Most retarded arguments you've ever seen/heard?

[PRC4Eva]

Used the search, didn't find anything.

Recently been talking to a guy on the Chinese internets who seemed to think that this half-assed sprawl is an example of why ground game fails to TCMA's stances.

The same guy also believes that the old masters of today have all been pressure tested already by the standards of their era and therefore have no obligation to back up any claims they make.

So, what stupid arguments have you heard?

[BoonDog]

Read this thread first. It will probably cover everything you want

Stupid things you used to believe about martial arts - No BS Martial Arts

[Vorpal]

Goddamn, I'm married. We'll run out of internet if I try to post every stupid argument I've heard.

[Excaliber]

I heard a new twist on the deadly glass ridden ground argument

Asphalt, rocks, bottles, etc. - Many "going to the ground" techniques are designed to work on pads, mats and smooth floors. Seldom do these conditions exist outside the dojo. A slap fall on asphalt will not only tear up your hand, but it can result in a shattered bones. Hitting concrete with another person landing on top of you is a painful -- often fight stopping -- experience. Now you may think "that is the idea," but that is assuming that you are controlling the fall. A cagey fighter might not let you land on top of him, and that makes it as much your problem as his. Then there is the issue of bottles and glasses that you might land on. While you might at first think, "there aren't glasses/bottles/etc laying on the floor of the bar," that's under normal conditions, but if someone tackles you and you run into another person or tip over a table, those items can and will be knocked to the ground at the same speed as you.

http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/grappling.html

[Holy Moment]

A Wing-Chun guy once told me that you can block a baseball bat with your arm because the surface of your arm and the bat are round. Ghetto physics FTW!

[Nathan McScary]

I used to occasionally train with this guy when I was in college who agrued that point sparring was more realistic than continuous sparring because in a real fight, if you get hit once you go down and it's all over.

[Hertzyscowicz]

From Excalibur's link, this one really takes the cake;

Even if it is a one-on-one situation, a basic problem arises if you are attempting to subdue someone in a self-defense situation: After you have him in a nice submission hold, how are you going to get to the phone to call the police? This is just one of the problems that arises out of not knowing the difference between self-defense and fighting, much less the difference between martial arts and fighting..

There's even a section in the article that's is based on the presumption that fighters are figuring out to counteract grappling so it's fading away now that the shock value has played out. There's even an implication that grappling is fading out of the UFC. In short, Excalibur has won the thread.

[USMC0351]

That krotty beats knife-wielding redneck. My dad proved that one wrong once.

[rordogs]

kata represent a real fighting situation
learning kata is correlated to learning how to fight

/thread

[IMightBeWrong]

A Wing-Chun guy once told me that you can block a baseball bat with your arm because the surface of your arm and the bat are round. Ghetto physics FTW!

I've heard that one, too. My old WC instructor told me that the bone you use to block with in a bong sau was the strongest bone in your body. I guess he doesn't know what a femur is? Whatever. He also told me that he's had students break baseball bats on their arms in fights before, and that one even brought a bent metal bat to class after being attacked on the street with it. He was a bit of a compulsive made-up story teller.....

Either that, or WC is the most d34dly martial art in the world...

[Demon Eyes]

Every post by Happeh. Without a doubt, the dumbest mother fucker I've ever had the displeasure of commenting to.

[Hesperus]

Every post by Happeh. Without a doubt, the dumbest mother fucker I've ever had the displeasure of commenting to.

I actually, truly believe he is an Andy Kaufman-level troll, and his work is nothing but pure genius.

[mike321]

An old one I have mentioned on these forums before: spin kick clockwise only. If you kick clockwise you pull ko/chi from your opponent, if you kick counterclockwise your ki/chi is lost to your opponent.

[Demon Eyes]

I actually, truly believe he is an Andy Kaufman-level troll, and his work is nothing but pure genius.

If he is indeed an Andy Kaufman-level troll, then he puts way too much effort in a hobby that nobody give two shits about. He's went so far as to open a website for his lunacy.
http://www.happehtheory.com/

[hungryjoe]

An old one I have mentioned on these forums before: spin kick clockwise only. If you kick clockwise you pull ko/chi from your opponent, if you kick counterclockwise your ki/chi is lost to your opponent.

I calll BS!

This is all dependent upon the respective figher's stances.

If they have mutual (same) stance (right hand fighers for instance) then this analogy holds true.

If they are opposed (opposite stance) then the spin direction dictated for pulling chi is opposite of the chun master throwing chi balls from his arse.

Of course, this is all dependent upon the before agreed upon choriographry and the location relative to the earth's axis.

Your results may vary.

Joe