In the movie I <heart> Huckabees, there's a point where Mark Wahlberg and the other guy are in a state of pure bliss. They've achieved detachment from, and acceptance of, worldly concerns. Their philosophy-teacher-lady reminds them that this is just a phase: periods of alignment always come to an end. The world--in the form of politics and personal desires--always intrudes. That's how I feel at the moment. My time at my Isshinryu school was great; now I move on to other things.
I taught there, and there's ample discussion of that. But I also studied there for 9 and a half years. The school prides itself on being a strong, close-knit community, and it accomplishes that in spades. Every night after classes, about 3/4 of the students and staff stay for drinks for an hour or longer. There are demos, parties, and events every month. In that kind of environment, there's something wrong with you if you don't form close ties with the place.
My involvement in the school was during my formative years as an adult. The dojo family brought me jobs, friends, romance, advice, and gobs of good memories. I look back on it fondly.
Why did I leave? Light contact sparring. Point-sparring in-house tournaments. No-cross-training policy. Most of all, I became a big fish in a tiny pond that wasn't particularly interested in getting skilled at standup, clinch, and ground. I don't think they're Bullshido or a McDojo, but this is not the place for that debate.
Leaving is fucking hard! It took a long time of realizing that I didn't fit. That I couldn't achieve my goals there. That despite how much I liked the place, they weren't for me. I've been thinking about it for a long time, in different forms. I knew that I had to cross-train, and even getting the courage to ask to do that took a while. Got a problem with that? Go tell your Brazilian BJJ instructor that you want to train SAMBO because his leglocks suck, then tell me that cross-training is always accepted. Maybe he's cool with it. Let me know how it goes.
What got me to make up my mind? Jack's humble, wise advice. JP's NYC throwdown thread, and the throwdown itself (and its level of kosherocity in my school). Just doing judo--seeing a good group of people train hard and get fucking awesome at that skillset--was a big eye opener.
I know that people like Sirc, Boyd and Hedge have it easy--some TMAer comes in, and they're cursing at the new guy and telling them to quit their TMA dojo before the Bullies finish saying hello. Maybe they're antisocial enough to leave a place that easily, but more likely I bet they just haven't been in a position where social ties and a shared history conflicted with training goals. "Just quit" is easy in theory, but this is real for people. "Just do BJJ/whatever" might truly be the best option, but it's not particularly illuminating as a recommendation, and it frankly sucks as advice.
Leaving is also easy to fuck up. It's easy to insult people on the way out; it's easy to burn bridges. My advice: make sure you want to leave, say it isn't for you, make a polite goodbye, and leave.
Anyway. This is my thread to explain the change in my style field, and to pre-empt the losers who will jump up and down shouting "my thread did it!" Sorry, it didn't, Sirc. You're just a bitch. This Bullshido journey started with my first Newbietown thread, and took me here by dint of intelligent discussion, honest personal histories, and polite sparring with the fine people of the NYC TD, plus IIF, DerAus, Vieux, and too many more to list.
I taught there, and there's ample discussion of that. But I also studied there for 9 and a half years. The school prides itself on being a strong, close-knit community, and it accomplishes that in spades. Every night after classes, about 3/4 of the students and staff stay for drinks for an hour or longer. There are demos, parties, and events every month. In that kind of environment, there's something wrong with you if you don't form close ties with the place.
My involvement in the school was during my formative years as an adult. The dojo family brought me jobs, friends, romance, advice, and gobs of good memories. I look back on it fondly.
Why did I leave? Light contact sparring. Point-sparring in-house tournaments. No-cross-training policy. Most of all, I became a big fish in a tiny pond that wasn't particularly interested in getting skilled at standup, clinch, and ground. I don't think they're Bullshido or a McDojo, but this is not the place for that debate.
Leaving is fucking hard! It took a long time of realizing that I didn't fit. That I couldn't achieve my goals there. That despite how much I liked the place, they weren't for me. I've been thinking about it for a long time, in different forms. I knew that I had to cross-train, and even getting the courage to ask to do that took a while. Got a problem with that? Go tell your Brazilian BJJ instructor that you want to train SAMBO because his leglocks suck, then tell me that cross-training is always accepted. Maybe he's cool with it. Let me know how it goes.
What got me to make up my mind? Jack's humble, wise advice. JP's NYC throwdown thread, and the throwdown itself (and its level of kosherocity in my school). Just doing judo--seeing a good group of people train hard and get fucking awesome at that skillset--was a big eye opener.
I know that people like Sirc, Boyd and Hedge have it easy--some TMAer comes in, and they're cursing at the new guy and telling them to quit their TMA dojo before the Bullies finish saying hello. Maybe they're antisocial enough to leave a place that easily, but more likely I bet they just haven't been in a position where social ties and a shared history conflicted with training goals. "Just quit" is easy in theory, but this is real for people. "Just do BJJ/whatever" might truly be the best option, but it's not particularly illuminating as a recommendation, and it frankly sucks as advice.
Leaving is also easy to fuck up. It's easy to insult people on the way out; it's easy to burn bridges. My advice: make sure you want to leave, say it isn't for you, make a polite goodbye, and leave.
Anyway. This is my thread to explain the change in my style field, and to pre-empt the losers who will jump up and down shouting "my thread did it!" Sorry, it didn't, Sirc. You're just a bitch. This Bullshido journey started with my first Newbietown thread, and took me here by dint of intelligent discussion, honest personal histories, and polite sparring with the fine people of the NYC TD, plus IIF, DerAus, Vieux, and too many more to list.
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