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    Originally posted by Matt Phillips View Post
    LOL @ "Bioinformatics and Computational Chemistry". Those two have surprisingly little to do with one another.
    How fucking dare he have more than a single degree. Clearly diminishes his value while preserving your superiority.

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      I'm actually at the student orgs office at my university studying with a harvard biomedical engineering. Random fact. I asked him if he has heard of you but I think you guys are in different departments (he was part of engineering), and plus he was an undergrad.

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        Originally posted by Matt Phillips View Post
        Haven't seen her in years, but she texted me a recent pic a few moths ago. She looks different with a normal haircut.
        Spoiler:



        Same big blue eyes though.

        I dedicate my 2,500th post to the girl with the steel toed boots. Happy birthday L.
        Very happy to report that we are back together 14 years after the fact.
        Now darkness comes; you don't know if the whales are coming. - Royce Gracie


        KosherKickboxer has t3h r34l chi sao

        In De Janerio, in blackest night,
        Luta Livre flees the fight,
        Behold Maeda's sacred tights;
        Beware my power... Blue Lantern's light!

        Comment


          women attacks you. She's faster, tougher, meaner, and much stronger than you. She's also done a little bit of kickboxing, and she weighs about 20 kgs less than you.
          Since this is impossible the correct answer must be use a town portal scroll.

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            Thread necro: acceptable.

            Comment


              Originally posted by Jim Giant View Post
              Since this is impossible the correct answer must be use a town portal scroll.
              This girl is more Charsi than Blood Raven
              Now darkness comes; you don't know if the whales are coming. - Royce Gracie


              KosherKickboxer has t3h r34l chi sao

              In De Janerio, in blackest night,
              Luta Livre flees the fight,
              Behold Maeda's sacred tights;
              Beware my power... Blue Lantern's light!

              Comment


                to answer flatly

                I dont care if youre male, female, unspecified or other.

                Comment


                  Any human attacking you has the potential to cause you real harm.
                  Underestimate anyone at your peril.
                  Every hunter knows that the life of a large mammal is a fragile thing.

                  Comment


                    [PART 1]

                    The dark air is crisp and cool as the helicopter circles the cruise ship. The fighters watch the sky as the Security Women signal for the pilot to land on the heli-pad, which happens to be right next to the open-air MMA cage. The blades slice right through the plastic fence like a hot knife through butter.
                    When the blades stop moving, the doors of the copter open and out steps IMMAF legend, Hunter Dogan.
                    [glow=gold,2,300]Hunter Dogan:[/glow] Aloha, Motherfuckers!
                    All the fighters and coaches on board run right up to Dogan to give him a big welcome. Long-time Hunter Dogan training partner, Fredrick Foswell, goes right up to low-five him.
                    [glow=gold,2,300]Fredrick Foswell:[/glow] Welcome to the ship, my man!
                    While all the fighters are celebrating the big man's arrival, Hunter Dogan's girlfriend, the bashfull but beautiful Barbara Hauser, steps out of the copter. He holds her close to himself.
                    [glow=gold,2,300]Hunter Dogan:[/glow] Gentlemen, fighters..... I brought my future wife along with me for a vacation cruise. Between sunbathing, getting drunk, and having vacation sex with her, I'll be in the gym helping you guys become the next big thing in MMA.
                    Can you dig it? CAN YOU DIG IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
                    All the fighters roar in agreement. They all stomp off and go into the interior of the ship, where they break into Costanzo Granitelli's luxury suite and party like a bunch of grown up crack-babies. Left behind are the Security Jennys, who quickly go about their business; also left behind are Barbara Hauser and Life-Guard Maria Cruz....
