Your significant other's apathy...

[Chili Pepper]

Well, you could always try to get her into a weapon martial art like Kali :) .. then just give her a knife and pray that she chooses to fillet the bastard if she's anti-gun.

I get all misty every time I think about Frau Chili Pepper answering the door with her 8-inch chef's knife in hand...

Unfortunately, ain't got no advice. If she isn't defence-minded, it is unlikely that you'll be able to make her so.

[Neildo]

oh that tears it. red dots for you sir.

[Neildo]

http://www.gundoghousedoor.com/

[PirateJon]

It is not about being paranoid. It's about being safe, about not walking dogs or jog alone in the middle of the night. It's about never leaving the doors unlocked, never. By the way we raise kids, women are usually more sheltered from physical violence and as a result tend to be quite naive and rosy-colored. This is a fact.

Being safe =/= being paranoid.

That's the thing. she obviously doesn't consider her behavior to be unsafe, or she wouldn't do it. And if you're already safe, why add more stuff to reduce the minimal risk even more? You wouldn't. Example - would i be "safer" if I did a tactical sweep of my house everytime I came home? Sure. Do i need to? No.

Now I'm not saying she's right, just that's proabably how she views it. You can try to get her to re-evaluate her risk (see that book) so she chooses to have more security or you can ask her to adjust her behavior to put you at ease. I'd go with #2.


book - https://www.gavindebecker.com/books-gof.cfm. It's a good read.

[Nid]

Also a good book is "the gift of fear" which is about trusting your gut and recognizine techniques that baddies use to put you at ease.

Like car salesmen. Damn.

[Mas]

Also a good book is "the gift of fear" which is about trusting your gut and recognizine techniques that baddies use to put you at ease.

Irony?


I know this has been mentioned before, but really the real reason you're pissed about this is because you (most likely) care about her, and really just manifesting in frustration. I'd just tell her that.

By the way getting people to "kidnap" her or whatever is the worst idea in the vast history of ideas. So, a pox on he who brought it up.

Good luck working on that though, here's hoping you get through to her.

[Teh El Macho]

Women are really retarded in some ways. Sorry to say it. They like to do stupid shit like jogging to the park at 9PM with freaking headphones. Their ability to live in la-la land irritates me to no end sometimes, and if you try to beat some sense of awareness (just plain common sense and care), they dismiss what you have to say.

Yrkoon, have you considered taking this issue with a relationship counselor? Believe it or not, she may be more willing to pay attention to what you are saying if a 3rd party (a counselor) is on the same page with you.

Significant others sometimes get too accostumed to do their own things and have their own way within the confine of their relationships. It is all too common for one spouse to "not pay attention" when their SO suggest a change in their way of life, even if it makes sense.

A counselor that can hear from you both, and where you make your case (which makes 100% sense) should help both of you. Think about it.


And for the few out there who think he's being paranoid, fuck no. He's not. You don't need to live in the middle of a dilapidated gang war zone, nor go Phill Elmore to understand the need for home safety. I have four sisters (one of them just recently passed away), and plenty of female friends. And all of them, by no flaw of their own have had to deal with a potentially dangerous freak. It happens in school and at work.

It is not about being paranoid. It's about being safe, about not walking dogs or jog alone in the middle of the night. It's about never leaving the doors unlocked, never. By the way we raise kids, women are usually more sheltered from physical violence and as a result tend to be quite naive and rosy-colored. This is a fact.

Being safe =/= being paranoid.

[Nid]

...try to turn the Ms. into phil elmore

::shudder::

[JohnnyCache]

SS? Nazi storm troopers raided your neighbour? You do live in a fucked up neighbourhood!

We have our own "SS," the United States Secret Service - they're the enforcement arm of the treasury dept. and do a lot more then just guard state figures, namely enforcing many interstate computer crime laws in conjunction with the fbi and enforcing laws re the counterfeiting of us currency.

[Lebell]

All the precautions in the world won't guarantee her safety. You know this. So rather than try to turn the Ms. into phil elmore,

very very disturbing thought...someones wife turning into phil elmore...spooning with phil elmore...god i have to puke.....brb

[PirateJon]

All the precautions in the world won't guarantee her safety. You know this. So rather than try to turn the Ms. into phil elmore, figure out the top one or two riskiest things you think she does and directly ask her to try to work on them so you don't worry as much.

Also a good book is "the gift of fear" which is about trusting your gut and recognizine techniques that baddies use to put you at ease.

[ironlurker]

How the fuck do you get through to them and wake them the fuck up BEFORE ITS TOO LATE?!?!

Tough situation, because MA/knife/gun doesn't seem to be an option when she won't even lock the back door. You said she was freaked out by the few things she did witness, so my best bet would be to deprogram her with horror stories, literally. Even given the unproven possibility some of it might be passive-aggressive, there's plenty of news articles that could scare her straight, with the added bonus that it's not "just you" ranting and raving.
It might seem mean to bombard someone with shocking news, but for a woman -or anyone- in a city, especially by themselves, to leave their doors unlocked at night is so horrible that you'd be justified.

Like this one.

Necrophilia alleged in College Park strangulation

By Kathy Jefcoats
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 04/26/07 3:30 PM


A College Park man charged with strangling his neighbor to death is now being accused of having sex with the woman before and after her death.The indictment alleges that Knox had anal sex with Jacobs after she was dead. Jacobs was found strangled in the bathtub of the apartment.

Now, note, this woman who was killed and raped had absolutely nothing to do with this guy except the fact that he had used her telephone once. She wasn't "looking for trouble."
What happens when the guy at the back door shows up again at your wife's apartment, except this time he's a little more high or a little more strung out? Ask her if she wants to be in the headlines.

EDIT- and by the way, it's not paranoia. People will test you to see how far they can get. Just as an example, the guy who talked to her at the backdoor knows that he can get her to open the door and talk to him. That's all someone might need.

[Snake Plissken]

Do you have a methodone clinic 2 miles away, and a field behind your house that these scumbags start fires in and start dancing around at 2am? And do you live across the street from a bar, a 24hour minimart, gun store, AND a walmart catering to all types of various miscreants?

Dude...it's Vegas. There are bars in the churches in Vegas. As for Wal-Mart....well, it's Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart is like the Mecca for miscreants. Try going in there on the 3rd or 4th of the month (Social Security Day) when the very old and unemployed get their "gubermint" checks. As for the open field...any possibility of peppering the field with broken glass, rusty nails, coyotes, feral cats...anything to keep the modern primitives out or at least something that can thin the herd a little?

Can you move to Boulder City? No casinos, which cuts down on alot of the assorted shit that the casinos attract? Sounds like their is some Meth related shit going down in your neighborhood.

[meataxe]

Join the Australian Military (which is of a higher caliber anyway).

What calibre do you use?:new_tomat

[wetware]

Motorcycle. Get a motorcycle. They can't talk to you so damn much when you are on a bike. In a car, they still want to "talk." ACH!

"Hey, you could get those helmets with the radios in it so you can still talk to eachother on the bikes!"

"They don't make those, dude."

"No, man, I saw them over at..."

"THEY don't MAKE those, DUDE."