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Before and After - Probably Done Before But Whatever...

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    Before and After - Probably Done Before But Whatever...

    Well I'm watching the Versus Network waiting for WEC programing to come on. They are showing Bloodsport...blah. It's the scene where Van Darn has to validate his entry into the "Kumite" by hitting the brick. After he destroys the poor little brick, Bolo chimes in with probably the greatest line of all time, "...but brick no hit back!"

    Anyways, while watching it, I started thinking about the first couple of times I watched it pre-Bullshido and now seeing it post-Bullshido. All the BS being spilled forth by this movie. Listing them all would be crazy, but from that scene alone:

    1) Shidoshi Tanaka - "shidoshi" meaning he was trained by a ninja...lol

    2) Dem Mak(sp?) - the "death touch"...is it really a death touch if the brick isn't technically alive in the first place???

    3) Prove you are worthy - WHAT? Didn't you give me an invite to this damn tournament. If you didn't think I could hack it, why waste the money inviting me here!!!

    4) Van Darn's Horrible Acting - WTF!!!

    Before Bullshido, I though how cool it would be to be trained by a ninja and to enter a secret tournament and to do the death touch and all that.

    After Bullshido, I think about how cool it would be to be trained by Randy Couture, Eddie Bravo, Karo Parisyan, various badass boxing and kickboxing trainers; get invited to the UFC, perform totally awesome Judo throws and wrestling takedowns, picture perfect boxing and Thai techniques, and awesome submissions such as gogoplatas.

    Thank you Bullshido!

    Anyways, just curious about the perceptions some of you on here had about some of the famous and not-so-famous martial arts movies pre-Bullshido and post-Bullshido.

    #2
    LOL Bloodsport.

    So who cares if it's bullshit? IT'S JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by kwoww
      LOL Bloodsport.

      So who cares if it's bullshit? IT'S JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

      Yeah, I know. I think the thing that really pisses me off more then anything else, is the fact that this was passed off as autobiographical. I mean, if this was fiction (which it is) then it would be ok. That's the only sore point I have about the movie really.

      Also, since he hasn't had a hit movie since....I can't remember, he's been downgraded to Van Darn! Just like Steven Seagull.

      Comment


        #4
        He had to prove himself because he was using the Tanaka clan's standing invitation--basically trading on Tanaka's reputation. They didn't believe Tanaka would have trained a round-eye. This was foreshadowed in the fact that Tanaka initially used Dux only as a sparring partner for his son--and even after he died, when Dux talked about taking his place in the Kumite, Tanaka snapped "You are not Japanese!"


        How about movies you can still watch and enjoy AB (After Bullshido) because they're that goddamn good? The only one I can think of off the top of my head is Hero. Full of bullshido but I just didn't care.
        *********************************************

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Don Gwinn
          How about movies you can still watch and enjoy AB (After Bullshido) because they're that goddamn good? The only one I can think of off the top of my head is Hero. Full of bullshido but I just didn't care.
          When I saw Hero for the first time I was in awe. The second time, watching it AB, I was LOLing. Excellent film, nonetheless.

          Comment


            #6
            The only one I can think of off the top of my head is Hero. Full of bullshido but I just didn't care.
            Yep. The idea of using calligraphy to get better at fighting is so ludicrous that you can suspend disbelief over it. Or using musical meditation to work out who would win a fight before you even start. It's obviously pure fantasy as opposed to more "realistic" stuff like ninjers and kata where you're not quite sure whether they're being serious or not.
            Dedicated to legs and the disrespecting thereof.

            Comment


              #7
              To some degree *every* martial art movie is unrealistic after training in a martial art. You realize your body can't do 100% of what is being shown on screen. If you watch these film as entertainment and realize that certain parts can be attainable it makes them more palatable in the BS mindset.

              Oddly enough, one that still holds up for me is Jeff Speakman's Perfect Weapon. I like how the guy gets his ass handed to him as much as he brings it.

              Sonny Chiba's first Street Fighter is the same way. The guy just looks scary and doles out these hard blocks that look like they would hurt more then the strikes.

              Clear room to the side, I'm jumping on these nuts: Bruce Lee's Fist of Fury and Jet Li's Fist of Legend. I like the old Japanese/Chinese Dojo wars movies.

              Comment


                #8
                If we're going that route, then Ten Tigers from Kwangtung gets my vote for best martial arts movie ever. What's better than old Chinese guys in robes, golden mermaids used as bludgeoning tools, and lots of guys hiding in a river with a really big net?
                edit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wX-UyQnM2rc, and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41fhEz1N1Tc
                Last edited by kwoww; 6/03/2007 8:08pm, .

                Comment


                  #9
                  I saw bloodsport for a laugh a few weeks ago. Things I noticed were:

                  - Frank Dux has a five year-old kindergarten haircut.

                  - Not once does the fight go to the ground. They knock people over and then let them get back up.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Liffguard your avatar is hard to make out. Is it cybered-up dinosaurs shooting lasers at each other?

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Dude, Fist of Legend is one of my all-time favorites. Not because the moves would actually work or anything, but I think it's one of Jet Li's best movies because the action looks so realistic. In all his other movies there are obviously wires galore, (which I really dislike) and while I'm not sure if he used them in this movie or not, the Kung Fu at least looks real.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Virus
                        Liffguard your avatar is hard to make out. Is it cybered-up dinosaurs shooting lasers at each other?
                        I'd like to know the answer to that as well.



                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Don Gwinn
                          He had to prove himself because he was using the Tanaka clan's standing invitation--basically trading on Tanaka's reputation. They didn't believe Tanaka would have trained a round-eye. This was foreshadowed in the fact that Tanaka initially used Dux only as a sparring partner for his son--and even after he died, when Dux talked about taking his place in the Kumite, Tanaka snapped "You are not Japanese!"


                          How about movies you can still watch and enjoy AB (After Bullshido) because they're that goddamn good? The only one I can think of off the top of my head is Hero. Full of bullshido but I just didn't care.
                          Not sure honestly. I'm not even sure if I know of any. I think Lethal Weapon had the right idea, but not the best of executions. It was ahead of it's time when made though.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by airman kai
                            I'd like to know the answer to that as well.
                            Yes, it's dinosaurs shooting lazers at each other. It's from an old, old Sat Morning Cartoon (I forget the name, sadly) about a group of people who are space explorers and use technology on a planet ruled by dino's. They face villains and stuff with teradactils with techno-saddles and T-rex's with mega-lasers strapped to their heads. When I was little I even had the T-rex figurine. They were called.... Dino Masters? Dino Lords? Something like that, I think.

                            EDIT for the OP: I love watching Kung Fu movies with friends who are boxers, judoka, BJJers and the like because they're just wicked entertaining and awsome but those are the friends who won't say "DUDE, I'm SOOOOOOO taking KUNG FU nooooow!" You'd be amazed at how stupid some really smart people get when they can't see the wires on the stuntmen.
                            Last edited by WorldWarCheese; 6/03/2007 9:51pm, .

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Virus
                              Liffguard your avatar is hard to make out. Is it cybered-up dinosaurs shooting lasers at each other?
                              It's "Dino Riders." I still have my worn-out VHS copy of the first episode (complete with awesome Tyco toy commercials!).

                              http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dino_Riders

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