                    [glow=pink,2,300]Barbara Hauser:[/glow] That's men for ya'. Bro's before ho's..... They never miss an opportunity to group together and fuck around, while planning how to further screw up this shit-hole of a planet on the side.
                    Maria Cruz: Yeah...... I'm glad to finally meet you, Miss Hauser. The only time I've ever really heard about you before this point is when your brother Leonard shouted your name when he was screaming his sexual fantasies out loud. To see you with such an upstanding guy like Hunter Dogan at your arm, I was intrigued.......
                    [glow=pink,2,300]Barbara Hauser:[/glow] Well of course you were intrigued! You couldn't take your eyes off of my ass during Hunter's entire speech!
                    Maria Cruz:...... Let's go someplace quiet.
                    Cut scene to several hours later. The party has died down a bit, but in Hunter Dogan's bedroom, alot of interesting noises can still be heard.
                    Maria Cruz: * Moan* Oh, yes.....
                    [glow=pink,2,300]Barbara Hauser:[/glow] * Slurp* Oh, fuck yes.....
                    Barbara Hauser and Maria Cruz are stripped down to almost nothing in Hunter Dogan's triple king-sized bed. Their lips are locked in an unbreakable embrace...... Their hands...... Vigorously massaging eachother's genitals.
                    Then the sound of the bedroom door being quickly opened causes the two ladies to shriek.
                    Maria Cruz: Ah!
                    [glow=pink,2,300]Barbara Hauser:[/glow] Oh no.
                    Hunter Dogan stares blankly at them from inside the door's frame.
                    [glow=pink,2,300]Barbara Hauser:[/glow] Hunty...... This isn't what it looks like!
                    Hunter Dogan slowly approaches the bed. He flicks on the stereo set and some 1970's love song starts playing.
                    [glow=pink,2,300]Barbara Hauser:[/glow]!!!!!!!!!!
                    Dogan bops his head as he approaches the two. He slowly strips off his clothing.
                    [glow=pink,2,300]Barbara Hauser:[/glow] Oh....
                    Maria Cruz: My....
                    [glow=pink,2,300]Barbara Hauser:[/glow] God!
                    Dogan tilts the bed as he gets on...
                    Maria Cruz: Uh..... Here it comes!
                    . . . . . .Several long hours later, in the blackest time of the night, the temperature of the room finally begins to decrease. Everyone's face is glowing.
                    Maria Cruz: Uh..... Wow.... Was that as good for you as it was good for me?
                    [glow=pink,2,300]Barbara Hauser:[/glow] It's always been good for me, but I'm glad we had this little bit of variety tonight. Do you think we should invite Maria over to our place when we get back, Hunty?
                    [glow=gold,2,300]Hunter Dogan:[/glow] * Zzzzzzzzzzz*
                    [glow=pink,2,300]Barbara Hauser:[/glow] Figures. Hey, Maria, do you have enough energy for another go?
                    Voice From Doorway: Oh, I'd like to see that!
                    [glow=pink,2,300]Barbara Hauser:[/glow] OH MY GOD!
                    No matter how hard either female shrieks, the massive Hunter Dogan does not wake. No-one can protect them against the menacing powers of Leonard Hauser, who eyes them from the doorway.
                    [glow=red,2,300]Leonard Hauser:[/glow] Ahhhhhhh, I see you like a bit of variety too, Sis. All these years, you've been denouncing my sexual conduct and have been going about like you're the superior sibling..... But apparently, we're not so different after all.
                    [glow=pink,2,300]Barbara Hauser:[/glow] EAT SHIT AND DIE, PERVERT!
                    Leonard Hauser's enourmous penis strikes like the tail of a scorpion. It extends all the way across the room and pierces Hunter Dogan's bed, missing Barbara's head by mere inches.
                    [glow=red,2,300]Leonard Hauser:[/glow] BUTTSECKS FROM HELL!!!!
                    Barbara and Maria quickly scramble to hide while Leonard recoils his penis for a second strike. The two manuevar their way under the sleeping Hunter Dogan's massive girth. When Hauser strikes again, his penis merely bounces off of Dogan's fat.
                    [glow=red,2,300]Leonard Hauser:[/glow] You whores can't hide under there forever! Anything will break if you hit it in the same spot over and over with enough force!

