Adding Insult to Injury- Best pre-fight smack talk lines

[SFVSouthpaw]

I was just relating some fight stories to a friend I haven't spoken to lately, and remembered a few funny things that happened in a fight I had some time ago.

I was out at a club a few years ago, and I saw a guy wearing a fucking Nazi jacket acting like a dick. I know, it sounds odd, but it was one of those clubs with people wearing outlandish outfits, and rooms with bondage, and shit like that. Anyway, this guy really rubbed me the wrong way, but since I didn't want to get thrown out, I let it go.

As it turns out, I leave the place, and there is nazi boy standing outside. I walk by him, and look over at him, and he gives me a look like "what the fuck are you looking at". I stop, and tell him, "do you realize you're wearing a fucking nazi jacket?". He says, "yes, what the fuck are you going to do about it?". I basically said "excuse me?". He then had the nerve to say something to me that sounded like it was in German, but since I don't speak German, I don't know if it in fact was genuine, or what the hell it even meant.

I then told him, "take that fucking jacket off or I'm going to fuck you up!". He said, "make me". This is where the magic happens.
I tell him, "You're gonna feel real stupid when you get knocked the fuck out by a guy half a foot shorter than you". (He was about 6'3 or so, and I'm barely 5'9. I'm fairly built though, and he was skinny and soft looking)

Right then, I knew it was on. So, I hit him with a teep to the groin area, which folded him in half, and I rushed forward to clinch and finish him. Some girl he was with intervened, and I decided I wasn't about to hit a girl who wasn't hitting me, and that maybe I should get the hell out of there before security shows up, or worse, the cops.

As I'm walking away at a fast pace, some fat bitch who was apparently friends with him came running after me telling me she was gonna "kick my ass". I just kept walking at a fast pace telling her I wasn't going to fight a girl. She called me a pussy, and I said, [sarcasm] "Yeah, I'm only afraid of you because you outweigh me by 100 pounds, you fat cunt!"[/sarcasm] I then turned the corner and got the fuck outta there.

I'd like to know if any of my fellow Bullies out there have ever uttered a funny line before serving a beatdown.

Let's hear some funny stories! :icon_thum

[Squerlli]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

True or not, that last part was lulztastic.

[SFVSouthpaw]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

True or not, that last part was lulztastic.

100% true bro, I swear to Helio!


:chewy:

[ADM]

Do you often go around picking fights?

[codo3500]

I was at work (i'm a bouncer), and a fight was starting outside between a guard and some drug dealer he'd just booted out, this later turned into a 15v6 fight, we were the 6 and won, but it all started with the guard going one on one with their ring leader. He was winning, and then one of the guys mates jumped in and tried to put a very sloppy RNC onto the guard.

So I ran over and swung my biggest elbow into the back of this guys head, he was dropped and out cold. Then his girlfriend runs up and king hits me, right on the jaw, it actually hurt the next day, she was a larger girl.

So I pointed at her, and said "You stupid fucking slut, I don't hit girls, but this is for you!", her boyfriend just started to get up, so I gave him another elbow and knocked the piece of shit out again, she didn't hit me again the whole fight. (and no, girls weren't included in the 15v6)

[Vorpal]

My brother boxed in the Marine corps. At 6' 4" and about 220lbs you wouldn't expect him to be the world's biggest asshole magnet but there it is. This particular exchange took place in a diner.

Assholehole (frothing mad) "I'll kick your ass motherfucker"

My brother (cooly) "Well, you can't do it from over there"

Asshole's girlfriend "He will kick your ass you know"

Brother "Shut the fuck up bitch I'll choke you and put your head through a window!"

Asshole displayed visable relief as a few more of his friends walked in and joined his table. There was whispering, finger pointing, high fiving and laughing.

My brother "You think that changes shit you stupid punk? Anyone that walks out with you is getting their ass kicked too."

We ended up waiting outside the diner two hours and finally the waitress came out and said if we didn't leave the guys inside were calling the cops.

[Silvan]

Nothing really...

I often do Sumo style intimidations before dojo matches and/or randori in Judo. It either does intimidate them or puts them off so they don't me seriously, either works for me.

[han090]

I was just relating some fight stories to a friend I haven't spoken to lately, and remembered a few funny things that happened in a fight I had some time ago.

I was out at a club a few years ago, and I saw a guy wearing a fucking Nazi jacket acting like a dick. I know, it sounds odd, but it was one of those clubs with people wearing outlandish outfits, and rooms with bondage, and shit like that. Anyway, this guy really rubbed me the wrong way, but since I didn't want to get thrown out, I let it go.

As it turns out, I leave the place, and there is nazi boy standing outside. I walk by him, and look over at him, and he gives me a look like "what the fuck are you looking at". I stop, and tell him, "do you realize you're wearing a fucking nazi jacket?". He says, "yes, what the fuck are you going to do about it?". I basically said "excuse me?". He then had the nerve to say something to me that sounded like it was in German, but since I don't speak German, I don't know if it in fact was genuine, or what the hell it even meant.

