Weirdest moments in training?

[PasleyJS]

Instead of a traditional Muay Thai warm-up one day our instructor decided Yoga was a good idea.

Within 10 minutes of "downward dogs" and "front facing warriors" everybody had let loose hellacious farts (except me of course)

[nasreal]

I saw this thread and immediately a VERY wierd moment popped into my head, immediately followed by the thought that I should never share it with anyone.

you can tell us, we won't tell anyone else.

[Purpleskunk]

Instead of a traditional Muay Thai warm-up one day our instructor decided Yoga was a good idea.

Within 10 minutes of "downward dogs" and "front facing warriors" everybody had let loose hellacious farts (except me of course)

yea as if holding farts in jump ropes werent hard enough! i hate it when i am gasy in pre-training

[hpr]

I saw this thread and immediately a VERY wierd moment popped into my head, immediately followed by the thought that I should never share it with anyone.

You tease. First you put out, then demand warmth, carssing and hard cash.

[Merck]

So during the part of my BJJ class where everybody gets to roll, my instructor pat is rolling with a senior student named eric. About one minute into the match another senior student yells from the sideline, "Crotch him Eric, use your crotch!"... this is funny, and slightly akward, but the situation further degenerates when our female student adds, "Crotch him like a black guy!" pat our instructor just turns and says, "I thought I was!"

[Green Meanie]

We were doing partner assisted flexibility/stretching stuff. That night the too senior students/asst instructors were me an this girl, which essentially meant we were working together. So we were doing this arm twist thing where you roll your shoulder forward and palm up. Your partner is supposed to twist your arm more, and generally this requires holding the arm against your body for leverage. Well she started twisting my arm and the next thing I know, I have a handful of breast. I don't say anything and move on. She does the other side and same thing. By the end of class I don't know if she is lonely or clumsy.

oh good god that's what happened to me too.

[Gabrael]

hmm doing throws with another red belt (although i worked overtime and she skidded through on her butt).
me being a lesbian, tattoo'd 21yr old woman and her being a ditzy 16yr old.
she really wasn't getting the hang of the stepping hip throw and i had to keep showing her it in slow motion.
got tired of this quite quickly and just said, "look, do it quickly and you can get more momentum like this",

i then proceeded to grab her left breast and wrench it into her armpit.

we never spoke of it, though i felt like i had mangled the natural form of her breast.
i imagined it having the shape of my hand like putty.
i havent checked.

[1point2]

<necro for great justice>

Farting while kicking someone in the head during sparring. They look at you weird for weeks.

Instructor ankle-locking me in front of class. It's my first time being the demo-uke; I'm a teenager. He's talking for a while with my ankle held but not cranked, then during his description he says "and you lift upwards like so..." and cranks it slowly. Unfortunately, my stage fright somehow killed the circuit in my head that tells me to tap when it hurts. He keeps explaining as he cranks harder, until he looks over at me. I look back. He cranks a little more. I still don't get it. He says, "If it hurts, you know...you can tap." I slammed my hand against the mat tapping so hard that my hand hurt for the rest of class. All the students watching thought it was hilarious.

[Sri Hanuman]

There was this one time a heavy-set side mounted me in BJJ class. I was trying to get out from under his belly, but it was large, and pressing into my face, so when I exhaled while sliding out, I gave him a razz. We haven't spoken since.

There was another time when I had to do a demo at College of Lake County, (IL,) for their Japanese cultural day. About 200 people in the audience. I do a spinning heel kick, slip on the floor, fall flat on my ass and let out a fart. Worst day of your life is when some 200 people are pointing and laughing. Worse yet, is when it's captured on video.

[Holy Moment]

This didn't actually occur in training, but my wrestling coach told us about it during training so I'll tell you guys about it:

My wrestling coach is a gym teacher, and during the day a non-athlete approached him about our program. He (The kid) said that we could be a state-caliber team if we upped our conditioining. He then went on to claim that his Karate instructor had been watching our practices and that he had said we didn't work out hard enough. That's obviously bullshit, because even in the most intense practices we would've been bound to notice the creepy man watching us through the window.

