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BBC Sports: Making eye contact on the ground increases calorie burn during MMA bouts

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    BBC Sports: Making eye contact on the ground increases calorie burn during MMA bouts


    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/romo

    A new study performed by Brigham Young University's Heathen Department finds that Mixed Martial Artists who make eye contact with one another and whisper "sweet nothings" into each other's ears while grappling tend to burn twice the calories versus conventional Mixed Martial Arts tactics.

    "It's amazing, all of our assumptions about human physiology were turned upside-down", said Dr. Jack Worthington, who performed the study this past year using one hundred and twenty "mixed martial artists" and seven different "octagons". Dr. Jack Worthington's work gained mainstream notoriety in America after last year's hit documentary, "Romonation: The 21st-Century Spartans", which followed the lives of twelve real-life Las Vegas mixed martial artists over the course of one year.

    According to the study's findings, subjects' heartrates, testosterone levels and overall physical arousal increased by 50% when making eye contact, 70% when inflicting "love bites" and 10% when whispering empassioned phrases and words to each other, respectively. Dr. Worthington was also astonished to find that calories were burned at an average of twice the normal rate for MMA activity when these techniques were employed by fighters.


    (pictured: Mixed Martial Arts Legend Quinton "Rampage" Jackson is fitted for an EEG evaluation following a particularly steamy exchange)

    "We don't know if it has to do with stress, energy expenditure, or the loss of other fluids toward the end of bouts", Dr. Worthington admitted to BBC reporters, "...but we've recieved ample funding to go ahead with new tests and a new study."


    Following the release of the study, Worthington recieved letters of praise from professional mixed martial artists Jason "Mahem" Miller and Kalib Starnes.

    "Doctor, you've brought to light what my trainers and I have known for years", writes Kalib Starnes. "I keep my glutial region tight and perky by training hard, every day, looking deep into Johnny's big blue eyes and speaking from the heart. I used to have to run around the octagon to get my daily cardio, but finding the time to fit that into my routine, come on!"

    Mayhem Miller had a similar appraisal: "I lost 5 pounds in my fight with GSP, and that's when I knew I didn't have to wear my fat mask anymore, I was my own man."
    What will this new study mean for mma?

    #2
    ummm....what?

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      #3
      Mantastic!

      Comment


        #4
        Isn't it April 2nd yet?

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Deadmeat View Post
          Isn't it April 2nd yet?
          Hah, Australia...

          Comment


            #6
            good one:P

            Comment


              #7
              My favorite part was the "Heathen Department."

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                #8
                That was excellent.


                I will now be training "love bites" regularly.

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                  #9
                  Crom approves of this thread.

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                    #10
                    haha. Or other fluids during the end of the fight. seriously, the MMA gay jokes get old sometimes but I like the way this one was done intelligently.

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