I strike my girlfriend when I'm falling asleep/am asleep because of MA

[permahudef]

Yes one must be careful when wielding teh D34d1y. One does not want to go to prison for accidental sleep manslaughter. I am afraid that seperate beds is the only solution to this side affect of teh D34d1y.

My grandma knew a girl growing up that would sleepwalk with knives. Noone ever got hurt though. Just freaky.

[dethklok]

My grandma knew a girl growing up that would sleepwalk with knives. Noone ever got hurt though. Just freaky.

Holly shit dude, that would definitely freak me the fuck out. I think I would crap my pants if I was on my way to thee bathroom in the wee hours in the morning and there is a little girl walking the opposite way wielding a butcher knife. Wow, there went the bowls.

[Lebell]

that's a pretty racist statement

Racist?
Really?

I'm not racist, i've had a black grilfriend.
I met her when i was going out to the KFC, for some chicken and thats where i met her, Lathishifa just came back from the hospital where she had taken a paternal test to indentify the father of her baby, she had a quick lunch and our eyes met.
At first she was a bit defensive about me being a peckerwood and stuff but eventually she dropped her defenses.
We met later that day because first she had to go to the police station to bail for her brother Tyrone.
He got set up with coke by the cops on the courtyard playing ball.
We had a very meaningfull and intimite relationship for as long as it lasted.
She still calls me every now and then, mostly about why im not paying for my baby, but still.

So there, HOW DARE YOU SAY IM RACIST!!!

how dare you!

[Ke?poFist]

When I fall asleep I start making automatic movements, I have had this all my life I remember sleeping with my sister in a tent when I was young and I was falling asleep and dreamed I threw a frisbee and bam I backhanded her in the face by accident. it was not really hard but still Now with all my ma training I sometimes strike my girlfriend with a tricep/elbow strike or forearm How can I solve this?

Stop smoking so much crack. Either that, or man up and admit to your family at the intervention that you have anger management issues and that's why your cowardly ass is a wife-beater. If you get it out in the open now, I'm sure you can get off with a restraining order, and hopefully you don't have any kids yet to get caught in a custody battle.







heh, but no seriously, go kill yourself.

[Sri Hanuman]

I wonder if Dillman has ever accidentally dim mak'ed his woman in her sleep, or if sleeping in different beds is the sacrifice you have to take for teh D34d1y.

I think for the last 40something years, Dillman sleeps alone, as clearly demonstrated by:

[permahudef]

Holly shit dude, that would definitely freak me the fuck out. I think I would crap my pants if I was on my way to thee bathroom in the wee hours in the morning and there is a little girl walking the opposite way wielding a butcher knife. Wow, there went the bowls.

Yeah, she'd go outside as well. Imagine being the person who didn't know about the sleepwalking...

[Meex]

I showed wifey this thread. . .

she said that, "yes, you sometimes hit at me in your sleep."

I asked her why she never mentioned it.

She said that is why she sleeps wrapped around me, with her
head on my arm. . .to be as close to me as possible. That way,
she doesn't get hit, and she will wake up as soon as I move.
(Hmm. . .good ma awareness, and solution!)

On the way out of the room, she added, "and, everytime you've
attempted to hit me, you've bought me a really nice present."

"I did?" said I.

"Yes," said wifey, "usually a very nice piece of jewelry!"

And, with a wink and a smile she was gone.

No wonder my wallet always seems to be a little lighter
in the morning. . .

`~/


.

[Sri Hanuman]

Imagine waking up half naked, outdoors, being tackled by a fucking swat team.
Some people have all the fun.

[Sri Hanuman]

She said that is why she sleeps wrapped around me, with her
head on my arm. . .to be as close to me as possible. That way,
she doesn't get hit, and she will wake up as soon as I move.

The dreaded clinch.

everytime you've attempted to hit me, you've bought me a really nice present."

No wonder my wallet alwys seems to be a little lighter
in the morning. . .

The dreaded wallet clinch.

[permahudef]

Imagine waking up half naked, outdoors, being tackled by a fucking swat team.
Some people have all the fun.

I heard a story like this...except the guy was inside...
Are you alluding to that story?

Edit: found it!
http://www.twincities.com/alllisting...618?source=rss

Inver Grove Heights / Cops storm house to end standoff
Pioneer Press
Updated: 01/23/2009 12:18:26 AM CST

A four-hour standoff between authorities and a 24-year-old man with a gun ended peacefully Thursday after a SWAT team stormed the man's Inver Grove Heights residence.

Man, this is some fucking bullshit. The other night, we went out drinking
and shit. He got too fucked up and got into a fight with his girl, (because, of course, she was fucking other dudes...) after which he literally picked her up and carried her out of his house. He went inside to pass out, after he locked the door, and she called the cops and shit. He was passed the fuck out and they surrounded his house. Motherfucker doesn't even own a shotgun, nor was he awake when the cops showed up. After standing around for 4 hours, they chucked a phone through his bedroom window (which was not open), and fucking sat there for another hour. Then after somebody looked in the window and noticed he was passed out before arresting him.

Bitches... can't live with them, and apparently, you can't leave them either.

Officers then saw Kuehn with a shotgun as they were moving his girlfriend away from the house, Salmey said.

Kuehn was booked into the Dakota County Jail on suspicion of fifth-degree domestic assault.
---------------------------------

This is what had me cracking up. Dude doesn't own a shotgun, he's a convicted felon. Notice there was no mention of any weapons charges, or anything of that sorts. Just "suspicion" of domestic assault. He got released with no charges filed but an OOP, and his girl is baiting him into breaking it by calling and hanging up.

Yeah, they were looking for an excuse to rough him up a little bit. He's a well known alki with a habit of getting smashed and causing them problems. They fucked his whole house up, busted his 50' LCD screen right on the floor, and somehow, there was a foothole in the wall of his kid's room. They broke out his front bay window with a flashbang, and when he got released it had snowed all over his living room, the pipes were frozen, and his basement was flooded.

She did him dirty as hell. 3 of his friends are now tapping that shit, and 1 of them has had plenty of rumours flying around about what he gave to who and if penicillin can really cure those things.
Karma...

[Lights Out]

So, OP is just like this guy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0boUfC8BANU

[dethklok]

Now that is some funny ass shit. I love the fact that he continues to throw punch's even though he is clearly in a different world. Fucking classic. LOL

[jesu christo]

So, OP is just like this guy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0boUfC8BANU

Man at Gas Station: Is there something wrong?
Anton Chigurh: With what?
Man at Gas Station: With anything?
Anton Chigurh: Is that what you're asking me? Is there something wrong with anything?

[vaquero de las nalgas]

I once let the loudest fart ever rip ass in the middle of the night, and my wife rolled over, picked up the phone, and said "Hello?"

Sleep fucks with your brain.

Thread winner.

PS OP is a troll.

[Onr3e]

Rofl this thread is gold.

The only thing I've done one time is throw combos into the air when I was sleeping, freaked the missus out pretty good.