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Dumb ass fight stories;crappy technique/execution REDUX

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    Dumb ass fight stories;crappy technique/execution REDUX

    Yeah I'm a newb, and have a ton of crappy fight stories, about how I lost a given fight, or screwed up something so monumentally as to be laughably bad, at fighting.

    If you got one, that might tickle the funnybone, or even get something off your chest, about a stupid move you might have pulled, that just plain old didn't work, here's you chance to vent.


    What am i talking about, you ask?
    For example, due to non-contact karate punching drills, I actually let loose a serious punch-that, just like the drills, stopped an inch or two short of the opponents face.
    If only, he had sort of fallen forward, into it, he could have been in a world of hurt!! :iamwithst

    Ever performed a technique, that you learn't from illustrations in an old book? I did, you know the classic savate move, where you headbut (basically) your opponent in the guts, grab behind both knees and flip them backward? I've done it!!! And it sucked!! Really hurt my neck........

    This thread, is about stupid ass shit, that you have had the misfortune of trying to use, successfully or not, in actual fights or otherwise.

    #2
    i hit a guy with a beerbottle once.
    it didnt break like in the movies.

    Comment


      #3
      I chased some guys through some woods like in that... Film er... Deliverence.

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        #4
        Originally posted by Kambei Shimada View Post
        I chased some guys through some woods like in that... Film er... Deliverence.
        You mean they had their trousers round their ankles?

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Yoj View Post
          You mean they had their trousers round their ankles?
          Eventually.

          Comment


            #6
            Everyone has done an armbar, that successfully drew your opponents elbow, into your groin, basically nutting yourself out of the fight, with serious ball pain...I know I have.

            Ever thrown a kick in self defense, only to miss your opponent completely, and fall on your ass, without your opponent even touching you? I have!!

            Surely, this should be a rich gold mine of humor and pathos.

            Edit-Ah shit, I didn't know there were replies already.But hey, its comedy gold.

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by NoKandu View Post
              Ever thrown a kick in self defense, only to miss your opponent completely, and fall on your ass, without your opponent even touching you? I have!!
              I was in the non receiving end of such an attack a few months back:occasion1
              I ate at this fabulously bad Chinese restaurant and one of the local drunks just wouldn't get the message that he was no longer welcome. The owner refused to serve him. Instead of just walking away he started to make threats and what not.

              To make a long story short, he started eventually to make threats to the other customers there, and when he wanted to pick a fight with me I just stood up and said, calmly "O.K. enough with this, let's go outside." Instead he wanted to start some shit in the restaurant.

              The drunk now just walked up to me and tried to hit me in the face. To which I simply ducked and took a step to the side. He just fell over and could not get up by himself. Everyone was laughing when he proclaimed "You knocked me out, you bastard!"

              I just don't seem to get into real fights. Sorry.

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                #8
                one time i got attacked by a biker who donkeypunched me from behind.
                so i was laying there and i hit him on his foot with my face twice before guys broke us up, they had to drag him off my face for his own safety!

                hah!

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                  #9
                  I once slipped and broke a front tooth in a fight with another soldier in trade training. the fact we were fighting on a highly polished wooden floor in just our wool army socks may have been a contributing factor.

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by Lebell View Post
                    i hit a guy with a beerbottle once.
                    it didnt break like in the movies.
                    Remember me? Small asian dude? You bastards fought us 20-on-5 and I ended up in the emergency ward? Yeah. Don't think I forgot that.

                    Grrrr.

                    Oh yeah. There's this one time me and a few friends fought a bunch of aggroed asians and I blocked this bottle attack with my awesome headbutt.

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                      #11
                      I used to do axe kick and superman punch in real fights back when I was training tae kwon do:P seriously it is a miracle that I didn't get injured.

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by adouglasmhor View Post
                        I once slipped and broke a front tooth in a fight with another soldier in trade training. the fact we were fighting on a highly polished wooden floor in just our wool army socks may have been a contributing factor.
                        im getting real tired of your army stories.
                        my grandfather had way cooler stories, like how they would drive some dudes into a shed and then set the shed on fire and stuff.

                        LOL

                        crazy army humor!

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                          #13
                          This thread is full of win. Lol MOAR

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by Lebell View Post
                            one time i got attacked by a biker who donkeypunched me from behind.
                            so i was laying there and i hit him on his foot with my face twice before guys broke us up, they had to drag him off my face for his own safety!

                            hah!

                            Yeah, I know what your saying-I actually did, become so irate at some prick, who just refused to succumb to my amazing martial arts, that I headbutted him, very hard.
                            Very hard indeed.

                            Unfortunately, I knocked myself out in the process.
                            The good news, is that, well, it must have been a serious headbutt that I threw, to have managed that.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Lebell View Post
                              im getting real tired of your army stories.
                              my grandfather had way cooler stories, like how they would drive some dudes into a shed and then set the shed on fire and stuff.

                              LOL

                              crazy army humor!

                              He still cried when a small fat Englishman put a rope round his neck.

                              Comment

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