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Calling All UFC Villages

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    Calling All UFC Villages

    Hello, All:

    I am just back from the hospital and I have to ask you all something:

    Excuse me, is a UFC village missing its idiot?

    I was parking my car this evening, after a particularly pissy week (a telling point about my week is that I'm not allowed on my motorcycle until I resolve this neck/shoulder/arm issue).

    Also indicative that I was looking forward to nothing more than cooking a little steak for me and Max and then coming on here and reading about much my aikido sucks.

    I have a small garage and I have to pull the motorcycle out, park the car and put the bike in front of it. So, I try to minimize the amount of time the bike is blocking the alley.

    I pulled it out and backed the car in. When I come back out, this guy is standing by my bike with his hands on his hips. He's on foot --no car-- so my main worry about blocking the alley is moot.

    I say "hello" and he kind of growls or mumbles. I step around him and push the bike into the garage but when I try to lock the door, he sticks his foot into the jamb. I got the door stopped before it crushed his foot and said "is there something I can help you with?" He stepped back and I got the door locked. I said "well, goodnight then" and opened the gate (frankly keeping him in my peripheral vision).

    Suddenly, he started yelling incoherently. I turned back and he yelled something like "don't walk away when you're challenged" or something close.

    I said "I have no problem with you sir." Wrong thing apparently. He started screaming something about being a UFC fighter and he was going to mess me up because I owned a motorcycle or something. Then he started doing what I think might have been tae-bo, jumping around in the alley and snapping out knife hands in all directions, making some weird sound something like a steam engine.

    I said "hey, take it easy" and he screamed (clearly this time at least) "UFC, Mother%$^ker! DIE!" Then he charged, flailing his arms. I stepped aside, and, just as I noticed his eyes were shut, he went headfirst into the garage door.

    Now I've got an ambulance bill to pay. When one of you UFC village mayors owns up to losing track of him, I'll send you the invoice. Thanks bunches.

    #2
    Was this the guy?

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Razamataz
      Was this the guy?
      Ummm, trying to picture him with his eyes shut, bleeding on my shoes . . .

      maybe . . . maybe . . .

      hm

      nope

      Comment


        #4
        Are you super-sure it wasn't JTMoney/Coco the Monkey? Did he recite obtuse poetry at all during his tirade?

        Comment


          #5
          Ambulance bill?

          Medical care is free in Canada. Try again next time.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Axelton
            Ambulance bill?

            Medical care is free in Canada. Try again next time.
            Ambulance rides are not considered "essential" medical care, along with having teeth or being able to see. You try again.

            http://medicare-ems.ab.ca/faq.php

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Arctos1964
              Now I've got an ambulance bill to pay.
              Why do YOU have to pay it?

              Comment


                #8
                Everyone on bullshido is always so calm and kind when confronted by a spazass guy who may or may not want to hurt them. (colonelpong, may I help you sir?) I'd choke the motherfucker out for good measure. Who knows what he's gonna pull out. Knife? Gun? Then I'm some nice guy dead on the street. If someones coming at me for no reason outta the blue/jumping me, better hope you fuck me up quick, because if not, you gon' get raped! (no homo)

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by NJM
                  Why do YOU have to pay it?
                  I don't actually know if I'm going to have to pay it. I called them and they got my name and that means I'll get the invoice but I may be able to get out of it.

                  All joking aside, the poor bastard was one of our homeless. I can afford the bill and maybe he'll get the help he seems to need.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by KayRoc
                    Everyone on bullshido is always so calm and kind when confronted by a spazass guy who may or may not want to hurt them. (colonelpong, may I help you sir?) I'd choke the motherfucker out for good measure. Who knows what he's gonna pull out. Knife? Gun? Then I'm some nice guy dead on the street. If someones coming at me for no reason outta the blue/jumping me, better hope you fuck me up quick, because if not, you gon' get raped! (no homo)
                    Most people are afraid of legal culpability.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by KayRoc
                      Everyone on bullshido is always so calm and kind when confronted by a spazass guy who may or may not want to hurt them. (colonelpong, may I help you sir?) I'd choke the motherfucker out for good measure. Who knows what he's gonna pull out. Knife? Gun? Then I'm some nice guy dead on the street. If someones coming at me for no reason outta the blue/jumping me, better hope you fuck me up quick, because if not, you gon' get raped! (no homo)
                      Well, if I charge you with my eyes shut, I kind of hope you can ring my bell. I feel sorry for him, actually.

                      No homo assumed

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by NJM
                        Most people are afraid of legal culpability.
                        Well... why you gotta ruin my wonderful idea. :(

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by KayRoc
                          Well... why you gotta ruin my wonderful idea. :(
                          Don't feel bad. It was still a good idea.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            So this guy started a fight with you for no apparent reason and he was yelling stuff about the UFC?

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Kempo Chris
                              So this guy started a fight with you for no apparent reason and he was yelling stuff about the UFC?
                              I couldn't in good moral call it a fight. He was yelling all kinds of stuff about being a UFC guy and hating people who ride motorcycles, along those lines. I think he might also have been growling.

                              Comment

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