Weirdest moments in training?

[money]

When I was teaching Kumdo, some guy walked in mid-afternoon ater the lunch crowd had left. He asked me if I knew Jesus. I said no. Then he asked me if I wanted to meet him, and I said yeah, sure. Then he told me that Jesus would kick my ass. Then he left. The end.

I believe the correct answer to that question is "Not anytime soon you crazy fuck" - you're lucky you didn't get shot. :tinfoil:

[LThornton]

Rolling with your hot ex: awkward.
Popping a boner when you do it: REALLY awkward.

[bobyclumsyninja]

I told him that it was a good idea, and would he like to learn kung fu here and now? He said he did, so I told him about the compulsory fitness test, you know the one... the five mile cross country run in the dark?

very Hunter Thompson of you. +rep for the dark humor.

[Fearless Ukemi]

When I was teaching Kumdo, some guy walked in mid-afternoon ater the lunch crowd had left. He asked me if I knew Jesus. I said no. Then he asked me if I wanted to meet him, and I said yeah, sure. Then he told me that Jesus would kick my ass. Then he left. The end.

That might have been me. No lie.

[Redtail]

wtf was she telling you in an ann frank kinda way, or was she telling you like oops...i made a poopie... because hearing that after getting a RNC is kinda ...

It was that horribly embarassed kind of way that only a young girl being the ONLY girl in a room full of guys that consrantly rip on each other can feel. I got her to the bathroom and got the Jrs instructor to call her mom. Her mom told me later that there was no PMS, she was just stretching out and looked down, there it was. The funny part was when we told the guys not to make any jokes when she came out it created a 20 ft force field around the bathroom door wich no male could penetrate.

[Drunken Bear]

I was warming up a class about 10 years ago and we had gotten into a little stretching. So there a couple of nice looking younger women in the class, both in the front row within 5 feet of me. I was moving everyone from front splits to a sitting split and as soon as my ass hit the ground I let out a blood curdling fart, the likes of which you can only imagine. The hard wood floor managed to amplify the sound exponentially so that people blocks away probably heard it as well. People were laughing so hard that they were literally rolling on the floor.

Heard about that one for weeks.....

[Hedgehogey]

It was that horribly embarassed kind of way that only a young girl being the ONLY girl in a room full of guys that consrantly rip on each other can feel. I got her to the bathroom and got the Jrs instructor to call her mom. Her mom told me later that there was no PMS, she was just stretching out and looked down, there it was. The funny part was when we told the guys not to make any jokes when she came out it created a 20 ft force field around the bathroom door wich no male could penetrate.

I was gonna continue with theme and make a 'did you tell her to get in the showers' or 'capoeira macht frie' joke but that's actually kindof sweet. Did she stay in that class?

Current Music: Dr Steel-Build the Robots

[btbl]

We were doing grappling once and no one got it but me and my master who is 67 and after breaking his hand falling off a roof and a stoke got kinda heavy, had to mount me then i had to mount him back in front of this kid who always make it so awkward by making sex jokes when ppl are grappling so he was laughing and it was awkward as hell

[Redtail]

I was gonna continue with theme and make a 'did you tell her to get in the showers' or 'capoeira macht frie' joke but that's actually kindof sweet. Did she stay in that class?

Current Music: Dr Steel-Build the Robots

Yeah she stayed. There are actually more girls than guys in the cap class and a few in the BBJ class they just hadn't gotten there yet. Also she's a smart, tough kid. I think it was just the entire situation as a whole freaked her out.

[el dangeroso]

Last night one of our assistant instructors was rolling with one of the younger guys who is kind of cocky, so he gets the kid in mount and neck cranks the kid's face into his crotch. The kid is all pissed and said "What the hell was that?" The assistant instructor, with a totally straight face, said "Something I learned from the Kama Sutra"

[The Question]

When I was 17 and just started I used to sprout wood whenever I was in some girl's guard.

[Hooded Justice]

My very first MA experience was an Aikido class that was the closest I could find to sword instruction. The school also offered a systema class. I was met by a guy with a "shaggy" goatie and a pony tail. The head instructor was built like Norm from Cheers and there was an instructor who's name was simply Arrow (Not sure of spelling but same pronunciation). After being told that only black belts could spar and only lightly I decided to still give it a try (I knew not of bullshido even though I was swimming in it). A couple weeks later a friend of mine and I were taking talking about MA while at work. He really wanted to learn this brazilian jujitsu crap. Never heard of it, but AIkido seemed fundamentally better. So simple and elegant. ANYONE CAN DO IT!!! So after about 7 classes I was wondering if this stuff worked. Again talking with my friend about ma I was trying to explain aikido to him, so I simply said "Grab my wrist." He responded with "Why the fuck would I do that?" After a few moments all I could say was "I have no idea." The teacher became the student so to speak. I never returned to the school but got many years use out of the gi pants as workout pants and the boken was usable in kumdo.

In my kumdo school the teacher would have us form two lines and rotate sparring partners every 2 minutes. Because the classes were not divided by age there were 2 younger/smaller children that were sparring (well too). I stand at roughly 6'6"-6'7" and at the time was about 350lbs. These young fighters were probably about 12ish and at most 5 feet tall, possibly 100-115lbs each. I spent a total of 4 minutes in one day basically aggressively practicing sun-mok (wrist) strikes.

My first and only tournament so far for kumdo. My first match I won 0 to -2. I knocked the jukdo out of my opponent hands once and he left/retreated out of the wring 3 strait times. The last time he was several feet beyond the ring. One of my team mates girlfriend got it on video and you can see a judge shaking his head after the final negative point. I moved before it could be transferred to dvds but if the guy is still at the school I am going to try and get a copy when I return.

[Permalost]

When I was 17 and just started I used to sprout wood whenever I was in some girl's guard.

You know, if you could control that at will, you'd have an ace up your sleeve in a grappling or MMA match.

[sochin101]

You know, if you could control that at will, you'd have an ace up your sleeve in a grappling or MMA match.

"ref, ref, he's oil-checking me"
"No he's not, I can see his hands"

wow... cock push-ups integrated into MMA training.

[kracker]

When I was 17 and just started I used to sprout wood whenever I was in some girl's guard.

Rolling with hot girls as a teenager invariably results in one of two options, neither of which are particularly desirable.

Option #1: You get a hard on, which would be really embarassing if she noticed (this is
actually one of the reasons I started wearing a cup, just in case I had to roll with a girl)

Option #2 You don't get wood. This would indicate that you are gayer than a room full of dicks.

Take your pick