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Just how tough is Steven Seagal, really?

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  • Hiro Protagonist
    replied
    Still, however you put it, I cannot deny that "Glimmer Man" is one of my favorite action movies of all time.

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  • Larus marinus
    replied
    Have we had idle speculation as to the nature of Seagal's alleged 'unique physiological reaction to sexual arousal' yet (considering where we are, I suppose so)?

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  • judoka_uk
    replied
    "Ladies, gentleman, hermaphrodites, mongoloids, midgets and the Welsh"

    Lol!

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  • Larus marinus
    replied
    "The Ridiculousness of Steven Seagal"

    Haters gonna hate.

    Na, it's a good read.

    http://theflyingguillotine.wordpress...seagal-part-1/
    http://theflyingguillotine.wordpress...seagal-part-2/

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  • bobyclumsyninja
    replied
    Well he did poop, I heard. That would wuss up anyone a little. Difficult to act hard, with a squishy bottom...and accompanying odoriferous emanations.

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  • Jazzman
    replied
    DateLine News.....Bulletin ...Kermit The Frog disappears , Frog Sammiche spotted in the handsof one Stefan ,Stephen , Steven SeeTheGal beat....er no it's eat thats right , possible underworld collusion , where did Kermits other leg turn up , was it given to JudoGene as ransom for *not* making Seawhatishis face defecate down the other leg of his britches too.

    Hell there are people who would considergetting choked out to him a badge of honor , it seems that seagal acted like a sissy about it.

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  • bobyclumsyninja
    replied
    He doesn't look like he's conscientiously objecting to ham sandwiches...look at him. If he got any more pigly, Kermit would be hitting on him.

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  • Jazzman
    replied
    Originally posted by bobyclumsyninja View Post
    ...shame that's a discussion for an entirely different thread. do not derail our Seagal discussion with talk of fighting. We're talking about a fat American actor here..not the d3adly Ke?po.

    Take away the camera angles, and quick edits, and Seagal looks like a tubby penguin flapping his wing/stubs and parading around flashing his colors/stupid jackets. Nothing he's ever done, has given any indication the man can fight. I bet though, he could tear up a ham sandwich. That would be a short fight.

    Wait , wait ..hold the train now , would a reincarnated Lama be eating Pork?Ham Sandwich wins by default due to conscientious objector status of the other party. A better match would be him and Rosie O'Donnell , they can each wear Depends in case they get choked out. Regardless of who wins that one the Gods will Smile and say " somebody finally shut that bitch up."....

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  • bobyclumsyninja
    replied
    ...shame that's a discussion for an entirely different thread. do not derail our Seagal discussion with talk of fighting. We're talking about a fat American actor here..not the d3adly Ke?po.

    Take away the camera angles, and quick edits, and Seagal looks like a tubby penguin flapping his wing/stubs and parading around flashing his colors/stupid jackets. Nothing he's ever done, has given any indication the man can fight. I bet though, he could tear up a ham sandwich. That would be a short fight.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kenpo Kid
    replied
    Oh come on now jazz, that bait wasn't all that bad was it? I do agree with you here that Danzan-Ryu and Daito-Ryu would compliment kenpo very well and yes, finding a good instructor would be stroke of luck. Have you heard of hakko-ryu? A good system yet hard to find. I'm impressed Jazz, you do know your stuff here, and I would never call you stupid as you clearly are not. As for our previous exchanges, Mr. Parker had a saying "To beat action meet it" I guess that kinda applies here but anyway, I guess I'll take my ball and go home now. Oh, and on a serious note, take care of that knee and you are never too old to train.

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  • Jazzman
    replied
    Incidentally Kid , if one was asking seriously instead of just trolling with really rotten , stinky bait , then one might get the answer that for many individuals there is much value to be found in Judo and Boxing , furthermore you'll find the FMAs to be highly complimentary to most any permutation of Kempo-Kenpo or Kajukenbo , another avenue of supplementary study that's complementary might be Danzan-Ryu , especially through the folks who came through Sig Kufferath. Real Daito-Ryu would be good , but best of luck finding a real instructor.

    Take note of the training methods common to those suggestions.......yup that's about what I'd say to you , had you actually asked a serious question that is. So come along back and tell me how stupid I am etc.etc , keep in mind that i'm old and senile , I'll forget it all in a moment anyway. Kenpo Bunny was it.....oh hell....wut..

    Leave a comment:


  • It is Fake
    replied
    Originally posted by Kenpo Kid View Post
    Okay there Mr. Jazzman, maybe you should go have some prunes and oatmeal, maybe you'll feel better in the morning. To put it in terms that YOU can understand, "Blow it out your @$$" :-)
    So, is this you admitting your sign up age is a lie?

    Leave a comment:


  • Kenpo Kid
    replied
    Okie dokie there Jasmine, take your meds and get a good night sleep and I hope you took my advise on the prunes and oatmeal. Good night sir.

    Leave a comment:


  • Jazzman
    replied
    Originally posted by Kenpo Kid View Post
    Hello again Mr. Jazz, my new found virtual friend, and thank you for your response. By the way, does your "ma" know you talk like that? Squeeze your canary to death, impregnate your dog and piss into your fish tank......hmmmmmm.... Are these some of the responses you've accumulated in the past from your ever so pleasant discussions with others? Anyway, doing these things are also not my style. I had to chuckle a bit, your reference to my "arrogance" reminded me of the Star Wars series when Darth Sidious referred to Yoda as being the arrogant one. Now, you mentioned that I should entertain the thought of training in other systems for cross training purposes. What systems would you, an apparent man of advanced years and wisdom recommend? By the way, I "assume" you are also a musician, possibly an upright bass player???

    More in the way of cognitive dissonance? See in actuality as regards my relations with the rest of humanity , which are quite congenial , it's just *you* KK , just you. I'd hazard a guess that you've heard that often enough in life by now.

    As for how to crosstrain , don't ask me , what would I know , I'm seniles , hell got to a mind reader anad ask...ooops wait , check that , go to a Palmist instead , we know you've got a palm.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kenpo Kid
    replied
    Hello again Mr. Jazz, my new found virtual friend, and thank you for your response. By the way, does your "ma" know you talk like that? Squeeze your canary to death, impregnate your dog and piss into your fish tank......hmmmmmm.... Are these some of the responses you've accumulated in the past from your ever so pleasant discussions with others? Anyway, doing these things are also not my style. I had to chuckle a bit, your reference to my "arrogance" reminded me of the Star Wars series when Darth Sidious referred to Yoda as being the arrogant one. Now, you mentioned that I should entertain the thought of training in other systems for cross training purposes. What systems would you, an apparent man of advanced years and wisdom recommend? By the way, I "assume" you are also a musician, possibly an upright bass player???

    Leave a comment:

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