                    [CONTINUED IN PART 2]

                    Comment


                      [PART 2]

                      Hauser starts drilling Dogan's back fat over and over with his penis strikes. The girls suffer through the weight of Dogan combined with the vibrations caused by Hauser's penis.
                      [glow=red,2,300]Leonard Hauser:[/glow] Only a little bit longer.....
                      Thump!
                      Thump!
                      Thump!
                      [glow=red,2,300]Leonard Hauser:[/glow] What's that?
                      A loud thumping noise can be heard through the hallways of the ship. Hauser looks around for the source of the noise.
                      [glow=red,2,300]Leonard Hauser:[/glow] What the deuce? *BAM!* AHHHHH!
                      Delta Jackson comes out of nowhere and spears Hauser 20 feet backwards into the hallway.
                      [glow=white,2,300]Delta Jackson:[/glow] I GOT YOU NOW, N*GGA!!!!!!
                      Delta Jackson rushes over to where Hauser is. He slaps him across the face.
                      [glow=white,2,300]Delta Jackson:[/glow] I challenge you to a STREET-GRAPPLING match.
                      Hauser obliges by quickly getting up and shoulder throwing Jackson onto the hard deck. After he lands, he picks him up again and shoulder tosses him a second time. He tries for a third time, but Delta recovers and shoots through his legs for a fireman's carry. He dumps Hauser on a pile of anchors. After Hauser regains his footing, he ties up with Delta and the two drive eachother into the metal walls using their INCREDIBLE BRUTE STRENGTH, planting huge dents in them.
                      Bunanananananananana!
                      Hauser elevates Jackson off the ground with his penis. Is he going to do it? Yes! He BONERSLAMS Jackson and the two fall through the wooden floor and into the engine room. The two scramble on the floor, ignoring the screams of the startled workers. Jackson grabs Hauser in a double leg position and jumps 20 feet into the air with him, crashing Hauser's body up against the top part of a smoke-stack. Hauser quickly recovers; grabbing onto a light post, he manages to catch Jackson in a mid-air STREET-TRIANGLE CHOKE.
                      Nanananananananana!
                      Although the STREET-TRIANGLE CHOKE is one of Hauser's most dangerous moves, Delta Jackson manages to escape the submission by kicking off of the side of the smoke-stack. The two go falling towards the ground; during that time, Delta manages to take Hauser's back and perform a mid-air suplex on him. Hauser hits the ground hard.
                      Nanananananananananananananananananana!
                      The two are scrambling on the ground like two alley cats now. When Hauser stands up, Jackson performs a double-leg trip on him and mounts him. This is an extremly dangerous position for Hauser, because Delta can start working.....
                      [glow=red,2,300]Leonard Hauser:[/glow] Lay and Pray! It's draining my strength!
                      Bunana Bunana!
                      Hauser squirms as Delta works his signature Lay and Pray move on him. It's only a matter of weeks until Hauser will die from starvation in this position! Thinking fast, Hauser whips his penis out of his thong and BONERSWEEPS Delta Jackson.
                      Bunanananananananananana!
                      Hauser is moping the floor with Jackson using his penis. But Jackson is tough, and he manages to lock on a PENIS-BAR on Hauser! Hauser's penis may be SUPERSTRONG but Jackson has a prodigious amount of RETARD STRENGTH!
                      Bunanananananananananana!
                      The two roll around the deck while Jackson has the PENIS-BAR locked on. The boat shifts one way, and the two rapidly start rolling to one side of the ship. They're coming to the edge of the boat, and fast! The roll over the rails; Jackson lets go of the lock to grab the rail and Leonard Hauser falls off the boat!
                      Bunananana!!!!!!!!!
                      Jackson gets up and looks overboard.
                      [glow=white,2,300]Delta Jackson:[/glow] I..... I did it! I DID IT!
                      [glow=red,2,300]Leonard Hauser:[/glow] Think again, THUCKA!
                      Hauser had climbed back on the boat using his cock! When Delta turns around to face him, Hauser locks on a PENIS-CHOKE!
                      Delta struggles for air, but he can't break the SUPERHUMANLY STRONG PENIS GRIP. With his penis wrapped firmly around Jackson's neck, Hauser starts throwing the man around the deck. Jackson's back hits the side of the wall hard, but looking up, he sees some exposed wiring. Knowing it's his only chance, he reaches out and lets the electric current run through his own body and Hauser's slong.
                      The shock causes so much cramping in Hauser's penis that he just has to let go! Delta releases the wires, and falls to ground stunned. The wires were only a temporary solution, however, as Hauser lands a huge penis strike to Delta Jackson's stomach.
                      [glow=red,2,300]Leonard Hauser:[/glow] I smell bitch. You gonna die today, bitch.
                      Hauser raises his penis high above the ground, preparing to deliver the DEATH BLOW PENIS STRIKE. Suddenly, a shot rings out in the air, and a bullet pierces Hauser's shoulder in a splash of blood. Hauser drops his penis, stunned.
                      Standing several feet away from Hauser is rifle-totting Bayan Bayar, Delta Jackson's fellow Robert Hamilton Army member.
                      [glow=blue,2,300]Bayan Bayar:[/glow] Cocksucker Bitch-Monkey!
                      Jackson and Bayar drive Hauser into the wall and pin him.
                      [glow=red,2,300]Leonard Hauser:[/glow] You think I'm out, mutherfuckers? THINK AGAIN!
                      Hauser rips an idol that he was wearing as a necklace out and throws it into the sea. Quite instantly, the water starts to rumble.
                      BUNA! BUNA!
                      A giant behemoth rises from the ocean. The beast is twenty stories tall and fifty stories wide. He's the scariest looking mutha-fucker in the seven seas. He's..... He's.......
                      [glow=red,2,300]EMMANUEL YARBROUGH!!!!!!!!![/glow]
                      [glow=white,2,300]Delta Jackson:[/glow] Wow, the brother put on a few more pounds.
                      The giant Manny Yarbrough picks up the cruise ship as if it were a toy. Everyone on the ship is aware that there's trouble now, and they all run outside and panic. Even Hauser is pretty scared, considering he had intended to summon Neptune, the king of the seas.
                      [glow=red,2,300]EMMANUEL YARBROUGH!!!!!!!!!:[/glow] HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
                      Yarbrough's deep voice booms throughout the world. Costanzo Granitelli, in a last ditch effort to save himself, boards the helicopter and attempts to fly away. He ends up crashing into Yarbrough's eye in a firey explosion. In an extremly high-pitched voice, Yarbrough shouts:
                      [glow=red,2,300]EMMANUEL YARBROUGH!!!!!!!!!:[/glow] OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!
                      The giant man topples into the sea, inadvertantly flinging the cruise ship out of his hands. The next several hours are a blur for everyone......... . . . . . . Cut scene to noon the next day. The busted cruise ship with everyone in it, the broken helicopter with Granitelli in it, even the giant Yarbrough ended up being washed up on a tropical island.
                      There's no food and no water, but luckily the natives ( All of whom are females who don't wear clothing) are extremly hospitable. They feed and nurture all the fighters. Besides the Forrest Gump/ Lt. Dan Pirate Gang that have a headquarters on this island, the place is pretty friendly.
                      Due to the fact that all the radios are broken, but the film equipment still works, Costanzo Granitelli has made the decision to film the rest of the TIF season on this island.
                      BUNANANANANANANA! BUNANANA!

                      [CONTINUED IN PART 3]

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