To be honest, you came out far worse from that story.

Do you really not see the irony at all in using violence to force what you think is right upon this guy?

I wish that guy had kicked your ass for you being such a knob.

You already said there was rooms with bondage, and nazi fetishism exists.

But even if it didn't, you had no right to beat the shit out of some guy for not liking his clothes. Grow up.

[SFVSouthpaw]

To be honest, you came out far worse from that story.

Do you really not see the irony at all in using violence to force what you think is right upon this guy?

I wish that guy had kicked your ass for you being such a knob.

You already said there was rooms with bondage, and nazi fetishism exists.

But even if it didn't, you had no right to beat the shit out of some guy for not liking his clothes. Grow up.

Dude, seriously, FUCK YOU. If he was wearing a military style jacket cuz that was his thing, fine. His coat had the SS lightning bolts and swastikas on it. I didn't just "not like his clothes". If you think it's cool or acceptable to wear that shit, fuck you and your parents for having you.

So, mr. fucking peaceful wished I got my ass kicked? How zen of you. Thanks for shitting up my thread you cockgobbler. Tell ya what, put on a "I hate Ni**ers" shirt and come to any major city in the USA and see how fast some black guys kick your ass for "not liking your clothes".

You're a tool. Stay in Ireland you Gay-Lick.

[TheRuss]

If you think it's cool or acceptable to wear that shit, fuck you and your parents for having you.

If you think it's cool or acceptable to beat people up for things you find uncool or unacceptable (as opposed to endangering or illegal), you need to reevaluate your system of ethics.

Seriously.

Give your head a shake.

[SFVSouthpaw]

If you think it's cool or acceptable to beat people up for things you find uncool or unacceptable (as opposed to endangering or illegal), you need to reevaluate your system of ethics.

Seriously.

Give your head a shake.

To clear things up a little for all you non-violent, self righteous tools, more was said by this asshole that I didn't include in the OP for the sake of brevity, and because frankly, it wasn't funny. I didn't feel like adding a paragraph of his anti-semitic rantings because it's not conducive to comedy. Although, some of you may find it funny that "fat bitch", was a combat boot wearing skinhead skank.

If you think it's cool or acceptable to promote and condone extreme racism and genocide, then YOU need to examine your system of ethics. The point of the thread was to get people posting lines that were said in the context of a fight, match, randori, whatever that they thought were funny or catchy. Not to discuss the politics of racism. That's OT, and I'm done with it.

Post your relevant stories, or STFU.

[Hiro Protagonist]

What the others said; violence is, per se, antisocial.

If you attack people who have not threatened or wronged you,
even if they are bastards like that one,
you are not better than them.

You could probably have fucked him much more by calling the authorities.
- Isn't displaying nazi symbols also illegal in the USA? - That way, he would have got real problems, not just a few bruises.

[SFVSouthpaw]

What the others said; violence is, per se, antisocial.

If you attack people who have not threatened or wronged you,
even if they are bastards like that one,
you are not better than them.

You could probably have fucked him much more by calling the authorities.
- Isn't displaying nazi symbols also illegal in the USA? - That way, he would have got real problems, not just a few bruises.

I have heard that there are laws regarding displaying nazi related symbols in Germany, but I don't believe anything like that exists in the USA. We have the first amendment, which guarantees the right to free speech and freedom of the press.

Here, you have the right to be a jackass. But, again, just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you should. Put on a Klan outfit (white hood, etc) and take a walk down MLK blvd in any major US city, and see how fast your "civil rights" get violated, and rightfully so.

[Chili Pepper]

So, it's Canada Day (like the Fourth of July, for my confreres south of the border) and there's about a dozen of us standing on the street, talking martial arts. Some guy wanders by, hears us and (very politely) asks us a question about martial arts.

Some other guy, drunk and belligerent, pushes him out of the way and yells at me "That's bullshit! What if take my fucking 9mm, and pop a fucking cap on your ass?" He's waving his right hand in the air in that spastic hip-hop video way that's supposed to represent... something. Hell, I don't know what.

Anyway, I'm watching that hand like a hawk, in case he starts reaching for something, and say "Yeah? You got one on you?"

"That ain't the fucking point!" he yells again. Well, that answer clinches it - he's not a threat.*


*what made him even less of a threat was
a) he now had a dozen martial artists surrounding him in a fairly tight circle; and
b) while he was yelling away, my guro had quietly walked behind him, looked him over, and then waved at me over the guy's shoulder and mouthed "no gun"

[NJM]

I have heard that there are laws regarding displaying nazi related symbols in Germany, but I don't believe anything like that exists in the USA. We have the first amendment, which guarantees the right to free speech and freedom of the press.

Here, you have the right to be a jackass. But, again, just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you should. Put on a Klan outfit (white hood, etc) and take a walk down MLK blvd in any major US city, and see how fast your "civil rights" get violated, and rightfully so.

The r34l str33t justice! Everyone watch out!