A kid tried to stab me tonight.

[simonifrius]

I teach a class in my church for 7th-8th grade boys, in one of the kid's home. Tonight was our last night of the year, and so I was trying to keep things a little loose, just have a lil talk about what's next and let them hang out.

Well, the host kid is usually pretty disruptive (I think he might have ADD), but especially so tonight. So I jokingly warned him that in the past I dealt with such problems by letting the other kids give the problem a pink belly. He, jokingly, left the room and came back with a folding knife. I told him to put it down so we could continue.

About ten minutes later, I warned him that he had his second strike when he decided to sit upside down in his chair. He pulled out the knife again and I ignored him, and continued.

The third strike came not long after, when he started making fun of another kid's small size (which, being a support group, is a big no-no). So I decided to give him the pink belly. He picked up the knife again, and I grabbed his leg and warned him that I wasn't joking; he needed to put that away. He did, and then he kicked me in the face, knocking me down (he's an eighth grader, but he's nearly six feet and probably outweighs me by ten or twenty pounds). I got up and avoided another kick, grabbing side control and then his back. I set the hooks in and pulled his chest up, and told the boys it's pink belly time. Somehow, the kid regained the knife, and laughing, before I knew he even had it, he stabbed at my head, pinning my ear (a shallow stab that didn't go all the way through because it hit my head). I warned him that it was now serious while giving a hard gooseneck to his wrist, and he dropped the knife. I picked it up and let him go.

Given the nature of the kid (he's stupid, not volatile) and the nature of his dad (he's not stupid, but he is volatile) I opted not to let it leave the room. I went and took care of my bloodied ear while my assistant took over. Once the first aid was taken care of, I took the kid outside and had a serious talking to. He was shaken up; couldn't believe he had done it, and had thrown the knife away as soon as I left the room. I don't think he's a serious threat to others; he's a jokester that doesn't think things through (I know some of you'll ream me on this, but I thought it was best for this situation). Anyway, I think this was kind of a wake-up call for him.

I came home and worked out on the bag a little. I was kind of shaken after it happened, and now I'm depressed as all get-out. That normal?
Friggin' kid. And friggin' me for letting it get that far.

[DKJr]

....You could have died my friend. Thats serious biznuss in my book.

[Vorpal]

You sound like a pedo. Pink belly? Goddammit there are so many red flags in that post I don't know where to start. Go report yourself to the police.

[Frank White]

What the fuck is a pink belly?

[1point2]

Someone bigger than you pulled a knife and used it on you, and you let it slide? That's weird.

Not sure what Vorpal means.

[simonifrius]

....You could have died my friend. Thats serious biznuss in my book.

That was part of my man-to-man with the kid. I know it was serious, and if he had done it to someone else, I wouldn't be protecting him. I'm pretty confident with the way I handled the aftermath; it's the lead-up that bothers me more.

You sound like a pedo. Pink belly? Goddammit there are so many red flags in that post I don't know where to start. Go report yourself to the police.

Heh. Okay. You know what a pink belly is?:eusa_hand

[Whacker]

Pink belly is what you get after repeated punches or open-handed strikes to the midsection, and your stomach or torso turns that funny shade of red. It sometimes happens in class when we work on drills that involve shots to the midsection. That's what we call it, at least. /shrug

[Sam Browning]

He shouldn't have stabbed you period. But you shouldn't be giving your students pink bellys. It smacks of hazing, and the fact that you have other students participate makes it look even worse. If one of your students got hurt in class, and you were sued, any attorney would make you look like a real freak during any cross examination or deposition. For example:

How old is Jim?

He's 14, right?

And you held him down?

And you took off his clothing?

You deny that removing his gi jacket is disrobing him?

And you had other students touch his exposed skin?

And they made him feel pain.

And this was because you couldn't control him when he sat on the side of your class.

So when you were having your students inflict pain upon him, how many were there? 5, 10?

So when he tried to get you off of him using the only thing he had at his disposal, (a knife) you still blame him for you hurting him.

I could go on like this for hours.

[Deadmeat]

Running a group of any sort (church or no) where children are the target group is a pastime that leaves you very open to all sorts of problems, particularly when some of the children are disturbed, or problematic.

Do you have a clearance to work with children? Here in Australia it takes the form of a blue or yellow card that signifies you are allowed to work with children, the disabled, aged, or vulnerable people. In other cases, it may require a police clearance/criminal history check.

What's the context of the group you are running? You mentioned it's a support group, but what does that entail?

