What to do with MMA-LARPers?

[Dagon Akujin]

So I have this group of about 10 friends who have started a "fight club" in order to "do MMA training". They meet about once a week or more to "spar". They all watch UFC religiously, now that I got them into it. Here's the problem:

Between all 10 of them they have a total of.... zero days of actual training.

None of them have even taken a BJJ intro class. Now, most of them outweigh me by about 100 lbs. of muscle, and I'm nowhere near skilled enough on the ground to be able to school them effectively with all that retard strength, to show them just how retarded they are being. And, I haven't rolled with them since they started using strikes (they normally meet around 6 a.m. now).

I keep trying to get them to check out various BJJ schools, and the excuses I get range from:

"I don't want to spend the money."

to

"I don't have time to go to a school; I just want to train with friends."

to

"I don't want to spend the money."

So today I set up a chance to check out the BJJ class at a local JKD school (Chris Malgeri's Martial Arts Unlimited) for them. As a bonus there, Saturday classes are always free, so the guys couldn't use that excuse anymore of "not wanting to spend the money", and they can go and take the Saturday class for as long as they wanted. Five guys were set to go with me, and all excited about it, it seemed.

So instead of the excuse of "I don't want to spend the money", this morning I got these excuses:

"I need to go into work."

to

"I was up late last night."

to

"My laundry is still in and I need to get it in the drier."

All five guys backed out (4 of them the very morning we were supposed to go). To make their LARP-dom worse, one of the huge guys was telling me that he knew a guy that took Tang Su Do and was so totally hard-core, and that he wanted to take Tang Su Do because the guy could kick 9 feet in the air and break a board. This is the same guy who, when I told him they offered Savate, Wing Chun, Kali, and some other things at the JKD place, told me "Wing Chun doesn't work, that's why you never see that kung-fu crap in the UFC."

Tang Su Do?



So I'm at a loss, and it was frustrating enough that I thought I'd share something that would have been perfect had it happened during "TUF Noobs Suck Month".

Dagon

[Goju - Joe]

MMA Larpers

Get used to them

wave of the future

[ysc87]

Here's the solution:

Host a party
Spike all of their drinks
Drag all of them to the BJJ class
Time it so that, when they finally come to, someone has them in an armbar/rear mount RNC.

Not a very usable solution, but a solution nevertheless.

As for the Tang Soo Do guy, just stab him and get it over with. Honestly.

[Askari]

I am on the fence about this one. They arent really hurting anyone else. The Evan Tanner example springs to mind of the guy who just watched tapes and became a good fighter.

If they just want to get together and spar, are they really putting themselves in any real danger?

None of them are planning to fight MMA are they?

[Lampa]

Solution:

Step 1: Add free Saturday class to your training repetoir for both expanding your ability and the fun factor.

Step 2: Kill them.

[ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE]

I have to say, if they're LARPing MMA and you think they can kick your asss then that doesn't sound much like LARPing to me.

[CNagy]

Did you skip the zero days of training part? What exactly are they "mixing" for their mixed martial arts? They are imitating what they see on TV without any actual instruction. That's about as close to a LARPing definition as I can think of.

[BackFistMonkey]

Not many people want to really to learn how to fight . Playing and pretending is one thing , but it takes a certain type of person to step on the mat to learn how fight .

Because it means admitting you really don't know how to fight , you just got lucky , or had a feel for it , when you threw some hands in your local 24 hour parking lot .

[kwoww]

Obviously they're mixing retard strength and stupidity. There's your MMA.

Just tell them flat out "it's not martial arts if you don't know any" and be a brutally honest douchebag, all that sort of thing.

[ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE]

Seriously? So you don't see anything wrong with telling people they are LARping MMA but then refusing to fight them because you figure you'll just get your ass kicked? I mean sure, it's not the greatest idea in the world to do this but until someone actually kicks there ass I really doubt they are going to listen to someone about it.

I find msyelf wondering what sort of Martial Arts training leaves you outweighed and outmuscled by a group of 10 guys and feeling you can't take any of them.

Edit: I mean I agree they are LARPing MMA here, I just think that you haven't got a leg to stand on if you reckon they can all kick your ass and you want to advice them, on how to alter their training.

[polishillusion]

Hmmmm..... Why are you trying to "fix" the situation in the first place? You are NOT their Social Worker. I understand you want to help these friends, but putting yourself in a place where you do not understand what is going inside of yourself first is going to end terribly.

