Weirdest moments in training?

[attakmint]

So it's September 12, 2001. Everybody's still in shock a little from what happened the last day, so I decide I might as well go to Kung Fu to restore some normalcy. Side note to those of you who don't know: I studied under Rudy Abel, but stopped in December 2001. I lost contact with him in the spring of 2002.

Anyways, Rudy spends a good chunk of class talking about how he would have dealt with the terrorists on the plane, or how we should have if we were in that situation. I seem to remember it involving a pen, his kung fu sash, and stabbing the spine.

[Aikicat]

I once made eye contact during a roll.

[Squerlli]

I blacked out for a second after I kneed myself in face doing a kip-up.

So I'm not the only one. +rep

[CoffeeFan]

[slayer506]

In my old TKD class there use to be these giant pillars throughout the room. One time when i was sparing my partner neglected to tell me that a pillar was behind me. I ended up turning and hitting it with my face. The force of the hit caused me to land flat on my ass/ back. This may be why i'm so messed up.

[FUNKtastic]

A drug addict walked in as we were finishing up and began lecturing us on the karate he learned in his projects.

An unverified black belt short one whole leg wanted to teach Judo at our dojo.

[KenpoPastor]

Last tuesday rolling no-gi, I passed my partners guard, but he recovered half-guard fairly quick and put me in a lockdown. Next, he goes for an arm triangle from the bottom. So I'm stuck there, not really getting choked, and still stuck in that lockdown.

Then I felt the most alien sensation I've ever felt training. There was a really slight pressure on my asshole. My foots trapped so I can't squirm forward. My head is trapped so I can't look backwards to see what the hell it was. All I can hear is the no-gi instructor talking behind me telling me to free my leg... but he sounds like he's a few feet away. Did I just blow an o-ring or something? wtf?

I manage to squirm out of the arm triangle, and look over my shoulder...

There's 3 or 4 guys watching, standing next to the no-gi instructor.

The instructor had a pool cue in his hand.

Everybody was laughing.

That's when it occured to me I'd just been on the receiving end of an oil-check.

I looked at him with that "What the fucking hell man?!" look on my face.

He smiled, "Motivation!"

At least he didn't use his finger.

I cannot tell you hard i'm laughing right now.

[Ungjaevel]

I was paired up to roll with a guy at the gym who has cerebral palsy a few months ago.

[Hedgehogey]

I went briefly unconscious when a particularly violent stack cause me to knee myself in the face during a tournament.

[Pugilist]

Few weird moments...

Most of the really strange stuff comes from living in training in some of the rougher parts of the city... Random people walking in and challenging people to fight, screaming kiai's into the doors when we had them open during the summer (because we used to Kiai a lot in my thai class /sarcasm) and general nuttiness similar to this.

I once went to check out an MMA school in my area when I was between gyms. I had experience in grappling, but one portion of introduction included training some basic submissions. The first was an armbar from guard. The technique was demonstrated for me and then I was given the chance to do it. I pulled my partner's arm fairly slowly across my body and his shoulder slipped out of socket, It was the weirdest thing I have ever felt. He kind of freaked but was able to pop his arm back in. He assured me that it happened all the time. I felt terrible none the less.

The second involves rolling with an army combatives guy that showed up at our university club. He rolled with a few of the members of our club and seemed a little tense. I rolled with him during the end of our open sparring. We started with me in his guard, and he was literally shaking as we began rolling. I was considerably smaller than him, but I was able to control him pretty well (especially after he wore himself out.) After a few moments of rolling, I gained mount and armbarred him and he would not tap. I extended his arm just past the point I was comfortable with (didn't wanna hurt the guy, our club had been on the rocks with the University for a few weeks) so I let go and started to get up. He jumped on my back and took me down, and I let him have an RNC. I was confused and he was excited that he subbed me.

[Severe]

sparring in the 80's against this samoan guy when he stopped, blew his very snotty nose into the inside of his shirt, and then returned to the fight. it was not pretty, and I didnt want to get close. rotten.

this woman who had the biggest set of breasts was paired with me for no-gi crappling lessons in kempo class. I was a teenager then. enough said. cant remember the lessons, but I still see her t-shirt two decades later. heaven.

there was also an asian who would fart in class. he was the central figure behind the saying "who opened that chinaman's lunch box?" god he must have eaten 100 year old eggs or something. rotten.

these memories are just from my Kempo years.

