass kicked. I tell him that he probably doesn't want to do this, which only makes him more eager to do so. He threw some punches at me which I easily maneuvered away from via head and body movement I've been working on for the last 6ish months. I hit him with a body shot and a straight left after he was tiring from throwing useless jabs and crosses that did nothing but hit air. He was done after my straight left hit him hard enough to daze him. I can't tell you the supreme amount of bullshit testosterone I was basking in from that. It was a long time coming.

                    My other uncle, who was a regionally ranked wrestler in middle school, found out I had been doing judo and wanted to wrestle me. He is 6 years my senior, I believe and about 100lbs heavier than me. He attempted a single leg which I countered with a sprawl and worked my way into a no-gi harai goshi variant that landed him in side mount into a crucifix (thank you Omega) neck crank. It was quick and it was beautifully fun. I fought the urge to slap him and making him say uncle.

                    This got my cousins into wanting to wrestle so for the next two or so hours, I played grapple with my 5-6 year old cousins and when my 15 year old brother wanted to play, I had him in s-mount and beat his face in with a pillow, then allowed my cousins to beat his face in with a pillow.

                    Oh the holiday cheer, how I punched you in your stupid face. Holiday cheer is nothing more than self-serving bullshit to make you feel better. This was my holiday cheer, kicking the shit out of family members and then getting my ass kicked by 6 year old children. Fuck yeah. Merry Christmas, assholes.
                    And people say I've got emotional issues :icon_eek:

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Emotional issues? That's how a family should function.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I get that everyone hates sirc because he's a legitimately somewhat worthless douchebag, but everyone should applaud this. Putting old, despicable people who've given up on their lives in their places, and inspiring and entertaining younger family is a baller way to celebrate christmas. Respect, man.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Suprore View Post
                          I get that everyone hates sirc because he's a legitimately somewhat worthless douchebag, but everyone should applaud this. Putting old, despicable people who've given up on their lives in their places, and inspiring and entertaining younger family is a baller way to celebrate christmas. Respect, man.
                          I must agree that a lot of people get worse and worse as they age, that's why remaining a child at heart is important :icon_albi

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by Suprore View Post
                            I get that everyone hates sirc because he's a legitimately somewhat worthless douchebag, but everyone should applaud this. Putting old, despicable people who've given up on their lives in their places, and inspiring and entertaining younger family is a baller way to celebrate christmas. Respect, man.
                            Oh no. I am so fucking awesome you have no idea.

                            Originally posted by Osaka peach View Post
                            I must agree that a lot of people get worse and worse as they age, that's why remaining a child at heart is important :icon_albi
                            They don't get worse, they give up.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              It's a Festivus miracle.
                              I'm picturing you drooling onto the keyboard as you type, one eye rotating independent of the other as your hands mash the keys. - Sophist

                              Comment

                              Collapse

                              Edit this module to specify a template to display.

                              Working...
                              X