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Fighting Styles That Will Probably Get Your Ass Kicked

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    Fighting Styles That Will Probably Get Your Ass Kicked

    http://sports.gunaxin.com/fighting-s...s-kicked/33871



    The old standby, the faithful companion. Karate. The name strikes fear in the hearts of villains everywhere. Bullies, however, are famously immune to anything remotely related to karate.
    The basics tenets of karate are: you have limbs, so strike people with them. Congratulations, you are now a yellow belt.
    In all fairness, karate doesUseful Alternative : Judo. Seriously.



    While it might not involve quite as many hi-ya!ninjutsu
    1. Seishin-teki kyōkō (spiritual refinement)
    2. Bōjutsu (stick and staff fighting)
    3. Shurikenjutsu (throwing shuriken)
    4. Sōjutsu (spear fighting)
    5. Naginatajutsu (naginata fighting)
    6. Kusarigamajutsu (kusarigama fighting)
    7. Kayakujutsu (pyrotechnics and explosives)
    8. Hensōjutsu (disguise and impersonation)
    9. Shinobi-iri (stealth and entering methods)
    10. Bajutsu (horsemanship)
    11. Sui-ren (water training)
    12. Bōryaku (tactics)
    13. Chōhō (espionage)
    14. Intonjutsu (escaping and concealment)
    15. Tenmon (meteorology)
    16. Chi-mon (geography)
    17. Taijutsu (Unarmed Combat)
    18. Kenjutsu (sword fighting)
    Useful Alternative :Stick Fighting.

    CapoeiraOnly The Strongoccasional exception.
    Useful Alternative : Regular breakdancing, maybe? But with golf cleats?



    WHAAAAAAAA?

    An internet article written about martial arts that isnt stupid ninjer/_ing _un/TKD/Karate crap

    hooray +1 for common sense, i very agree with this, judo > karate FTW (unless you are machida and payed for sushi dinner for 3 judges)

    #2
    Where is the Chun on this list?


    And what about Kyoshikin? It's a form of karate and I am pretty sure that will KEEP you from getting your ass kicked.
    I feel like you eye-bawlin' me, dawg!

    Comment


      #3
      If I didn't see the link I would have guessed it was on Cracked.

      Comment


        #4
        Yes us Kyokushinkaikan are deeply offended!!!!!

        And I'm even more pissed that they don't mention Hamster Style Kung Fu:

        ORGASMO (master of Hamster Fu) and his sidekick CHODA
        "Preparing mentally, the most important thing is, if you aren't doing it for the love of it, then don't do it." - Benny Urquidez

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          #5
          I am also deeply offended as are my ancestors!

          While it might not involve quite as many hi-ya!s or roundhouse kicks or bone splinters as karate, judo is infinitely more useful. In less than a week, you will have learned ten different, easy-to-perform throws and sweeps.
          This is about the least common-sense advice on the planet. I'd really like to see someone do Judo for a week and demonstrate these 10 easy to learn throws and sweeps. Judo has to be the most insanely complex martial art on the planet that still manages to be functional. I realize a week is probably hyperbole, but regardless the learning curve is very high and after a year chances are you will still suck.

          And when I say suck, I don't mean like BJJ guys who are always like, "Oh yeah, I really still suck [compared to the purples]" but will still whoop quite a bit of ass, I mean you will suck total monkey nuts and only regularly throw people who suck even more than you and aren't significantly bigger.
          Last edited by maofas; 11/06/2009 1:13am, .

          Comment


            #6
            I'd also like to meet the dudes who have grasped 10 throws and sweeps in seven short days of Judo.....Shit all I got was a headache and a broken toe......

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              #7
              Originally posted by DarkPhoenix View Post
              Where is the Chun on this list?

              Chun isnt on the list because the Chun works....:eusa_eh:

              Comment


                #8
                3 little words...



                Kuk Sool Won.

                The name is enough to get your ass kicked.
                I feel like you eye-bawlin' me, dawg!

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by maofas View Post
                  Judo has to be the most insanely complex martial art on the planet that still manages to be functional. I realize a week is probably hyperbole, but regardless the learning curve is very high and after a year chances are you will still suck.

                  And when I say suck, I don't mean like BJJ guys who are always like, "Oh yeah, I really still suck [compared to the purples]" but will still whoop quite a bit of ass, I mean you will suck total monkey nuts and only regularly throw people who suck even more than you and aren't significantly bigger.
                  Judo is so the opposite of complex I don't even have a word for it.. o yeah i forgot the word simple lol.

                  seriously though, not ten throws but you could probably get about 3 down to a good level of competence. The first time I did any judo I was shown a throw in an mma gym (kata garuma) and pulled it off in sparring in the same class. it depends on the throw IMO.

                  .. yeah you'll still suck against judoka but after a few weeks you'll be capable of throwing people who don't do judo, which is probably more likely what the OP was going for
                  "The hero and the coward both feel the same thing, but the hero projects his fear onto his opponent while the coward runs. 'Fear'. It's the same thing, but it's what you do with it that matters". - Cus D'Amato
                  Spoiler:

                  Comment


                    #10
                    A good read but yeah Kyokushin fighters might have something to say about it but i'm sure we all know what type of Karate the Op is refering to.

                    We could also add to the list:
                    Aikido
                    Wing Chun
                    Praying Mantis
                    Origami
                    TKD

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by MMAMickey View Post
                      Judo is so the opposite of complex I don't even have a word for it.. o yeah i forgot the word simple lol.

                      seriously though, not ten throws but you could probably get about 3 down to a good level of competence. The first time I did any judo I was shown a throw in an mma gym (kata garuma) and pulled it off in sparring in the same class. it depends on the throw IMO.

                      .. yeah you'll still suck against judoka but after a few weeks you'll be capable of throwing people who don't do judo, which is probably more likely what the OP was going for
                      Seriously? I agree with Maofas. Judo is fricken hard. All these little details that have to be just perfect at the same exact moment for the throw to work. With Muay Thai you can throw a punch wrong but you are still throwing a punch, and in BJJ it happens at a speed where you can see where you've gone wrong.

                      Maybe people click with some martial arts more than others but in my experience Judo is to martial arts what golf is to ball sports.
                      Last edited by Sang; 11/06/2009 6:26am, .
                      "Boxing is the art of hitting an opponent from the furthest distance away, exposing the least amount of your body while getting into position to punch with maximum leverage and not getting hit."
                      Kenny Weldon

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Stop being a bunch of whiny pussies, Judo isn't that hard.

                        Also, Kyokushin will get you your ass kicked, just mostly by the other nut cases in your dojo.

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                          #13
                          Bah! It should be added to Bullshido's slogan.

                          Judo; cheap, widely available and fucking hard.
                          "Boxing is the art of hitting an opponent from the furthest distance away, exposing the least amount of your body while getting into position to punch with maximum leverage and not getting hit."
                          Kenny Weldon

                          Comment


                            #14
                            All martial arts will get your ass kicked.

                            Good martial arts will kick your ass on the mats.

                            Bad ones will get it kicked everywhere BUT the mats.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Any martial art that advocates beating somebody from a distance without touching them or using a gun will probably get your ass kicked.

                              And Buj, but that was not meant to work.
                              Sumus extra manum tuam.

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