[Permalost]

After performing at a lion dance for a moon festival, an old guy started telling me about his kung fu experience. He said he was trained by a kung fu master from Thailand, who fought in death matches and usually won with a flying scissor kick that would break his opponents' spines. He talked about how he used to focus on lots of hand conditioning for breaking bricks, and he showed me his hands. They were unremarkable. He also demonstrated the blinding speed he developed, which was also unimpressive. He told me that someday I could achieve such prowess if I practiced hard.

A few years ago I was at a weapons class outside (we're often outside for long weapon work). We were all working on a single end staff form. A crazy person wearing a green trenchcoat and carrying a long stick made his nightly rounds. He was becoming less stable by the day. Everyone tried to move away from him and continue what they were working on. He began screaming about his daughter and he vomited on the ground. Everyone started to head inside, leaving their weapons outside. I was enveloped in what I was doing, and looked back to find that most people had left. The crazy man started powerwalking towards me, and I started to run away. I still had my staff. I was going to go back to the school, but knew that if I did the guy would follow me there and it would be a bad scene. I ran around the bank, gaging where he was by what sounded like several pockets full of change jingling as he trudged quickly. Once I lost him I went back to the school. I believe the cops picked him up. We went out to make an inventory of the weapons let outside in case he stole anything. All accounted for, except for a baton sized stick. The sifu produced it from up his sleeve. We have a rad sifu, I thought.

This is by far one of the oddest stories I have: a while back, I wastown with a friend, and we started talking to two homeless guys. They had a guitar with no strings, but it made a nice drum. After my friend assisted on singing "Big Rock Candy Mountain", we were on very good terms. While talking about various talents, my friend talks about how I'm a "kung fu master", which I've repeatedly told him not to call me. "Ninja" is also off limits. Anyway, one of these men (the somewhat sketchy one) tells me that he learned kung fu in Hong Kong, back in the day. "Chinese Boxing" and "gung fu" it seems. This means nothing, as both are generic terms for Chinese martial arts. He asks if I know "sticky hands". "Chi sau? I know of it, and have done some similar things" I tell him. He shows me some weird techniques, and asks me to show him some. Against his punch, I nop sau to the outside and apply my other firearm into the ribs. From there I use the same arm to strike the groin, slapping the thigh to simulate it. From there, it turns into a gooseneck with a neck hook followed by knees. He asks if I will cross hands with him. I tell him I will try. Now, I'm no chi sau player, but what he explained did not sound right. The goal was to start with crossed hands and touch the other person on the face. Seemed like push hands mixed with shadowboxing, and I'm well versed in those two. I did very well against him. All the while my friend was gesturing to me but I didn't know what he was trying to say. I forget what happened next, but I ended up putting one of them into a torture rack position and spinning in circles, much to the confusion of the tourists. Afterwards, my friend told me that he was trying to tell me that the guy I played chi sau with wet his pants while I was playing.

A few weeks ago, I got hit in the tip of the wang with a rattan stick when I wasn't wearing a cup.

[Virus]

Back in WC class ...we were doing some light sparring...

Now that is weird.

[Zimmer]

While doing Muay Thai awile back I was wearing boxers under my Thai shorts. You can probably already see where this is going. My package would flail around as I kicked. Nobody said anything so after class while kicking the air in the mirror I could see the problem. I never returned.

[Purpleskunk]

Oh man, ok so this new guy whos big, like fat big, and im like a small 150 5`9 16 year old, which doesnt seem bad but i am really skinny, he comes training for like 2 weeks already, hes pretty cool and everything but then hes absent for like a week. and on that week i decided to take up the BJJ offered since i was already paying for it. So it was my 2nd BJJ class and he comes back that day. So we're all rolling and crap and everyone got taken and he was standing there and was wondering what to do, i tell him we're just kinda sparring on each other in practice and change partners every round. and hes like alright, so we're both partnerless, and im like lets go. and then hes like ok, so as we're walking onto the mat, the instructor comes up quick and is liek no no no, hes too big for you. that mustve killed him.