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I strike my girlfriend when I'm falling asleep/am asleep because of MA

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    #31
    Originally posted by Evil Solvalou View Post
    While I'm not 100% sure, I think I may have masturbated in my sleep.
    Don't sleep next to dogs... it could end badly.
    =================
    Kama Sutra blue belt.

    Originally posted by Emevas
    I used to fuck guys like you in prison.
    Originally posted by Rock Ape
    Dude I kill people for a fucking living.

    Dipshit

    Comment


      #32
      Originally posted by Humanzee View Post
      Don't sleep next to dogs... it could end badly.
      Not necessarily; a well trained dog could clean me up after. I wake up feeling relieved with none of the stickiness then.

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        #33
        Originally posted by Evil Solvalou View Post
        Not necessarily; a well trained dog could clean me up after. I wake up feeling relieved with none of the stickiness then.
        You may be on to something. Like a seeing eye dog, only more... special. Wasn't there a guy in India with a similar idea?
        =================
        Kama Sutra blue belt.

        Originally posted by Emevas
        I used to fuck guys like you in prison.
        Originally posted by Rock Ape
        Dude I kill people for a fucking living.

        Dipshit

        Comment


          #34
          My suggestion would be to get a straight jacket and sleep with it every night. That way the only one you hurt is your self. And if your being an ass in the morning your girlfriend can just keep the straight jacket on your ass as you would need her to get you out of it. Anddd if your really pissing her off she could call up the local loony bin and let them know that you have a crazed escaped patient in your home.

          Comment


            #35
            Originally posted by Humanzee View Post
            You may be on to something. Like a seeing eye dog, only more... special. Wasn't there a guy in India with a similar idea?
            I don't know, but I've heard some lonely Japanese women train their dogs to, well, clean out their pipes.

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              #36
              Originally posted by Evil Solvalou View Post
              I don't know, but I've heard some lonely Japanese women train their dogs to, well, clean out their pipes.
              We have to help. We can form the first Bullshido Help Lonely Japanese Women Strike Force, or the BHLJWSF for short.
              =================
              Kama Sutra blue belt.

              Originally posted by Emevas
              I used to fuck guys like you in prison.
              Originally posted by Rock Ape
              Dude I kill people for a fucking living.

              Dipshit

              Comment


                #37
                Originally posted by Humanzee View Post
                We have to help. We can form the first Bullshido Help Lonely Japanese Women Strike Force, or the BHLJWSF for short.
                Any job a dog can do, 17 monkeys can do better.
                Now darkness comes; you don't know if the whales are coming. - Royce Gracie


                KosherKickboxer has t3h r34l chi sao

                In De Janerio, in blackest night,
                Luta Livre flees the fight,
                Behold Maeda's sacred tights;
                Beware my power... Blue Lantern's light!

                Comment


                  #38
                  Originally posted by War Wheel View Post
                  Any job a dog can do, 17 monkeys can do better.
                  I'd rather not involve monkeys in anything naughty. Monkeys are my special friends.



                  Besides, I insist on personally helping Japanese women. My only 3 requirements:

                  1. no facial hair
                  2. under 150lbs
                  3. under 46
                  =================
                  Kama Sutra blue belt.

                  Originally posted by Emevas
                  I used to fuck guys like you in prison.
                  Originally posted by Rock Ape
                  Dude I kill people for a fucking living.

                  Dipshit

                  Comment


                    #39
                    I'm not doing anything unless they promise to clean the dog saliva off and shave down there, or at least trim it.

                    Yeah I've seen Asian porn; you'd need a machete to cut through that shit.

                    Comment


                      #40
                      i strike my girlfriend when she looks at another man.
                      or when she's late with dinner.
                      or she won't let my cousins join in during sex.

                      whats the problem?

                      i must say i'm impressed that the OP is dedicated enough to even hit her in his sleep.
                      that's dedication right there, people.

                      if your girlfriend is black its best not to hit them.
                      i tried it once but black women can be a bit...fiesty.
                      it's not a good idea unless you like being chased around with a meatcleaver.

                      Comment


                        #41
                        Sounds a bit like http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Periodi...ement_disorder
                        Hmmm...dopaminergic drugs used to treat it...that surprises me...
                        Here's a recent review, but I"m not sure if it actually is periodic limb movement disorder.
                        http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16762807
                        Talk to your doctor.

                        Comment


                          #42
                          Originally posted by Lebell View Post
                          if your girlfriend is black its best not to hit them. i tried it once but black women can be a bit...fiesty. it's not a good idea unless you like being chased around with a meatcleaver.
                          that's a pretty racist statement

                          Comment


                            #43
                            Originally posted by Kanye View Post
                            that's a pretty racist statement
                            Wana take away his Clean-Shaved Scrotum award?
                            =================
                            Kama Sutra blue belt.

                            Originally posted by Emevas
                            I used to fuck guys like you in prison.
                            Originally posted by Rock Ape
                            Dude I kill people for a fucking living.

                            Dipshit

                            Comment


                              #44
                              To the OP, what do you tell her if you wake up in the morning and you gave her 2 black eyes???





                              A: Nothing, you've already told her twice!

                              Comment


                                #45
                                Originally posted by Yoj View Post
                                To the OP, what do you tell her if you wake up in the morning and you gave her 2 black eyes??? A: Nothing, you've already told her twice!
                                LOL that's funny man :D

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