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    This one was worth posting

    So, a few months ago I came up with the brilliant idea that if I was training regularly, again, I should also just go balls out with the dieting and conditioning so I could comfortably slip into any weight class once I felt ready for competition. So, I bargained an LA Fitness gym membership and personal trainer down to the point where I could afford both types of training and proceeded to give up all the food and free time that I love.

    The room with the heavy bags in LA fitness is the single greatest source of MA based hilarity in the world. Since it's a chain I assume that even the idiots are comparable wherever you go, and tonight I met a dude who shattered the douche record so badly it inspired me to post some of my adventure in the gym. (Note: I've also met a lot of good folk, including the fantastic Muay Thai coach who took me on for free for a time and ultimately got me back into MMA training.) Anyways, onto the douche.

    I'm feeling surprisingly able to move my arms after a conditioning workout and my friend who I came with is still running a little. So I go into the room with the heavy bags to punch around a little. I see this dude in a black bandana and tank top wearing 6-ounce MMA gloves and hitting the bag. When I got close I saw something of questionable form, but he seemed to be hitting hard enough and people get weird shit to work for them all the time.

    "Who do you train with?" I ask, as MMA is fairly rare around here.

    "Oh, no one. I just watch it and like to come in here to get some cardio." A reasonable explanation. And if you only watched MMA you might think that those gloves were good for a full sized heavy bag. Sadly, he keeps talking.

    "The last few physical confrontations I've been in. Well, let's just say, I made them tap out." His delivery is increadibly similar to Bob Sapps.

    "Well, I know there are a few great places to train around here." I try to be productive.

    "Nah. Ankle lock. The last street fight I was in, I got him with an ankle lock."

    "Really? It was quite some time training before I got any kind of leg lock on someone who was fighting me back." Passively trying to direct him away from his tough guy talk as I'm not sure how much more I can take with a straight face.

    "Well, it was one of those situations where it was someone who I thought was my friend and turned out not to be." I just sort of let him go on and he leaves shortly afterwards. I like this dude better than the guy who started doing that Batman fighting on the heavy bag.

    What's weird about that? Aren't leglocks how everyone deals with the old 'batman vs spiderman' debate these days?


      I hate it when you throw a spinning back fist to a bag and hit your wrist/forearm. So fucking annoying.


        Funny story Lampa. I notice the heavy bag at my gym is a focal point for douches.
        "I'm reluctant to sound like a total fa66ot as well, but my background in sculpture gave me an edge in understanding how we're expected to move thru space." - The Other Other Serge


          i love working on the bags.
          except i dont talk to anyone while doing it.

          im still looking for a place to buy some proper baggloves for a reasonable price.

          Lampa, isn't the Rickson Gracie jiu jitsu center located in LA?


            wrong thread wtf
            Last edited by illegalusername; 9/24/2008 5:47am, .



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