Just how tough is Steven Seagal, really?

[Larus marinus]

Big rock stage shows have a lot of details that have to be right, because you've got pyrotechnics, huge displays, giant aplifiers and many, many bystanders crammed together. Things have to be properly anchored, supported etc, and everything has to come together just right for some of the epic rock shows planned. Adding "no brown M&Ms" to a list is a way to test if all of your requests were actually read and executed properly.

Ah, okay. Thanks.

I'll start: lactating ranch dressing

Something like this:

(note - rather gross video)

Spoiler:

Seagal is not squinting to make himself look Japanese - he's trying hard to keep his eyeballs in his head.

lol "1 X boombox"...to really kick the jams.

With his wives, girlfriends and handmaidens?

[Smackjack]

Well, as of aikido. I have actually used some basic techniques in a real life situation, some drunk grabbed my shirt with both hands, I thought he was joking, obviously not so I grabbed his left hand and twisted it towards his right side and pressed forward as it was bent. I forget the name. But lol the reaction was priceless and in front of chicks too, I remember when I was shown this by a master and he made me say "moma" so I did the same thing to the drunk. If that isn't enough a guy I workout with is a trainer at a fit athletic gym and he just got back from Iraq and has done kungfu, aikido, muay Thai, bjj, and boxes now. And said he would only use aikido in a real fight. I'm not claiming aikido but if it exist as an art then it's bound to work some how, and I'm sure if mr.seagal has 7th dan there is bound to be somewhere along those testings that he would have been in front of a judge that thoroughly tests people despite there social status in life. Again not even defending seagal just making a point. What if I got 7 dan, and started acting and producing? You guys gonna think I suck too?

[DARPAChief]

Well, as of aikido. I have actually used some basic techniques in a real life situation, some drunk grabbed my shirt with both hands, I thought he was joking, obviously not so I grabbed his left hand and twisted it towards his right side and pressed forward as it was bent. I forget the name. But lol the reaction was priceless and in front of chicks too, I remember when I was shown this by a master and he made me say "moma" so I did the same thing to the drunk. If that isn't enough a guy I workout with is a trainer at a fit athletic gym and he just got back from Iraq and has done kungfu, aikido, muay Thai, bjj, and boxes now. And said he would only use aikido in a real fight. I'm not claiming aikido but if it exist as an art then it's bound to work some how, and I'm sure if mr.seagal has 7th dan there is bound to be somewhere along those testings that he would have been in front of a judge that thoroughly tests people despite there social status in life. Again not even defending seagal just making a point. What if I got 7 dan, and started acting and producing? You guys gonna think I suck too?

I already think you suck.

[Sorekara]

Well, as of aikido. I have actually used some basic techniques in a real life situation, some drunk grabbed my shirt with both hands, I thought he was joking, obviously not so I grabbed his left hand and twisted it towards his right side and pressed forward as it was bent. I forget the name. But lol the reaction was priceless and in front of chicks too, I remember when I was shown this by a master and he made me say "moma" so I did the same thing to the drunk. If that isn't enough a guy I workout with is a trainer at a fit athletic gym and he just got back from Iraq and has done kungfu, aikido, muay Thai, bjj, and boxes now. And said he would only use aikido in a real fight. I'm not claiming aikido but if it exist as an art then it's bound to work some how, and I'm sure if mr.seagal has 7th dan there is bound to be somewhere along those testings that he would have been in front of a judge that thoroughly tests people despite there social status in life. Again not even defending seagal just making a point. What if I got 7 dan, and started acting and producing? You guys gonna think I suck too?

You just tried to use what you saw on a movie.

[ermghoti]

Based on his run-in with Lebell, I'm guessing his unorthodox reaction to arousal involves involuntary peristalsis.

[Larus marinus]

Based on his run-in with Lebell, I'm guessing his unorthodox reaction to arousal involves involuntary peristalsis.

I vote that it goes into reverse and he starts vomiting turds. :CerealSpitting:

Note - this is actually a real medical condition.

[W. Rabbit]

You just tried to use what you saw on a movie.

You need to learn a more proper way of insulting Bak Mei.

Hint: ask him how it feels to be a traitorous dog. Make sure it's in Cantonese.

Then, prepare to fight to the death. Probably yours.

[DARPAChief]

Waitaminute, didn't he die of food poisoning?

[bobyclumsyninja]

I'm not claiming aikido but if it exist as an art then it's bound to work some how,

It does. The way it works is, one guy agrees to be thrown/felled by the other. There's usually a lunge punch, or knife hand to assist.

[Ignorami]

Well, as of aikido... blah, wrist twist = aikido... blah, I'm not claiming aikido but if it exist as an art then it's bound to work some how

It's true, some Aikido does work. But only mine, and only when I do it.

(I hear rumours that TomC can make it look like like Aikido is effective too, but really he's found some way of showing Aikido on the surface, and cunningly hiding Judo underneath to make it work. Kind of like the cloaking device in Predator)

[Ginzo]

Pretty damn tough

[Tom .C]

It's true, some Aikido does work. But only mine, and only when I do it.

(I hear rumours that TomC can make it look like like Aikido is effective too, but really he's found some way of showing Aikido on the surface, and cunningly hiding Judo underneath to make it work. Kind of like the cloaking device in Predator)

I call it Amerido

[bobyclumsyninja]

In his defence, here's a rider for his band. Not really that douchey in its demands at all.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/file/ev...be-band?page=6

If anyone was going to demand 20lbs of M+Ms with all the brown ones removed, a dressing room adorned with endangered plantlife, no plates or silverware less than 200 years old or something to eat after like a camel stuffed with a lamb, stuffed with chickens, stuffed with eggs, I'd have expected it from Seagal.

btw, was it someone on here who said that 'Thunderbox' (the name of his band) is military slang for the waste receptacle in a chemical toilet? I read something along those lines somewhere...

Iggy Pop and the Stooges have the best (17 pages) rider, in the history of artist demands.
Worth reading. Seagal's band, however, doesn't have anything remotely interesting about it, beyond the fact that Steven weighs as much as the whole rest of his crew combined.....and the room full of guitars that Steven can't play well.

[Azatdawn]

he just got back from Iraq and has done kungfu, aikido, muay Thai, bjj, and boxes now. And said he would only use aikido in a real fight.

Must be the trauma speaking.

[Larus marinus]

I call it Amerido

Are you really the hypothetical (legendary?) judo delivery system+aikido moves Angel of Death? How does it feel?

Iggy Pop and the Stooges have the best (17 pages) rider, in the history of artist demands.
Worth reading. Seagal's band, however, doesn't have anything remotely interesting about it, beyond the fact that Steven weighs as much as the whole rest of his crew combined.....and the room full of guitars that Steven can't play well.

Link to Stooges rider? I really wouldn't have thought that they'd be that up their own arses...