I strike my girlfriend when I'm falling asleep/am asleep because of MA

[Matt Phillips]

You, my friend, have an excellent defense to any charges of domestic battery. If you gf is at all violent and occasionally beats on you, you wanna keep that one in your holster. Get a bigger bed, and sleep out of reach.

That's good advice. Thanks Crappler!

[Sri Hanuman]

That's good advice. Thanks Crappler!

Hey, the top part is sound advice. Just look at his avatar.

[jkdbuck76]

Crappler likes punishing the wiminz in uniform.

[KhorneliusPraxx]

In a dream once, I was corner buy a growling Rottweiler. I was terrified. Since I was cornered with no other option I had to strike first. I put everything I had into punting the vicious beast under his jaw. I don't know how the dream would have panned out because I woke up when Mrs. Praxx screamed. While I dreamed of kicking the dog, I actually kicked her in the ass.

I love that story.

[MMAMickey]

I remember sleeping with my sister

I think maybe you're seeking help for the wrong problem

[Kuma]

My dog fell asleep with her head in my lap, then started doing that foot-twitch thing and sleep-barking while she dreamt. All I could think was "whatever she's chasing, I hope she doesn't catch it."

[Sri Hanuman]

What kind of dog is it?

[mebobo]

sounds like an excuse to me.. youre a woman beater . seek help.

[Kuma]

Black lab/chow mix. About 70 pounds.

Retrievers have soft mouths, from what I've been told, but they still have teeth. I was understandably reluctant to wake her.

Edit: I think the OP is a troll, based on the stupid premise, the low postcount, and the stupid username. I was humoring the thread, sort of.

[Sri Hanuman]

Black lab/chow mix. About 70 pounds.

Retrievers have soft mouths, from what I've been told, but they still have teeth. I was understandably reluctant to wake her.

Edit: I think the OP is a troll, based on the stupid premise, the low postcount, and the stupid username. I was humoring the thread, sort of.

Dog saves thread.
Cull and repost :)

[Kuma]

Dog saves thread.

FILM AT ELEVEN.

[Kambei Shimada]

Dont worry about it.

I strike your woman while your asleep also.

[Sri Hanuman]

Dont worry about it.

I strike your woman while your asleep also.

A 3 way? Finally this thread is gaining momentum.

[TFG]

When I fall asleep I start making automatic movements, ...and dreamed I threw a frisbee

Sleep with your dog instead.
That way, when he dreams he's chasing something, it'll make a situation that was wrong on so many levels- seem almost like a precious Kodak moment.

[Evil Solvalou]

While I'm not 100% sure, I think I may have masturbated in my sleep.