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Do the most “peaceful” martial arts always have the biggest cockbags?

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    Do the most “peaceful” martial arts always have the biggest cockbags?

    Prior to MMA I used to be a big internet Aikido guy, posting on Aikido forums and enthusiastically discussing deep O-Sensei quotes. Over a period of time in no particular order, I put together a small FAQ of some common questions and responses inspired by actual Aikioka online. It's kinda something that would probably keep growing, depending on how many things come back to me as I sober up.

    Question: Is MMA considered true martial arts?


    Bullshidoka:Question: I heard full-contact sparring develops improved conditioning and endurance?

    Bullshidoka:Question: Can my sensei handle a UFC cage fighter who trains for the ring?

    Bullshidoka: Short answer: Yes. It is known Ultimate Fighters put too much weight behind their strikes, making it very easy to throw them.


    Question: Is tea ceremony similar to weight lifting? Which one should I spend time doing to improve my Budo skills?

    Bullshidoka: Aikido is an art that is separate from the physical world. Bulky muscles will only drain your aiki energy. If one wants to be only muscular, one can simply take steroids. Tea ceremony on the other hand will open up your soul. It is an art. Like Aikido, and fine painting, and lots of marijuana.

    Question: Bullshidoka:Question: Is it possible to train in mixed martial arts and still be a good martial artist?

    Bullshidoka: No. It is impossible to simultaneously train in more than one art. Any attempt to do so will lead to failure in all arts. One must focus on one art, and upon mastering it, move on to another. Only this way could legendary warriors master Karate, Taekwondo, Judo and calligraphy. That is a true mixing of martial arts. Not the ultimate cage fighting championship sport you may see on pay-per-view or YouTube.
    Last edited by Aikicat; 1/18/2008 9:25pm, .

    #2
    I sincerely hope the majority of that was satire.

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      #3
      So, OP. You've decided to consolidate all the cliched answers that people have been known to give?

      Would be good if motherfuckers didn't do it every other week.

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        #4
        kind of a gay thread title...:gaygay::jerkit2yf

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          #5
          Originally posted by Angry_Spastic
          I sincerely hope the majority of that was satire.
          I sincerely hope the majority of your post concerning the satirical nature of the original post was satire.

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            #6
            Hilarious. A+, sir.

            And to answer the question the topic title poses, I'd say "yes." It's the smug certainty that comes from believing absolutely in your art being infallible, and having no opportunity to ever be proven wrong combined with the higher moral ground of defeating someone without harming them and belief that you yourself are a special super-human being capable of using chi energy far beyond the realm of ordinary human consciousness.

            I think actually part of it is that personally, I love seeing a humble technician defeat a cocky brawler that relies on brute strength any day. It's why I (and plenty of other MMA fans on the Sherdog forums) love seeing Melvin Guillard and Tito lose, and Machida and GSP win. "Non-violent" art forms just seem to take this a step further, which is why they have any appeal at all. But by moving from "technique > brute strength" to "magical superhuman powers > legitimately evolved fighting," they just move into LARP jackassery.

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              #7
              WTF....?

              But his style field!?!?

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                #8
                Originally posted by Aikicat


                Bullshidoka: Short answer: No. True modern Bujutsu lies in the way of the M16 and heavy bombers.
                QFT (hey jerky! the message you wrote is too short! pleaselengthen your post to at least 5 characters or DIE)

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                  #9
                  There is a multitude of killer one-liners in that post that I, the laughter stricken pest, will certainly put to good use :D Well done!

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                    #10
                    Wheres this forum...

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                      #11
                      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRbeUnn-AUA

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                        #12
                        Only cockbags push/advertise themselves as being "peaceful"?

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                          #13

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by Meok
                            Only cockbags push/advertise themselves as being "peaceful"?
                            This is very true. Look at that jackass George Bush always on about his "Peaceful intentions".

                            BTW, The Question, I really like your avatar. That young lady has a lovely, bubbly fun kind of smile and very nice eyes too.

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                              #15
                              No, 90% of aikidoka I met are fairly arrogant and believe that crap.

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