I strike my girlfriend when I'm falling asleep/am asleep because of MA

[Sri Hanuman]

While I'm not 100% sure, I think I may have masturbated in my sleep.

Don't sleep next to dogs... it could end badly.

[Evil Solvalou]

Don't sleep next to dogs... it could end badly.

Not necessarily; a well trained dog could clean me up after. I wake up feeling relieved with none of the stickiness then.

[Sri Hanuman]

Not necessarily; a well trained dog could clean me up after. I wake up feeling relieved with none of the stickiness then.

You may be on to something. Like a seeing eye dog, only more... special. Wasn't there a guy in India with a similar idea?

[dethklok]

My suggestion would be to get a straight jacket and sleep with it every night. That way the only one you hurt is your self. And if your being an ass in the morning your girlfriend can just keep the straight jacket on your ass as you would need her to get you out of it. Anddd if your really pissing her off she could call up the local loony bin and let them know that you have a crazed escaped patient in your home.

[Evil Solvalou]

You may be on to something. Like a seeing eye dog, only more... special. Wasn't there a guy in India with a similar idea?

I don't know, but I've heard some lonely Japanese women train their dogs to, well, clean out their pipes.

[Sri Hanuman]

I don't know, but I've heard some lonely Japanese women train their dogs to, well, clean out their pipes.

We have to help. We can form the first Bullshido Help Lonely Japanese Women Strike Force, or the BHLJWSF for short.

[Matt Phillips]

We have to help. We can form the first Bullshido Help Lonely Japanese Women Strike Force, or the BHLJWSF for short.

Any job a dog can do, 17 monkeys can do better.

[Sri Hanuman]

Any job a dog can do, 17 monkeys can do better.

I'd rather not involve monkeys in anything naughty. Monkeys are my special friends.



Besides, I insist on personally helping Japanese women. My only 3 requirements:

1. no facial hair
2. under 150lbs
3. under 46

[Evil Solvalou]

I'm not doing anything unless they promise to clean the dog saliva off and shave down there, or at least trim it.

Yeah I've seen Asian porn; you'd need a machete to cut through that shit.

[Lebell]

i strike my girlfriend when she looks at another man.
or when she's late with dinner.
or she won't let my cousins join in during sex.

whats the problem?

i must say i'm impressed that the OP is dedicated enough to even hit her in his sleep.
that's dedication right there, people.

if your girlfriend is black its best not to hit them.
i tried it once but black women can be a bit...fiesty.
it's not a good idea unless you like being chased around with a meatcleaver.

[permahudef]

Sounds a bit like http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Periodi...ement_disorder
Hmmm...dopaminergic drugs used to treat it...that surprises me...
Here's a recent review, but I"m not sure if it actually is periodic limb movement disorder.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16762807
Talk to your doctor.

[Kanye]

if your girlfriend is black its best not to hit them. i tried it once but black women can be a bit...fiesty. it's not a good idea unless you like being chased around with a meatcleaver.

that's a pretty racist statement

[Sri Hanuman]

that's a pretty racist statement

Wana take away his Clean-Shaved Scrotum award?

[Yoj]

To the OP, what do you tell her if you wake up in the morning and you gave her 2 black eyes???





A: Nothing, you've already told her twice!

[Kanye]

To the OP, what do you tell her if you wake up in the morning and you gave her 2 black eyes??? A: Nothing, you've already told her twice!

LOL that's funny man :D