Tell us, what does it do for you to "help them see the light?"

Are you any way scared for their safety?

Do you want a group that you know will effectively help you train?

Are you a little embarrassed that they CAN still challenge you after all of your training? Doesn't that SUCK?


I am trying to be as serious as possible.

[aaaargh]

You need to get smaller friends.

[Dagon Akujin]

I find msyelf wondering what sort of Martial Arts training leaves you outweighed and outmuscled by a group of 10 guys and feeling you can't take any of them.

Edit: I mean I agree they are LARPing MMA here, I just think that you haven't got a leg to stand on if you reckon they can all kick your ass and you want to advice them, on how to alter their training.

I'm at 158 now, which is the heaviest I've ever been in my life (thank you kung-fu training +10 lbs.). I don't think I'd have a problem with some of them, but I would be the smallest. I've rolled with only a couple of them, and they can't, for the most part, submit me (I've even given some actual purples trouble because I'm wirey and hard to catch). Even when I pull knee-on-belly and get a mount, I can't muscle them into a sub and I don't have the technique to do it properly. The problem though is that I wouldn't be able to take the biggest of them on the ground, and I have a feeling that's the only thing that would make them go "fuck, that 150 pounder just schooled our bestest heavyweights. Maybe we should actually train something."

Hmmmm..... Why are you trying to "fix" the situation in the first place? You are NOT their Social Worker. I understand you want to help these friends, but putting yourself in a place where you do not understand what is going inside of yourself first is going to end terribly.

It's really just that I'm annoyed. The whole "TUF Noobs" getting to me sort of thing. I mean, fuck, I ordered UFC 3 on PPV.

Are you any way scared for their safety?

Actually, yes. And I've advised them to avoid neck cranks, knee-bars, heel-hooks, and slams. From when I've seen them, they don't "tap early, and tap often" in order to learn. They go all out in order to "win". So yes, I'm afraid for their safety.

Do you want a group that you know will effectively help you train?

Yes to that too. I'd like that they could actually help me with technique instead of retard strengthing me.

Are you a little embarrassed that they CAN still challenge you after all of your training? Doesn't that SUCK?

And, yes. :P But I don't really train the ground, and I can't just go in and punch them all in the throat (from what I gather, they do light striking mainly on the ground, and leave out the head). But yeah, it does suck.

Solution:

Step 1: Add free Saturday class to your training repetoir for both expanding your ability and the fun factor.

Step 2: Kill them.

Best solution yet. :qcheerlea Maybe I also need to actually get up early and check out their "New and Improved 6 a.m." class.

Dagon

[Ronin.74]

I think the best way to fix this problem may be to do the exact opposite of what your doing now. Instead of trying to get them to see that their training methodology is competely flawed you should instead encourage their behavior. You should go so far with your encouragement as to arrange fights for them in a local MMA event. Once they enter the event....

Problem solved.

[polishillusion]

I'm at 158 now, which is the heaviest I've ever been in my life (thank you kung-fu training +10 lbs.). I don't think I'd have a problem with some of them, but I would be the smallest. I've rolled with only a couple of them, and they can't, for the most part, submit me (I've even given some actual purples trouble because I'm wirey and hard to catch). Even when I pull knee-on-belly and get a mount, I can't muscle them into a sub and I don't have the technique to do it properly. The problem though is that I wouldn't be able to take the biggest of them on the ground, and I have a feeling that's the only thing that would make them go "fuck, that 150 pounder just schooled our bestest heavyweights. Maybe we should actually train something."


It's really just that I'm annoyed. The whole "TUF Noobs" getting to me sort of thing. I mean, fuck, I ordered UFC 3 on PPV.


Actually, yes. And I've advised them to avoid neck cranks, knee-bars, heel-hooks, and slams. From when I've seen them, they don't "tap early, and tap often" in order to learn. They go all out in order to "win". So yes, I'm afraid for their safety.


Yes to that too. I'd like that they could actually help me with technique instead of retard strengthing me.



And, yes. :P But I don't really train the ground, and I can't just go in and punch them all in the throat (from what I gather, they do light striking mainly on the ground, and leave out the head). But yeah, it does suck.





Best solution yet. :qcheerlea Maybe I also need to actually get up early and check out their "New and Improved 6 a.m." class.

Dagon

How about before you go, take about 15 minutes to remember how much you give a shit about your and their safety, and reflect on how much you enjoy proper training? I feel it will help with the possible mourning that may have to happen if they are LARPing.