We laughed and laughed about this. We also sent an offer to the karate instructor to show up, but he never did. This incident made me realize that ever Taekwondo dork in the school probably fantasizes about walking into the wrestling room during practice and mopping the floor with us.

[omoplatypus]

i saw a 7 year old kick an instructor right in the ding ding when the instructor was holding a paddle target.

[hpr]

There was this one time I made a purple belt tap. I'm still a (bad) white belt. We were doing "winner stays on the mat" sparring and he had been on the mat since the start. This was during Langhi's camp and the session was about to be over pretty soon. Mr. Purple belt wanted to spar with Langhi, but before that he needed to get off mat and this would happen only if he lost. So, on my turn he decided to call it quits.

What happened was very awkward. I was thrown (mentally) totally off balance by the fact that he just laid there and waited for me to submit him. Then, I went for some silly submission he couldn't approve. I got reprimanded ("Now is that a very gentleman thing to do?") and my cheeks were burning with the shame of not being able to do anything sensible and being laughed. I did a half-hearted collar choke which he tapped to just to make it stop and I was left wondering what the fuck just happened.

[kengodamnit]

There was this one time a heavy-set side mounted me in BJJ class. I was trying to get out from under his belly, but it was large, and pressing into my face, so when I exhaled while sliding out, I gave him a razz. We haven't spoken since.

There was another time when I had to do a demo at College of Lake County, (IL,) for their Japanese cultural day. About 200 people in the audience. I do a spinning heel kick, slip on the floor, fall flat on my ass and let out a fart. Worst day of your life is when some 200 people are pointing and laughing. Worse yet, is when it's captured on video.

bwahahahaha YOU WIN ..ahahahah...man i nearly puked because of all the laughing


and MY weirdest moment was a beautiful woman in her late 20's who sparred MT with me regularely ( because my weight was around 130 back then) , produced the most disgusting rotten egg shit smells the entire time we sparred and worked the pads, she knew it,and she knew i knew, it was so awkward

[Beorn]

My weirdest moments in martial arts all come from my TKD days. I first started when I was 14, and about a year in my instructor was a banging hot 21 year old with double Ds. There was the time that we were demonstrating an escape from a collar grab with both hands; she told me to really turn my wrists into it and I ended up pulling her uniform open.

There was the time that she forgot a sports bra and was leading us in jumping jacks and I sprouted wood in the front row.

My personal favorite though, was the time she asked me to help her stretch. She was doing the strech where you put your leg on a person's shoulder and they walk towards you until you are getting a good stretch. The thing of it is, she is so flexible she could put her foot flat on the wall behind her with her leg fully streched, so I end up standing about 2 inches away from her with her legs in a posistion I didn't know girls could be in. It was so awesome and so awkward at the same time my teenage brain exploded.

Also, there was a lady in the class for a while who had even larger boobs, to the point that they basically covered all the legal areas to strike on the torso. Sparring her was never good, except that it was always awsome due to the TKD bounce.

The TKD bounce and boobies, proof that there is a god

[marcusdbrutus]

A girl came in to try BJJ a couple years back. She was Chinese, but somehow had awesome knockers, and was very attractive in all other respects. Anyways, first day rolling I got paired with her, and guys taking a break were yelling instructions to help her out.

So I'm in her half guard, letting her try to get back to full while the other guys coach. She gets pretty nervous when the guys yell at her, but otherwise she's doing well.

She gets back to full, and one of the boys yells entirely too loud "NOW, HEAD CONTROL!". She proceeds to lose her shit and pull my relaxed head directly into aforementioned knockers. The things were big enough that if she had held it there for a few seconds, I probably would have tapped or suffocated.

In an unrelated story, I asked her out about a week later and we were together for 2-ish years. Photo evidence of the existence of her AND her boobs:



Also, she liked to play with sharp things.