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    "that guy" thread

    There are threads about the stupid stuff that WE'VE believed...and the dumbest techniques we've ever been taught...but, what about the stupid stuff people we know believe?

    the martial arts are like politics, in my humble experience, everyone thinks they know all about them, and won't shut the fuck up until everyone agrees with their point of view...

    So, without further ado, i give you the account of a gentleman in my geometry class:

    When your reach 3rd dan in any traditional martial art (Karate, Jujutsu, judo, brazilian jiu jitsu, muay thai, aikido, all the arts he listed as examples) You learn the "five strikes of death". Which are five strikes that will kill you...supposedly.

    Bruce lee was killed by buddhist monks who knew animal style kung fu. when i brought up that buddhist monks were pacifists, and bruce lee died of anaphalactic shock, he brought up the five strikes of death again.

    Wrestling is completely useless in a real fight, because all you have to do is arch your back and you can escape, or just plant your legs and elbow --> spine.

    You can just bite to get out of an armbar.

    Good punch defense = sidestepping or ducking, hitting a nerve in the neck, and then a standing armbar.


    "butterfly kicks" (think of every shitty kung fu movie you've seen) are effective in real life.

    His friend is a drunken kung fu master, who knows how to neutralize my mma/b.j.j skills.


    He is also the guy with "secret" declassified military documents that he printed off the internet, who smokes more reefer then you would believe, hasn't showered in forever, and has hair down to hte small of his back.

    From my brother in law:

    Ninjitsu is the best/most feared martial art. Its ridiculed so much because its so feared.

    Tang Soo Do is teh dedly.

    From my actual brother:

    Grappling is inneffective in a real fight, because he would just hit me in the sack.

    From my best friend (tkd bb):

    Grappling doesn't matter, because when him and i spar, we don't allow punches to the face, and when he gets gloves, i'll see what it means to be a blackbelt.

    From another family member:

    Jujutsu is combat judo.

    Aikido is teh dedly.

    thats all i can think of right now, but i'm sure there is more.

    Share your horror stories ;p
    (this thread was razz's idea)

    PROOF that I'm not a completely useless poster:
    http://www.bullshido.net/forums/show...0&postcount=58


    Originally posted by Cy Q. Faunce
    3moose1 is correct. Sig THAT, you fucker.

    Originally posted by sochin101
    I went out with a delightful young woman who was on a regimen of pills that made her taste of burned onions.
    That is not conducive to passionate cunnilingus, my friend, let me assure you.
    Originally posted by HappyOldGuy
    I agree with moosey

    #2

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      #3
      I don't talk to people about martial arts outside the gym or if I know them well.

      Problem solved.

      Comment


        #4
        If you can't laugh at yourself,
        Others will be happy to do it for you. :evil6:

        The 2 most abundant elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.


        Comment


          #5
          A friend of mine constantly tells me about his cousin who trained "the real" five animal style in Mexico city; during one of the UFC's (I forget which) someone mocked a crane kick. This sent him into a blind rage, ranting about how mma'ers don't understand the true power of five animal, especially crane, which gets mocked. He further elaborated that his cousin could beat half of the assholes in the UFC if he did some basic cardio.

          Another friend of mine left BJJ to "learn nunchucks"

          Another guy I know does BJJ, but he happens to be homosexual. Hilarious, right? Every time I say "...BJJ wins again?" I think of him. He also posts on this very site too. I think he posts under the name "3moose1".

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            #6
            A young fellow in my BJJ class is still under the impression that Shaolin monks are the ultimate deadly warriors. He has not be pursaded by arguments about them not competing or that he just watches too many movies.

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              #7
              From ex training partner: Dim Mak and Chi blasts are real. He apparently knew a guy on campus who could do them. He could move/bump you back with his chi to prove it.

              From other ex training partners "Don't mess with the Ninpo guys. They're the real deal, and don't mess around."

              From co-worker: He knows a guy who has the real deadly. Trained in styles that they don't even allow in the UFC. He'd kill kickboxers or mma guys.

              From ex-instructor: (Edit)Strike to spine/to the back of the neck = Fight over.
              Last edited by Ryno; 5/23/2008 4:51pm, .

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Ryno
                Spine to the back of the neck = Fight over.
                If someone tried to spine me in the back of the neck, I'd pelvis them right in the coccyx.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Ryno
                  From ex-instructor: Spine to the back of the neck = Fight over.
                  Was he suggesting you strike the back of your opponent's neck with your spine?

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Razamataz
                    Was he suggesting you strike the back of your opponent's neck with your spine?

                    Rip out their spine ala Mortal Kombat, and beat them about the head and neck with it?
                    If you can't laugh at yourself,
                    Others will be happy to do it for you. :evil6:

                    The 2 most abundant elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.


                    Comment


                      #11
                      Multiple TSD Masters:

                      "You can learn everything MMA can teach you from Tang Soo hyung." (Wish I were kidding on this one)

                      "If you're not learning grappling from hyung, you're not looking hard enough, trying hard enough or practicing hard enough."

                      "You don't 'need' to practice sparring with punches to the face or with hard contact. Anyone here (in the class) can go hard when they need to."
                      Last edited by G-Off; 5/23/2008 3:53pm, .

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by 3moose1
                        When your reach 3rd dan in any traditional martial art (Karate, Jujutsu, judo, brazilian jiu jitsu, muay thai, aikido, all the arts he listed as examples) You learn the "five strikes of death". Which are five strikes that will kill you...supposedly.

                        --Duh, you can't just leave that shit in the hands of a 1st or 2nd dan. Are you trying to get people killed?!?!

                        Wrestling is completely useless in a real fight, because all you have to do is arch your back and you can escape, or just plant your legs and elbow --> spine.

                        --Perhaps this is one of his mating rituals.

                        You can just bite to get out of an armbar.

                        --After getting your arm broken? I'm thinking this guy also spends a lot of time trying to bite his own ear.

                        His friend is a drunken kung fu master, who knows how to neutralize my mma/b.j.j skills.

                        --Good, sounds like he needs some back up.

                        Ninjitsu is the best/most feared martial art. Its ridiculed so much because its so feared.

                        --DAMNIT!!! Who let that secret out?

                        Grappling is inneffective in a real fight, because he would just hit me in the sack.

                        --He means tickle, not hit.

                        From my best friend (tkd bb):

                        Grappling doesn't matter, because when him and i spar, we don't allow punches to the face, and when he gets gloves, i'll see what it means to be a blackbelt.

                        --We get enough shit for TKD, don't make it worse.
                        I really love the TKD one since I use my wrestling on every idiot at my dojang who thinks grappling doesn't matter.

                        Also, sorry about all the -- crap but I'm too lazy to split out individual areas to quote.

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                          #13
                          If Swtichblade would post his "Bruce Lee" story.....

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                            #14
                            Killing Jaguar Kung-fu - No BS Martial Arts
                            Krotty at the DMV? - No BS Martial Arts
                            BJJ in a pool - No BS Martial Arts

                            Fuck you guys I'm lazy.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              When Human Weapon was on my brother-in-law (who has absolutely no experience in any kind of MA) used to reference that show as if it was scripture, but yet didn't like Fight Quest because "it was too boring, all they wanted to do was fight. They didn't learn any of the really deadly moves"

                              And I've heard from multiple TKD, Karate, TSD instructors that no-touch sparring is better than full contact because if you can perfect your technique enough to not hit someone, then you'll have no trouble actually hitting someone if you have to

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