Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

BJJ in a pool

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    BJJ in a pool

    I go to a gym, some jewish YMHA thing, it's basically a cheap Bally's with a HUGE pool. Anyway I'm doing laps in the pool today and one of the life gaurds is talking about BJJ to some chick. I'm resting by the edge of the pool and their talking no more then 4 feet away from me. Here's what he says.

    Life gaurd: So yeah, basically Henzick Grazie (i shit you not, thats what he said) invented BJJ after being a swimmer and learning Juijitsu from a farmer. All the grappling in BJJ is most effective in the water, thats why it looks so much smoother then wrestling.

    Girl: Ooooooh! Woooooooow! *drool*

    LG: Yeah I know alot about martial arts, I've been a fighter for a pretty long time...

    Me: Helio Gracie and his brother Carlos founded BJJ after learning judo from a japaneese foreigner that opened up a judo school in Brazil with the help of their father.

    LG: Yeah well some people think that but...

    Me: But nothing. Also, BJJ has nothing to do with swimming. It's strictly grappling. Water has nothing to do with it, and Helio Gracie was sickly and physically weak up about until he was 18, so he wasn't do much swimming before or after that.

    LG: Listen, I don't know what you heard but your obviously misinformed buddy.

    Me: Can you prove it?

    LG: Ofcourse it's online.

    Me: What site?

    LG: Umm... BJJ.com or any BJJ site.

    Me: Oh how obvious... do you even take BJJ??

    LG: I did for about a year?

    Me: Oh yeah, so what belt are you?

    LG: I got to 2nd degree black belt.

    Me: Okay your full of shit, in BJJ it takes an average of two years inbetween each belt and being a black belt would mean your a certified instructor. What are you 18? 19?

    LG: So, it just means I'm good.

    Me: No it means your a liar.

    LG: Do you always step into other peoples conversations?

    Me: Do you always talk out of your ass about things you have no fucking clue about?

    LG: Listen, my 2nd degree BB is real, don't mess with me, I'm a certified lethal weapon.

    Me: Your a certified pathological lying inflated ego jerk off. Just stop lying already.

    LG: You know what, I could take you out but your not even worth it, just remember you got lucky today... punk.

    Me: Yeah sure, whatever you say ya second degree dumb fuck...

    Girls stares at the life gaurd for a few seconds and walks away saying "yeah I gotta go do some things right now..." and I just swim off to do more laps. Here's the great part though. I leave the pool and the life gaurd is staring me down. I get to the door, turn, wave and smile to the guy and leave. This asshole actually decides to follow me.

    LG: What the hell is your problem man!? You trying to get killed!?

    Me: What? Listen man, don't lie to chicks just so you can cop some pussy, and she wasn't all that good looking anyway, just next time don't talk out of your ass.

    LG: Don't do this man! Don't make me hurt you!

    Me: The fuck? What are you retarded? Go drown or something jerk off. Don't get pissed at me because your a liar.

    The he does the weirdest fucking thing ever. He yells DBX style breaks out into a funky horse stance, pulls his fist up, flexes his hand so hard it shakes. Does this for a good 10 seconds and then tries to punch me in the chest. I side step, he hits the wall behind.

    LG: *girls shreak* Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!

    Me: Ha! Dick! Feel smart don't ya?

    LG: Shut the fuck up I think I broke my hand! Fuck! Owww!

    Me: God your an asshole...

    This fuck halls ass into the little life gaurd/employee whatever the fuck office. I swear to god I heard his sobbing even when he closed the door. All the old people freaked out. So who wants to bet by tommorow the way his hand got fucked up was from fighting a bear in the water? Or better yet he got jumped by gang members... in a pool.

    Further evidence that a species can devolve.

    #2
    Damn teenagers. Was he Jewish (just out of curiosity)?

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Lily
      Damn teenagers. Was he Jewish (just out of curiosity)?
      Fucked if I know or care.

      Oh by the way, RACIS!
      (sorry, it's a NY'er thing)

      Comment


        #4
        I know about the Racis thing.

        I found his story very funny, did he seem to you like he really believed that bullshit?

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Lily
          I know about the Racis thing.

          I found his story very funny, did he seem to you like he really believed that bullshit?
          Pretty sure he did, then again he was trying to BS his way into that chicks pants so who knows? I'm pretty sure though that as of today he understands how much he sucks. Hopefully.

          Comment


            #6
            I've heard shit like that in bars. Some even go as far as saying they are training to be in the UFC (I shit you not, I've heard it before and one of my friends bought into it.) He deserved to have his hand broken and I would've gone as far as to pee on him while he was crying about his broken hand. People like that deserve what they ultimately get.

            Comment


              #7
              You should organise a NYCTD at that pool on the day he's on duty. Then proceed to roll in the water.

              Hey! Maybe the MEGA TD could be held there?

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Lily
                You should organise a NYCTD at that pool on the day he's on duty. Then proceed to roll in the water.

                Hey! Maybe the MEGA TD could be held there?
                Thats sounds like an idea for a gay swingers porn...
                We'll make MILLIONS!!!
                But the only people who'dparticipate in that are Kempofist, Vinny, and sirc... damn it.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Squerlli
                  The he does the weirdest fucking thing ever. He yells DBX style breaks out into a funky horse stance, pulls his fist up, flexes his hand so hard it shakes. Does this for a good 10 seconds and then tries to punch me in the chest. I side step, he hits the wall behind.

                  LG: *girls shreak* Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!

                  Aikido wins again?

                  Comment


                    #10
                    As if some of you actually believe this story-brutal.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      When you say 'this story' are you referring to the Life Guard's story or Squerlli's thread?

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by GuiltySpark
                        As if some of you actually believe this story-brutal.
                        Hey, beleive what you want. It's not something I'm going to galavant and prove with documentation and video or anything. Just something funny that happened to me that I thought would give some of the guys here a quick laugh.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          As embellished as the dialogue may sound, I've known New Yorkers. They actually talk like that to each other. And I myself have punched a wall attempting to hit a guy. Whatever, it's just a story.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by switchblade
                            As embellished as the dialogue may sound, I've known New Yorkers. They actually talk like that to each other. And I myself have punched a wall attempting to hit a guy. Whatever, it's just a story.
                            I hope I didn't try and make it seem like I was a tough guy or anything but when you hear retarded shit like that... come on, pretty much everyone else here would've acted the same way.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Squerlli
                              I hope I didn't try and make it seem like I was a tough guy or anything but when you hear retarded shit like that... come on, pretty much everyone else here would've acted the same way.

                              Nah, I try to speak to people with respect, and prefer to mind my own business. Avoid trouble if I can.


                              Unless I'm drunk. Then I'm a complete asshole.

                              Comment

                              Collapse

                              Edit this module to specify a template to display.

                              Working...
                              X