In any activity group with kids direct contact is a massive no-no unless physical contact is inherent in the activity - for example a judo or wrestling club, and the restrictions are very clear in relation to the degree of supervision, etc.

Frankly, I'm a little bit shocked.

[simonifrius]

Pink belly: person a gets held down by person b, while person c slaps their belly pink.
I wasn't gonna let them get but one or two shots in.

[Sam Browning]

Pink belly: person a gets held down by person b, while person c slaps their belly pink.
I wasn't gonna let them get but one or two shots in.

Okay, you obviously don't believe that what you are doing could be used against you in a court of law. So please go talk to the lawyer of your choice and maybe he can convince you how horrible it would look to a jury of laypeople.

[simonifrius]

He shouldn't have stabbed you period. But you shouldn't be giving your students pink bellys. It smacks of hazing, and the fact that you have other students participate makes it look even worse. If one of your students got hurt in class, and you were sued, any attorney would make you look like a real freak during any cross examination or deposition. For example:

How old is Jim?

He's 14, right?

And you held him down?

And you took off his clothing?

You deny that removing his gi jacket is disrobing him?

And you had other students touch his exposed skin?

And they made him feel pain.

And this was because you couldn't control him when he sat on the side of your class.

So when you were having your students inflict pain upon him, how many were there? 5, 10?

So when he tried to get you off of him using the only thing he had at his disposal, (a knife) you still blame him for you hurting him.

I could go on like this for hours.

To be clear, I didn't let anyone do any disrobing, or lifting shirts. I see your point about hazing though. I normally let the kids horseplay, and sometimes they challenge me. I know the general stigma in society is to go hands-off, but I think for boys, horseplay is important.
When his dad found out I suggested his son needed a pink belly, he gave him one.
Couple years ago, some kids pinned me down and gave me one, actually.
Legally, I know there's all kinds of trouble that could be had. The first day I met this kid, he challenged me; I think this is the first time I ever initiated it. Doesn't matter in that context, I know. I'm just explaining myself.

[simonifrius]

Okay, you obviously don't believe that what you are doing could be used against you in a court of law. So please go talk to the lawyer of your choice and maybe he can convince you how horrible it would look to a jury of laypeople.

I know it could, but given the circumstances and witnesses, I'm not worried about it.

[simonifrius]

Running a group of any sort (church or no) where children are the target group is a pastime that leaves you very open to all sorts of problems, particularly when some of the children are disturbed, or problematic.

Do you have a clearance to work with children? Here in Australia it takes the form of a blue or yellow card that signifies you are allowed to work with children, the disabled, aged, or vulnerable people. In other cases, it may require a police clearance/criminal history check.

I do have clearance, and have been trained by an outside agency in a related job I had a few years ago. We don't need licensure for this position.

What's the context of the group you are running? You mentioned it's a support group, but what does that entail?

Three things: Bible study, accountability/prayer group, and social. Kind of like Sunday school, but more liberal.

In any activity group with kids direct contact is a massive no-no unless physical contact is inherent in the activity - for example a judo or wrestling club, and the restrictions are very clear in relation to the degree of supervision, etc.

Frankly, I'm a little bit shocked.

I'm aware of this, and I do have ways of "testing the waters" with kids who aren't comfortable with physical contact or even sports (introverts) and kids who are more responsive to physical activities (extroverts). I start out by interviewing them, and I incorporate their learning style/interests into the curriculum and social time. I've been working with this kid for nine months, and I'm friends with his father. This kid is extremely extroverted and has problems following a conversation, and sitting still. He's challenged me to wrestle him several times, with his father present. His father will often come in and wrestle him if he thinks he's out of line. My way of relating to these kids is often seen as overly-playful or physical to other adults, but the kids themselves are drawn to me because of it.

I've signed waivers from the youth ministry stating the parameters I am allowed to work in, and I have not overstepped them (though, no, there is no clause therein concerning pinkbellies; there is, however a clause concerning "roughhousing" that I believe I haven't violated). There is no inappropriate activity; I try to play with them like one of their own. I've been working with kids since I was one (mom ran an in-home daycare) through various voluntary and employment positions. One of my sisters-in-law won't let her boys play with me because of the horseplay, but her husband has no problem with it. I've been called anything from a child-grown-over to a troublemaker, but I've never had a serious incident with a kid before tonight. However, most tell me that I'm wonderful with kids, and don't hesitate to leave them in my care.

[Sam Browning]

I hope you have liability insurance.