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Gym Blues: A Rant

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    Gym Blues: A Rant

    I've been on Bullshido.net for as long as I've been taking Karate. I've taken in all the good advice from the amateur/pro fighters, instructors, bullies, military.... all in my quest to get in shape and in the process, become somewhat more than just a mediocre badass.
    Why Karate if I've been reading Bullshido all this time you ask? Cuz I can do it on my lunch break, and spend my evenings and weekends with my wife and kids, that's why. Oh yeah, and I'm enjoying myself. But this thread isn't about Karate at all, it's about me feeling like a wuss.
    You see, I read a thread called So you want to Train... by a one Omega the Merciless and was inspired. I had little options for the time I was able to put in, but I wanted to lift, I wanted to increase my stamina, but most of all.... I wanted to spar (cue slow piano melody). So I googled, and I googled, and I googled. Ultimately, google was useless and I just used my company's corporate discount to join a gym two blocks from my job (remember, lunch break work outs only with few exceptions). Now, its a nice big gym chain, and besides all the equipment, they have different classes. Before signing up (contract, bangs head on desk), I asked the signer upper about the classes. I'm a guy, he's a guy so I thought that he'd look out for my interests as far as man-ego is concerned. So when I asked about the Thursday and Friday lunch hour classes, he said, "sure, there are a lot of guys who take them. they are very challenging, one of my favorites" (the Thursday class was his favorite).
    So I sign the contract, ready to exercise a total of 5 days per week in an attempt to become a good Karateka. Some quick background information, the tipping point which pushed me to join the gym was when I was doing kata and got gassed. It was quite embarrassing. After I signed the contract and was going to get what may possibly have been my last fast food burger for a long time, I see my signer upper talking to his co-workers. Now, something must have happened when I turned around. I'm guessing one of three things, a Jujitsu master put him is such a serious wristlock that he could not straighten his arm, he was trying to imitate a velociraptor, or he was the uber ghey. Not that there's anything wrong with that (ala Seinfeld), but remember, I had trusted him to look out for my man ego regarding the classes, and I realized that a person who imitates velociraptors in public may not be the best person for the job. This raised a red-flag, but I was not dissuaded (contract, remember?). You may be asking, why do you need classes to train cardio? I racka disciprine, that's why.
    So today, on my lunch break, I go to my first class. I get there early and the instructor is there and I introduce myself. She recommends I warm up on the treadmill before class, and I do. When I come back however, the room is lined with these:





    These

    these


    and these




    And I'm thinking to myself "oh hell no". What makes matters worse, is that the class quickly fills with women. Did I not ask about that? And yes, there was music playing really loud ( I like to move it move it) and the instructor had one of those head piece microphones. To be fair, there were two other guys there. One looked like it was his first day, and by the looks of it, he wasn't going back, and the other guy was in very good shape and felt very comfortable.
    Look, I'm not trying to come off as a sexist or a chauvinist or an insecure butt face, but I couldn't help myself thinking that the guys working on the Smith machines and the free weights, who had a perfect view of us because we were enclosed by very large and clean panes of glass, were snickering at me as I lifted the 10lb weighted bar over my head for two minutes before spending the next two minutes jumping on and off a breast shaped piece of rubber (think Danielsan practicing the crane kick at the beach).
    In reality the work out was great. Big ups on the cardio and muscle toning activities. And once we put the toys away, we did some serious stuff like alligator walks, alligator walks + pushups, lunges, crab walks and so on. I will be sore tomorrow, I will be in better shape, but I don't know if I can bring myself to do it again.
    My proposed work out for next week

    Monday - Karate
    Tuesday - weights
    Wednesday- Karate
    Thursday - weights
    Friday -Cardio kick boxing (STFU, I get to hit a heavy bag the whole time)
    Sat and Sun - Solo karate at home as time permits

    And maybe I'll stop using my home treadmill as a towel rack and actually run. (did a mile and a quarter last night).

    k, rant over. Thanks for reading

    #2
    sounds fine to me. What's the plan on your weights days?

    Comment


      #3
      I'd do the cardio class or run. It's good to be strong, but it's very possible to be able to bench 400 lbs. and still be an out of shape fatass that gets winded walking up the stairs. If you're out of shape, your overall health and appearance will improve faster with cardio.

      Comment


        #4
        Whoever invented that stepper thing is a fucking genius. Seriously, how many women have shelled out cold hard cash for one of these things, that doesn't do anything that a cinderblock or a stack of books couldn't?

        Comment


          #5
          I get two personal training sessions free with membership. I guess I'll have a trainer give me a routine, show me form etc.. I haven't lifted since H.S. I have no idea where I stand.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Gbemi
            I get two personal training sessions free with membership. I guess I'll have a trainer give me a routine, show me form etc.. I haven't lifted since H.S. I have no idea where I stand.
            Watch those guys dude . . . they are likely to put you on frickin machines and 12 re DB curls.

            Comment


              #7
              Think of all the asses you'll be missing out on if you don't go to the cardio class.

              Comment


                #8
                eh, as long as your not wearing a thong to class I don't think you should feel emasculated for taking this class. As you said, your stamina sucks and you need a class structure to keep at it and this seems to be the only thing availible for your time frame.

                Granted it isn't a super high intensity, fighter's workout that causes you to vomit blood then celebtate your manliness by consuming a live cow, but you have limited options.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by devil
                  Think of all the asses you'll be missing out on if you don't go to the cardio class.
                  This man speaks wisdom.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    How is your weight? Some guys at the gym amaze me. A new guy will come in (usually in January, as part of his New Year's Resolution). He wants to get in shape. He goes straight to the weights. I'll watch him doing curls and tricep extensions while his belly hangs down around cock level. I want to tell him, "Goddammit, put down the barbells and go get on the treadmill, you fat bastard! And how about eating a piece of fruit? It won't kill you."

                    But I stay quiet, since I suspect he wouldn't appreciate my motivational message. Lifting is great, but if you have limited time, RUN.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by devil
                      But I stay quiet, since I suspect he wouldn't appreciate my motivational message. Lifting is great, but if you have limited time, RUN.
                      Shiznit you can lose plenty of weight by lifting (not curls and tricep extensions).

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Weights certainly do help you lose weight but if the guy's penis is playing peekaboo from behind his gut, he probably should be on the treadmill too

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by devil
                          .... if you have limited time, RUN.
                          Or Row, much less impact and I love it. I hate running, abhor it but I can row a 1000m and love it. Dunno, I just think it's less..... painful to row then run.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            or go here.....

                            http://www.crossfitbrooklyn.typepad.com/

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by ignatzami
                              Or Row, much less impact and I love it. I hate running, abhor it but I can row a 1000m and love it. Dunno, I just think it's less..... painful to row then run.
                              You row 1km and you're proud of yourself?

                              Comment

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