Most retarded arguments you've ever seen/heard?

[Hesperus]

What if you get in an argument at an anime convention, and 3 bad guys in ninja costumes wait for you with katana and get you backed into a dark alley, wide enough that they can come at you from all sides but narrow enough that you can't slip past them, and anyway it's raining and you're wearing bad shoes so it would be hard to run away, and it's too far from a public area to call for help and all your friends are someplace else, and you left your cellphone and your firearm in the car, but thank goodness the bad guys don't have guns either; but you're carrying an epee because your girlfriend is into fencing and you just bought it as a gift for her. Would fencing be the best art then? Or since they're using katana, would kendo work better?

Pull guard.

As a follow-up, what if they were using shinai, and your epee had a blunted tip for competition?

Jump guard.

[Gezere]

To use your analogy a painting can be a window into the past just because you view a painting of a napoleonic battlefield doesn't mean wars are still fought that way.

How old are most TMA Katas?

This has been a subject I tried to tackle in the past. What I found when it comes to Karate is that most the Kata are not as old as pple think. They are mainly form the late 1800s and early 1900s. Also there are so many variations of kata because pple either a) made their own changes b)purposely taught a different version taking out the "secrets" or b) made it up one the spot and gave in a similar name.

When it comes to JJ and other Koryu kata you have to keep in mind that they are not the same as the long karate or CMA forms pple think of when you say KATA. A JMA kata can be a single technique done in a prearranged form as a drill (all Kata are drills). Now when you get into those kata it becomes intresting. Basicly kata was developed all the time. For example school might have a technique then sparrs/fights another and the opponent comes up with a counter technique on the sot to counter the other technique. That technigue will now become a kata for that school with the movements starting with the technique of the other school and how to counter it. (often the new kata will be ended with some like -DOME - TATSU. Meaning to stop X technique or Defeat X technique, or given a new original name)

CMA taolu are for the most part modern and more designed for competition. Many schools of CMA had an explosion of forms when WUSHU became a competitive sport. For example, my beloved BAJIQUAN originally only had four forms. It stayed that way for a long time but now there are almost twenty. Most of the other forms were made in the last century mainly for competition and not drilling the techniques of the art.

[Emevas]

I once saw a junkie get into a 4 hour long argument over the concept of an ever expanding universe with a peanut.

[BaronVonDingDong]

That eating bananas after 4pm will mess up your chi.

[MrGalt]

What if you get in an argument at an anime convention, and 3 bad guys in ninja costumes wait for you with katana and get you backed into a dark alley, wide enough that they can come at you from all sides but narrow enough that you can't slip past them, and anyway it's raining and you're wearing bad shoes so it would be hard to run away, and it's too far from a public area to call for help and all your friends are someplace else, and you left your cellphone and your firearm in the car, but thank goodness the bad guys don't have guns either; but you're carrying an epee because your girlfriend is into fencing and you just bought it as a gift for her. Would fencing be the best art then? Or since they're using katana, would kendo work better?

As a follow-up, what if they were using shinai, and your epee had a blunted tip for competition?

Fencing wins. Unless you doubt "Hey, Spring of Trivia," which makes Mythbusters look like a third grade round of "Is so! Is not!"
http://jp.YouTube - Kendo vs Fencing

[Toby Christensen]

A man who went on about "10lb swords" and "knights being winched on to Clydesdales". When I responded that he was more than welcome to accompany me to my local Western MA and culture group he said "Tha wurdza Jees-is arawl the wepons Ineed" and proceeded to dribble out one corner of his mouth (Early dementia).

Fucking heathens.

[Toby Christensen]

I have also heard the argument that Tibet is a willing part of China.

And the one about the Windsors being the true heirs of Britain.

"The truth will out, for the truth contains lulz"

[Hesperus]

For some reason it only just occured to me that almost every style whose practicioners disparage MMA for having rules has mostly compliant drills and light contact point sparring, and otherwise more constraining sparring and competition rules.

You're new to this, aren'tcha?

[It is Fake]

This has been a subject I tried to tackle in the past. What I found when it comes to Karate is that most the Kata are not as old as pple think. They are mainly form the late 1800s and early 1900s. Also there are so many variations of kata because pple either a) made their own changes b)purposely taught a different version taking out the "secrets" or b) made it up one the spot and gave in a similar name.

