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Dealing with a stalker/madman

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    Dealing with a stalker/madman

    Hi again,

    This week's darker side:

    So yesterday I meet an old friend, and he asks me for advice on MAs and self-defense:

    Short version, apparently he is stalked by another student from his class the bad way,
    and was severely beaten up by that man just before Christmas.

    He has set legal action against his stalker, but so far, this has had no immediate consequence. The stalker can still attend their classes, and the threat seems far from being over. I can see that my friend is clearly afraid and helpless.

    Needless to say, my initial reaction was that we should go and give that motherfucker what he deserves. (My second reaction, just FTR, was then to get drunk the bad way. - Which was good, because if not, I would have been out there for blood.)
    However, as much as I'd want to take out that bastard, I realize this would only create more problems.

    So, my question is, what can only really do in such a situation?
    Apart from the obviously insufficient legal action, what can my friend do to protect himself? ( Guns are illegal in Germany.)
    Is there any way to prepare him for a situation where he would have to face his stalker?
    - He asks me for showing him some techniques whatsoever, but I think that would not serve.


    Last edited by Hiro Protagonist; 1/29/2009 3:24pm, .

    Carry a kubotan, and go over its use. Learn some basic combat (standup, clinch, ground). Yell the fuck out of the stalker's face and otherwise be assertive about your space.


      What did he do to deserve being stalked?

      Are tasers legal in Germany?

      He needs to travel with friends. If he walks around alone, he's just making himself a target. There's no real short-term MA solution. But I'd say Judo/wrestling/boxing are all cheap and widely available.



        Your friend should concentrate on situational awareness until the legal action kicks in.
        He needs to make sure he's never alone where this guy is likely to be.

        What is the stalker's motivation for attacking your friend?


          Similar situation, many years ago; I knew a nice girl of Indian heritage who had dared to win a high-school debate against another (non-Indian) girl, and who then found herself being stalked and harassed by goons hired by the other girl's rich, racist father. The goons assaulted her in a parking garage and then (about a week later) we were hanging out when she heard the sound of her own car's horn beeping; we ran outside and the goons took off, but they had damaged her car and left a threatening note on the driver's seat.

          I offered to informally bodyguard the girl in the short term and her dad hired guards as well; the police and lawyers eventually put a stop to the harassment, but she had a pretty lousy couple of weeks.

          Safety in numbers; I would recommend arranging protection until the law swings into gear. The situation sucks but bullies are much less likely to get crazy if their intended "victims" are backed up by witnesses and extra muscle.


            Last edited by Rene "Zendokan" Gysenbergs; 1/29/2009 4:15pm, .


              What about mace? I'm not clued up on that sort of thing but johnny knoxville says it's a bitch.


                Originally posted by DdlR
                Safety in numbers; I would recommend arranging protection until the law swings into gear. The situation sucks but bullies are much less likely to get crazy if their intended "victims" are backed up by witnesses and extra muscle.
                This, this, this. Maybe some of the weapons/training stuff too if he feels like it, but witnesses and muscle are imperative.

                Also, I'm not sure how the legal system works in Germany, but the fact that the other dude hasn't been arrested or slapped with a restraining order indicates to me that your friend needs a better lawyer.


                  I'll second the notion of safety in numbers- other humans can be a lot more effective than a piece of metal you carry around. If they choose to arm themselves make sure they can psychologically handle the weapon- a lot of people can't beat someone with a metal rod or cut them. Pepper spray is good in this capacity.


                    broken beer bottle.


                      Agreed with everyone else.

                      If you can swing it, have the guy stay at your place until his legal protection roles in. You and the rest of yours and his buddies offer to take the guy to class, to the store, back to the apartment, wherever.

                      At the very least, if he is worried about it looking like he's "being a pussy" explain it out that you all are concerned that something might happen to him and you want to make sure there are sufficient witnesses to back the story.

                      And keep trying to be a good friend.


                        Yea, I agree with the safety in numbers, being smart, and having situational awareness go a lot farther then learning a few techniques. Not saying it's not good to know some stuff, but being smart and having backup will probably deter a situation before it arises.

                        Also, what about stun guns, batons, mace? Can you carry that in Germany?


                          Take care of it South African style.


                            Seriously, WTF is going on in your avatar picture?


                              Originally posted by CoffeeFan
                              Seriously, WTF is going on in your avatar picture?
                              Yeh! x2



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