When it comes to JJ and other Koryu kata you have to keep in mind that they are not the same as the long karate or CMA forms pple think of when you say KATA. A JMA kata can be a single technique done in a prearranged form as a drill (all Kata are drills). Now when you get into those kata it becomes intresting. Basicly kata was developed all the time. For example school might have a technique then sparrs/fights another and the opponent comes up with a counter technique on the sot to counter the other technique. That technigue will now become a kata for that school with the movements starting with the technique of the other school and how to counter it. (often the new kata will be ended with some like -DOME - TATSU. Meaning to stop X technique or Defeat X technique, or given a new original name)

CMA taolu are for the most part modern and more designed for competition. Many schools of CMA had an explosion of forms when WUSHU became a competitive sport. For example, my beloved BAJIQUAN originally only had four forms. It stayed that way for a long time but now there are almost twenty. Most of the other forms were made in the last century mainly for competition and not drilling the techniques of the art.

There you go.

Xingyi had three fists. This is exactly what happens when you research. You start finding out a ton of what you belive is partially true to a complete lie.

[Cy Q. Faunce]

The most retarded argument I ever heard was in a shitty bar in Austin, and was a testament to the degrading effect of alcohol on communication.

Participants A and B sat at adjacent barstools, while Participant C sat at a table just within earshot.

A and B are debating "the unwritten law", which allegedly states that if you come upon your wife having sex with another man, you can shoot them both and no jury will convict you.

C interrupts: "What's this about someone sleeping with my wife?"

A: "Don't worry. It's the unwritten law."

C: "Well, it better stay unwritten!"

[marcusdbrutus]

Anyone catch the irony in this thread?

Edit: Not a reply to Santa's post, he was getting it back on track.

[Cy Q. Faunce]

Anyone catch the irony in this thread?

Yes. It is much like Jane's Guide to Infantry Weapons, which is a hard, heavy book that really ought to be listed in Jane's Guide to Infantry Weapons.

[Toby Christensen]

Don't Shoot Me Santa's "law" he heard argued falls into "a law we'd all like on every law book in the world", not an "unwritten law".

I'd like to slash the tyres and piss in the petrol tanks of several people I know, but there's no unwritten law condoning it, for example.

[Cy Q. Faunce]

Don't Shoot Me Santa's "law" he heard argued falls into "a law we'd all like on every law book in the world", not an "unwritten law".

The sad thing about this is that you probably think your statement is witty and cool, whereas it's just sad. No, reasonable people don't want such a law on the books, any more than they think duelling is legal in Australia. You like the idea of harming others, especially women, without consequences, but this law would never apply to you; nobody would marry you with a ten-foot pole.

Also, if a law is not in the law books, it is unwritten. Your joke is based on an idiotically wrong premise.

I'd like to slash the tyres and piss in the petrol tanks of several people I know, but there's no unwritten law condoning it, for example.

And no wheelchair built to allow such activity.

[serge68]

The stupidest argument that i've heard?

Well, I had finally gotten into a bit of a row with my roommate, who will be henceforth known as X, when I was still in school at Batavia, NY. I had told him to "Shut the fuck up" because he wouldn't stop screaming at the top of his lungs about the Syracuse University Basketball team, and he would always leave the T.V. on all damned day. This thirty year old man-child had an ego so fragile that, he felt that I was "disrespecting him", regardless of the fact that he annoyed everybody (RA's included) with his incessant cries of sport fandom. He had also been through countless petty incidents, disrespecting me and the rest of my roommates, effectively making him a hypocrite.

The one time that I take a stand against bullshit, he conveniently forgets all of the times that he had disrespected up intentionally. The asshole had even threatened to fight me. I calmly and clearly reminded him that I had a foot of height, ten pounds, years of fighting experience on him. He rarely exercised, smoked and drank constantly, ate nothing but junk food, and did little else above that but watching fucking sports all day.

He wised up on that one, but decided to call me condescending and pretentious. Going off about how I was a snob (i've actually been technically homeless a couple of times... family troubles i'm afraid), he finally asked the question leading to the statement that will bring my life to a close by the sheer merit of it's stupidity. As such (and I apologize profusely for the long-windedness), I present the conversation in it's entirety:

X: "How 'come you use so many big words?"
Me: "I'm not really. I'm using a fucking eight-grade vocabulary right now. It's nothing you can't glean from a book..."
X: " ... "
Me: "Alright then. Let me ask you a question... Do. You. Read. Books.?"
X: "What!?"
Me: Do. You Read. Books?"
X: "Man, I don't NEED to read books!" (Keep in mind that this took place at a COLLEGE)
Me: "What do you mean you don't need to read boo-"

At this point, my brain began vomiting blood out through my tear ducts, making me violently cry tears of blood. My brain and body were rejecting the sheer stupidity in much the same way that it would other, more physical and tangible toxins. The worst part is that the scars and the memory of the event still haunt me to this day (I remember EXACTLY how it happened).

True story.

End anecdote.